Lost in your Expectations
by Silver85
Summary: They had expected Santana to attack Rachel after that insult. No one expected her to just stand up and walk out of the room. Even more so, no one expected that she would never walk back in. Set after Silly Love Songs and goes AU.
1. Chapter 1: What did you expect?

**Lost in your Expectations**

_They had expected Santana to attack Rachel after that insult. No one expected her to just stand up and walk out of the choir room. Even more so, no one expected she would never walk back in._

**Rating**: _**M **_

(Violence, Language, Sexual content)

**Disclaimer**: I do not own Glee, the characters, pairings or anything associated with Glee.

**Pairings**: Brittana is the main focus. Other pairings may come into play in later chapters.

Special thanks to my beta who I look forward to working with. You can follow me on Tumblr:

__where I will take questions/suggestions/etc and you can find my other work as well.

Please drop a review and let me know what you think. I live off your comments. (Well, it keeps me writing.)

Chapter one: What did you expect?

"_Maybe you're right, maybe I am destined to play the title role in Broadway musical version of Willow, but the only job you're going to have is working on a pole!"_

The words echoed as no one breathed. Rachel had never dared lash out at Santana like this. Everyone waited for the fiery Latina to turn in her seat and rip Rachel limb from limb. But nothing was said and seconds slowly ticked by. Those closest to the pair flinched when Santana finally stood from her seat. They were prepared to jump in the way and hold Santana back, like they've had to before but they didn't have to this time. Santana just grabbed her bag and walked out of the room.

"Holy crap,she just left?" Puck is the first one to break the silence. No one expected that to happen. Rachel was actually visibly shaken. Possibly fearing the attack that would be waiting inthe hallway. "She's going to get everyone to slushy you, just so you know,"Puck adds since no one else wants to talk or they just can't find the words

"Oh please,Satan had that coming. All she ever does is lash out at us. About time someone was brave enough to give it back. I, for one, applaud you, Rachel, for having the guts to do it," Artie spoke, giving a firm nod in Rachel's direction. Brittany pulled her hand out of his and stood. Everyone's gaze snapped to her.

"You guys are unbelievable. Did you guys ever once think that maybe her vicious, vicious words are just her way of feeling safe? That she has to cause others pain just so she's not swallowed up by her own? Or that maybe she's just as damaged as we all are? After all, we're one, happy misfit family," Brittany's words caused even more silence. Rachel shifted in her seat again, Quinn was suddenly very interested in her shoes and Finn just rolled his eyes.

"No offense honey, but that is stupid. Santana just likes to make everyone feel like nothing and she enjoys it. I doubt she's capable of real human emotion," Artie spoke, clearly not touched by Brittany's wise words. After all, she was the dumb blonde who just said things. If Santana had still been in the room she would have paralyzed the rest of Artie's body. But she wasn't in the room. Nor was she coming back.

Brittany snapped.

For one, Artie called her stupid and that was never okay with her. Normally Santana would be there to instill that person with a new respect for the word, but she wasn't here. Secondly, how dare he! Santana was more than capable of feeling human emotion. Brittany knew that better than anyone. She just wasn't comfortable showing it. Brittany had found her more times with tear streaks than she could count but she remembered every single time. When Santana's cousin, who was like a brother to her, died, or when they found out Quinn's family kicked her out when she was pregnant, or after they laid in each others' arms and she couldn't bring herself to say what Brittany was waiting for her to have the courage to say. Santana was more emotional than all of them and she was too good at hiding behind her aggressive words and stone-cold glare.

All of this built up in Brittany's chest and then snapped. Her hand stung but no more than Artie's now flaming cheek. "How dare you! I'm not stupid and you're wrong about Santana. You are all wrong." And then Brittany was gone, running out of the glee room and into the hallway calling out Santana's name. She wasn't in the hall. Brittany ran towards the parking lot but her black jeep was gone. Santana was gone. Santana was her ride home so now Brittany was forced with riding the bus home. She pulled her phone from her pocket and quickly typed out a text to Santana, _Call me_.

Santana never called, nor did she answer the door when Brittany went over after school. Her jeep was in the driveway but no lights were on. Brittany even went as far as to climb up the tree outside her room but she wasn't there. Brittany sighed and went home. Santana just needed time, to heal and shake off those damaging words Rachel had screamed at her. When Brittany got home she sat on her bed, knees tucked tight to her chest, phone gripped in her fist. San would call her, or text her when she was ready and Brittany would be there for her. She would always be there for her.

The next day at school Brittany eagerly looked for the girl that had claimed her heart butshe was nowhere to be found. Perhaps she was just avoiding all the glee kids,which unfortunately also included her. Glee practice finally came around that day but Santana never showed.

"Maybe Satan finally decided to go back to the pit of hell she crawled out of and quit Glee," It was Lauren who uttered the insult and it left Brittany gripping her thighs in anger. How dare she! How dare they all! She turned in her seat but Quinn stopped her, placing a calming hand on her shoulder.

"Santana will come back when she's sure she won't murder us all but simply breathing the same air as her. I doubt she would quit. This is the best part of her day,"Quinn was always good with words. So much better than Brittany and so much more peaceful than Santana. Brittany knew the truth of Quinn's statement. Santana loved singing and she wouldn't quit the club just because of this. She wouldn't quit, right?

For once,Brittany was wrong about Santana. Everyone always joked that she could teach a class on San 101 because she knew everything about her. She could calm her with a touch, and have her protection with just a look. In the dark, away from judging eyes, she would excite her with just a touch or whisper. She knew everything about Santana or at least she had thought so.

Santana never came back. It was a week before her parents had even noticed and got in touch with the school and that was only because they had just returned home for one of their very short visits and noticed the rotten food, piled up mail, and stale air of the abandoned house. Everyone just figured that she was tired of the school scene and dropped out, thus also quitting glee club. Brittany was the only one to know how wrong that was. San would never just disappear, never just leave her. Not without a call or text but Brittany had heard nothing. Her phone was full of unanswered calls and texts messages. Quinn's almost matched that number.

Days turned into weeks and weeks into a month. Brittany had taken a turn for a worse just like her fears. Either Santana left town, like she always threatened to do but not without her, or she had done something bad, something destructive like she was prone to do once her fit of tears passed when she was drunk. Brittany stopped expressing herself in creative clothes only wearing jeans and hoodies,her hair framing her face lifelessly. Nothing ever reached her ocean eyes anymore, now just a pale blue. Quinn never left her side, reassuring her that Santana was coming back, she just needed time to get over her anger and hurt. Reminding her that Santana would always find her way back to her. Her and Artie were officially over, which would cheer San up if she ever came back to hear the news. Not that she hadn't texted the news to her in hopes it would draw her out of hiding.

It was exactly 46 days when the police officers entered the classroom where the glee club got together to practice. Mr. Shue called everyone's attention with a grim expression. Brittany immediately gripped Quinn's hand, getting an equally firm grip in return.

"These officers would like to ask you all some questions in private. Your parents have been contacted and are on their way here and Ms. Pillsbury will also be present during and after they ask you questions," Mr. Shue informed them.

"Whatever it is, I didn't do it," Puck raised his hands.

"It wasn't you this time Puck," Mr. Shue shakes his head, running a hand through his wavy hair. Everyone notices and Couch Sue is now standing in the doorway. She looks equally upset, with her arms folded over her chest.

"Then what is this about?" Kurt asks, daring to know the details everyone else doesn't seem to want to ask.

"We're here for information on one, Santana Lopez," One of the officers spoke.

"Why ask us? None of us were really friends with her," Artie spoke. Quinn winced as Brittany nearly crushed her hand in a death grip. Quinn didn't know if it was from the officers being her about Santana or what Artie dared to say. Perhaps both.

"We still have questions for you, weather you were friends with her or not," The officer answered.

"Santana's a runaway. Why do we have to deal with this crap?" Finn asked. Artie raised his hand like he always does when shouting out 'Praise' or 'Preach'. Quinn immediately shot them both death glares.

"We are investigating her murder," The officer said. For once the choir room was silent until a strangled cry escaped from Brittany's lips.


	2. Chapter 2: Questions and blame

_ Questions. Everyone had them. Especially now. Once news breached that Santana Lopez was believed dead, murdered; questions piled up and very few had answers. Answers that people craved, but no one more than Brittany. She was desperate to know what happened to her best friend. Desperate to know who stole her precious life. Who was responsible for breaking her physically when she was already shredded to pieces on the inside? Brittany wanted know, she needed someone to point all of her hurt and anger on. She needed someone to blame, other than herself._

"Ms. Pierce,we understand that you were considered Ms. Lopez's best friend," Officer Jones spoke with a calmness Brittany wasn't expecting. They were here to question her about murder, about death and he was sitting there lacking emotion but talking as if he could possibly care. It made her angry but the sadness was crushing that anger down and she knew it would consume her later, but not during this interview.

"Yes. We've been best friends since we were six," She answered, biting back tears. Her hands kept twisting together, skin pulling tightly reminding her this was reality. She was really being questioned about Sans' murder.

"Were you aware of any destructive behaviors she might have possessed?" Officer Jones clasped his hands on the edge of Mrs. Pillsbury desk. Brittany's parents sat next to her. She could feel her mother's eyes examining her. All she could do was nod, knowing it would upset her parents that she had such a bad influence for a best friend but they knew Santana just as well as they knew her. Sure,Santana had climbed into her room countless nights while high or drunk. More so recently than any times in the past. She knew she was to blame for San's destructive behavior. Ever since she started to date Artie, Santana would no longer come to her for comfort unless she was drugged out of her mind to not remember that she was hurt by her. Brittany badly wanted to take that pain away but she couldn't because she was the cause of it. Yet, she couldn't break up with Artie because it wasn't fair to him and Brittany was tired of waiting for Santana to finally realize she was in love with her. That Santana was gay and Brittany was waiting for her. Now, the waiting game was finally over. That thought broke something inside of her and she began sobbing uncontrollably. Her mother immediately wrapped her tightly in her arms.

"I know this is hard so I'll just ask one more question. Are you familiar with the abandoned warehouse on 7th street?" Officer Jones asked.

She tried to catch her breath so she could answer him. She knew about that place. How Santana would go there with Puck to hang out with some of their friends. Whenever Brittany would ask about them Santana would always brush it off saying she wouldn't know them and she wouldn't like them. She knew she wouldn't especially when she realized sometimes they were the cause of her bruises or cuts. She definitely knew they were the ones that Santana got her drugs from. She would ask Santana countless times to explain to her why she would go there and hang out with them when all they did was hurt her or use her. San would just shrug and never answer. At least, not when she was sober. One night she'd finally answered her, drunk with tear stains on her cheeks; _"There I can forget. There, I no longer feel."_ Brittany never understood that answer and Santana never explained. Now she wouldn't get the answer. She would never understand. It was hopeless to think she could control the sobbing that wrecked through her but she did manage to nod and choke out her answer, "She used to go there with Puck a lot. I don't know why."

McKinley High has been struck by scandal! Hot and fiery Santana Lopez has been declared dead. Sources say police found a large amount of blood and hair at the scene of the crime. Prime suspect ex boy toy and recently freed from juvie, Noah Puckerman. It's no secret that Puckerman would sneak away with Lopez to the very warehouse where she was bled dry. Even more scandalous, her body has yet to be found! No more details have been released but as soon as I hear the news,don't worry McKinley, you'll know.

Brittany couldn't stop staring at Jewfro as he walked down the hall with his cameraman as he filmed his newest segment for his internet blog. Brittany froze, hand still reaching into her locker. She didn't see Quinn who had made her way to her side. "Are you okay, Brittany?" Quinn asked, reaching out to bring her out of the daze she'd become lost in.

"Do you think it was Puck?" Brittany asked, still not blinking but drawing her hand back out void of whatever she forgot she was supposed to be grabbing.

"Do you?"Quinn asked. Quinn knew she was just searching for answers that no one was willing to give. The only person who really had any scoop on what was going on was the annoying camera fetish Jew that just walked down the hall and Puck who wasn't allowed to talk about it. The cops thought he had something to do with but there wasn't evidence to link him to the crime or the location. More evidence wasn't going to show until they found her body.

"I still don't know how they think she's dead. They haven't found her. She's just missing is all. Not ready to deal with the glee club or maybe she just ran away. Maybe she just couldn't be around us anymore," Brittany's voice broke Quinn's thoughts.

"Honey, I wish that was true. They said that there was so much blood that unless she was medically treated on site, there was no way she is still alive. She hasn't been checked into any hospitals," Quinn tried to be gentle, touching her arm in sympathy. Everyone was taking this hard. Sure, not many people liked Santana. She was brash, rude, ruthless, and had a tongue of barbed wire but to those who were closest to her, she was compassionate, fierce, and loyal. She would do anything to protect those she cared about and Brittany was number one on that list. Everyone knew that. Of course, it didn't help the rumor mill when they would make out at parties and blow boys off just to spend time with each other. Quinn knew the truth. Brittany had confided in her back when the two had first slept together. Quinn had seen it blossom from just fooling around to just being fools in love who were afraid to admit it. Now Brittany had to live without ever knowing how much Santana really loved her and not just as best friends.

"I should have stopped her, Quinn. She's always drowned her pain or lashed out into fights just to forget what's hurting her on the inside. If I had run after her instead of yelling at those fake friends of ours," She broke, a sob ripping from her throat. Quinn immediately pulled her into a tight hug. "I could have stopped her and...and...she would still...be here...be with me," Brittany could barely speak around her tears. Her knees buckled and Quinn eased her to the ground pulling Brittany tighter against her and shushing her.

"It's not your fault. Don't you dare blame yourself for this. She wouldn't want you to,"Quinn just repeated that over and over again but Brittany never believed her. Wouldn't allow herself to believe her. If only she'd run after her. If only she'd loved her enough to keep her safe. Brittany knew. She knew what Santana did to cope with her life. Brittany had even feared it would get her seriously hurt one day and now that the day has come, Brittany knows she could have done more. She could have hurt Artie to save Santana. She could have done anything more than what she did. She waited, wanted Santana to figure out her feelings so they could be happy without doubts. She waited for Santana to be brave but she had to jump start her or it would have never happened. She started dating Artie to make her jealous, to realize it was more than just friendship and a party gag. But when it started to work and Santana began to realize, began to fight who she was, Brittany could have broken up with Artie because that was all she was using him for. She couldn't, and now with everything ripped from her grasp, she can't remember why. She just knows she should have done more. She should have saved her from herself.

They waited. It seemed like forever but they still waited. Glee club moved on, the tragedy just a spot in their memory. Quinn wouldn't let her quit, wouldn't let her fall into the despair and grief she so desperately wanted to lose herself in. But the more they waited the less everyone else seemed to care and then the answers came. A murder weapon was found, blood dried from the tip to the hilt. Someone had buried a knife, a full blade, into Santana. Buried it to the hilt. Fingerprints found, witness stepped forward, and then the murder confessed. Actually confessed.

He'd been at the warehouse to bargain for drugs. A crowd was there, betting on fights. The girl, Santana, had been fighting and won some money and some drugs. He went to her but she wouldn't give him any drugs from the stash she'd won that night. He said she wanted to be greedy and wouldn't share. Wouldn't even sell some to him. He'd gotten angry, going through withdrawals and attacked. Then he stabbed her, had only meant to give her a cut to scare her but instead he'd stabbed her, in the gut. He grabbed her drugs and money and then ran. He'd tossed the knife and then got high to forget what he'd just done.

They finally had answers. After months of waiting, nearing the end of summer, Brittany now had someone to hate, someone to blame other than herself. Quinn took her to the trail and they watched as he was sentence to life in prison for her murder. She glared, clenched her hands, and cried. Quinn never left her side and the once unholy trinity was now just the broken duo. But Brittany didn't know what to do now. She'd focused so long on casting blame, and waiting to know, that now she had her answers what was left for her? How could she go on knowing she was missing the most important piece to her entire being? How could she ever be happy again?

**Author's note:**

**Thank you to everyone who has favorite/followed me and this story. I appreciate all of the reviews as well. Follow me on Tumblr and feel free to hit up my ask box. **

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**I look forward to hearing from you all. **


	3. Chapter 3: Senior Year

**Song for watch?v=hr5kLntOi2k**

**(Barlow Girl-Never Alone)**

**Note: Senior Nationals are in New York, just FYI.**

Senior year, it was supposed to be the best time of your youth. So many events that happen within a short amount of time to look forward to. There was colleges to apply to, a future to plan, senior skip day, prom, graduation. All these moments she was supposed to enjoy and look forward to. She wasn't complete, she never would be again and these moments she didn't want to experience. Not without Santana. But Santana wasn't coming back. Brittany had to learn to live her life without her. She had to learn how to survive with a gaping hole in her heart that wouldn't stop bleeding.

First day of senior year:

On the first day of senior year she was determined to not join the Glee club this year. If you asked her why she two reasons. One, they had disappointed her. Sue's sister had died and the Glee club rallied together to make it the best funeral ever. Not once did they offer to help with Santana's. No one sang at her funeral, no one cried, except for Quinn and herself. Not even Santana's parents had cried but that had only made her angry. Two, Santana wasn't going to be there and Brittany didn't have the strength to look over and not see her by her side.

If she was going to be honest with herself she would much rather just drop out of school and crawl into a hole and cry until her heart finally stops beating from the damage of how shattered it was. She knew she wouldn't be able to concentrate on the lessons, or have the motivation to even smile and act like she cared about all the cool things they were supposed to be excited about.

Her plan to just try and survive senior year was disrupted by Quinn.

"Brittany, I want you in Glee club with me this year. I know you don't want to be there and be reminded but Glee was Santana's favorite part of the day. Us being there,its just a way for us to stay close to her. She loved watching you dance, and she loved hearing you sing," Quinn had argued.

"Why? She's not there to see or hear me," Brittany couldn't even be angry with Quinn. Quinn knew her pain, knew how badly she just wanted to finally go numb but Quinn kept fighting against that. Pulling out during the summer to go shopping or feed the ducks. Everything Brittany had once believed was magical, it wasn't the same anymore and Quinn understood. Brittany was just grateful that someone other than herself hadn't ignored what happened, that someone else had been broken by her death.

"She's watching over you, Britt. Just like she always has. She always will, and I promise I will too. Let's make her proud this year. You know she would have wanted us to win Nationals not just for Cheerios but for Glee Club too and you know they can't do that without my pretty looks and your amazing dance skills. When we win both, it'll be a double rainbow that you made happen, for her,"Quinn smiled softly, resting a comforting hand on Brittany's shoulder. Quinn was always comforting her these past few weeks but no one had been there for Quinn. She'd lost her best friend too. Brittany knew she couldn't just do this for Santana, she also needed to do it for Quinn. To be strong and supportive to the only friend she had left. She nodded and Quinn's smile lit up the room,pulling her into a tight hug.

"Wanna know a secret?" Quinn offered after they parted. Quinn linked her elbow with Brittany's and led her to the choir room. Brittany nodded with a small forced smile. "Coach Sue is going to co-direct New Directions this year." Brittany was confused. Why would Sue help the Glee club? She hated the Glee club often trying to get the unholy trinity to sabotage it. "Sue wants help make this year better for us. Not the Glee club, but us. She knows what you're - we're going through. It'll be a good distraction for us all and with Sue on our side, we can't lose." Quinn pulled them around the corner and into the choir room where all of the club sat in fear as Sue stood there, megaphone in hands, ready to break them down and build them into winners. Quinn was right and Brittany sat with a new resolve. She would dance her heart out, lay it all out and do her best this year. She would do it for Santana. Not because Santana would have done it for her but because she loved Santana so much she wanted to do everything she could to make her proud. Santana was watching over her and she was going to show her everyday how much she still loved her.

Christmas break:

The beat thudded loudly in the auditorium. Sue had given her a key for the break. She was working on their Nationals number. Sue had forced Will into giving the solo to Quinn instead of Rachel and Brittany was going to accompany by dancing. Rachel had thrown her fit, having been cast out of the solo before they had even started their first rehearsal for the year. But this was Sue's way of giving the girls their moment to say goodbye to Santana. The glee club had been upset not understanding why it was so important that it was Quinn and Brittany and that it had to be about Santana. That was over, so last year, and Sue had nearly set those kids on fire in rage at their heartless words. No one cared and Brittany was done caring about their lack of feelings on one of their member's deaths. So she wasn't upset that Rachel didn't get her grand solo for Nationals their senior year. Nor did she care that the group was resenting her and Quinn. Let them hate all they wanted but she was going to do this and it was going to be perfect. As soon as she'd found out the song Quinn was going to sing, she didn't spend a day she didn't practice. It would be perfect, even if it took breaking both her legs while dancing to do it.

This wasn't just a tribute or a way of saying goodbye to the one person she loved more than anyone in the world. This was a way for her to deal with all the anger she had inside over her murder, what led her to that warehouse, how she didn't stop her, that her parents had sold all of her belongings which included her jeep and how she couldn't afford to buy any of it to save it, or that no one besides her, Quinn, and Sue even cared that she was gone. Dance wasn't just a form of expression anymore, it was her healing factor. Focusing on this and she was going to survive the year. She was going to graduate, plan her future even if it wouldn't be complete, and she was going to make Santana proud. She was going to make herself proud.

She stopped the disc and packed up her duffel. Quinn was going to be here any second to pick her up for their weekly girls' night. They would eat ice cream and watch Sweet Valley High until they passed out, cuddled into each other for comfort. They'd been doing this since the week of Santana's funeral and without this night to look forward to, a night where it was still okay for her to be sad,she knew she would have drowned in her sorrow long ago. Quinn wouldn't let her. Months later, dealing with her own drama and Quinn still looked after her.

Quinn had revealed that she'd made Santana a promise early their junior year. It was shortly after she had started to date Artie. Santana had started to spiral and confided in Quinn when we started to fight. She was afraid of who she was and what everyone would think. She was afraid she couldn't take care of me one day and made Quinn swear that no matter what she would be there for me if she couldn't. Quinn had kept that secret for almost a year. Santana hadn't known what was going to happen to her but she worried that she might slip to far onetime. Santana would always look ahead if it involved me, just to make sure I would always be safe. Quinn had promised that she would still be by my side no matter what even if she hadn't made Santana that promise. Quinn loved her just as much as she loved her back. They were family now and that would never change.

She waited for Quinn outside, the crisp Ohio winter air cooling off the heat that still poured out of her from the two hour long practice she had insisted on daily. She stretched as she waited, not wanting her muscles to tense under the cool air and give her cramps later. The parking lot was empty for the school. Across the street people walked down the sidewalk and Brittany felt like she was being watched but the few people she saw about were lost in their own lives, not minding her any business. She twisted around, looking. It wasn't a creepy feeling. It was calming, like she knew she was being protected. That someone was watching out for her. She pulled the strap of her bag up her shoulder and smiled softly. She would occasionally feel this and Quinn assured her it washer best friend still protecting her like she always had before. It comforted her when Quinn wasn't there to do so.

Quinn finally pulled up in the parking lot and Brittany tossed her bag in the backseat of the shiny red Bug. She jumped into the front seat, smile still on her face and buckled in. "How was your practice?" Quinn asked turning towards her.

"She's going to love it, Q. It's really coming together. I think we should start practicing together so I can sync myself to how you sing, not just the beat," She answered.

"All right. So long as your finally ready for me to join you," Quinn turned back to the steering wheel, pausing. She blinked a few times and then shook her head before putting her car into gear. Brittany quickly looked to see what had startled Quinn because she knew the school was empty. Did someone vandalize the place as a joke during the holiday? Quinn began to pull away and Brittany almost shrugged at Quinn's weird behavior when her heart suddenly dropped to her stomach. Someone moved between the buildings, brunette hair curled around her shoulders which were protected from the chill by a well-worn, stylish leather jacket. She couldn't see her skin to tell if it was caramel like she remembered in her dreams.

Quinn pulled closer to that junction between the buildings as she followed the way out of the school parking lot. Brittany looked harder, having only blinked twice to convince herself she hadn't seen things but no one was there. She scared herself, heart beating fiercely in her chest. She knew Santana was looking out for her but that was the first day she imagined seeing her there.

Senior skip day:

The glee club was getting together to go to Six Flags for their senior skip day but Quinn had pulled them both out of that. They were going to practice their routine for Nationals despite that it was already beyond perfect. Then they were going to do some serious shopping at the mall next town over because it offered so much more than their local hole in the wall. Once they'd shopped till they dropped they would stop by Santana's grave before heading back to Quinn's for a marathon and ice cream because it was their girls night which was planned to be a full blown girls day.

They'd finished practicing and had made the trip to the neighboring mall. Quinn was already carrying a bag filled with clothes. Brittany had yet to see anything she was interested in buying. "Thought about college anymore?" Quinn asked. It was getting close to graduation and Quinn had already been accepted into a number of schools, Yale being one of them. Quinn refused to make up her mind until Brittany did. Only problem was she couldn't make up her mind. School was hard enough, she was barely passing as it was. No one had taught her better than Santana and Quinn tried, really hard but some subjects were just out of her grasp. If she could barely graduate high school how was she going to fair in college? All she really wanted to do was dance. It was the only thing she could see herself doing, the only thing she still had a passion for. Even if she went to school to dance, whatever it would that she could do with that kind of degree, she still had basics she had to take.

"I don't know Q. I just don't think college is for me. School never has been," She shrugged and pulled Quinn over to the pretzel stand.

"I know that better than anyone B. Is there something you see yourself doing?" Quinn asked. They ordered their food and Quinn led them over to a bench so they could sit and eat, while also people watching. Looking into the crowds had become a habit for Brittany. Seeing what people did when they thought no one was watching,well, it was fascinating and Quinn humored her by putting out horrid outfits or cracking jokes by some of the movements people made. It never occurred to either of them that they always were both looking for a familiar face, one they shouldn't be seeing anymore.

"I love dancing. I could see myself teaching it one day but I don't know. I just can't stay here anymore. I keep looking for her face everywhere. I drive by her parents' house and I hate how empty it is with that stupid for sale sign out front. I almost expect to see her tumble through my window when it storms because she knows how much I hate thunder and every time the branch brushes against the glass, I think its her asking me to let her in. I just need to getaway," Brittany was surprised she'd kept the tears back but she knew Quinn would understand. She didn't have a plan for her future but she did have a plan for after graduation. She was leaving Lima, Ohio and going where ever.

"I know. I thought I saw her once and it took me weeks to convince myself that I hadn't. I can't imagine how your dealing with it. I don't know if I could be as brave or strong as you if I lost my soul mate," Quinn tore a chunk of her pretzel and popped it into her mouth.

"You really think that?" Brittany asked, taken aback. She'd convinced herself that it was true and if Quinn believed it, that just made the heartbreak even worse, "That she was my soul mate?"

"Anyone who knew that you were more than friends could see that. Why do you think Coach Sue has been in your corner the most? Sure, she understands our pain by losing her but she knows the devastation you feel because it goes deeper than her bond with her sister. They were family, and you two were...perfect and more than just family for each other. San always understood what you were trying to say and you could always calm her down, despite what might have happened. She would try and hate the world but she couldn't because the world gave her you and you loved her with everything you had. You two would have gotten past your hiccup and if she was still here you would be together, planning your future together. It sucks that she's not and I don't know how you handle that every day," Quinn stopped speaking, pulling Brittany into a tight hug. They sat there for minutes, their snack forgotten and now cold.

"I've only survived because I've had you. I don't care what I do with myself after graduation, just please take me with you. Please?" Brittany pleaded. She couldn't face the thought of not having Quinn by her side in just a few months' time.

"Well then,I guess were going to New York. I got accepted into NYU and my dad has agreed to get me an apartment so I don't have to live on campus. So you're coming with me and we'll be roommates and if you change your mind about college, Julliard is right there," Quinn already had her plan for them if Brittany asked to come with her. She had thought about Yale but she had a promise to keep and she would no matter what. Besides New York would be perfect for them both and with Nationals there this year, they could scoop out the city and really start to make plans. It would be perfect to get Brittany's mind off of the coming events, one being the Prom they were both going to skip.

Brittany stiffened against Quinn, having seen caramel skin and dark hair in the crowd across the

food mart. She didn't see her face, but that person reminded her so much of Santana. They walked away from her and Brittany almost jumped to her feet to chase after but she couldn't give into her mind's delusion. If she always chased after shadows she would never start moving forward.

"You okay,B?" Quinn asked, pulling out of the hug and looking around. Quinn didn't tense like she had back in the car when they both thought they'd seen her.

"I just want to go. Not just home, but out of Lima. I'm ready to graduate already," Brittany answered and Quinn nodded once in agreement.

Nationals New York:

She was excited. Despite everything, it was hard not to be. They had made it to New York for Nationals. Some were surprised but she wasn't. She knew they were going to get here. So did Quinn and after all the hard work they had put into their solo/dance number, they knew they were going to make everyone proud.

They had arrived yesterday and after the plane ride most everyone was exhausted but that didn't stop her and Quinn from going and practicing their number. The Glee club hadn't seen it yet and Mr. Schue was anxious about that. Coach Sue had assured them that out of all the numbers ours would be the best. She was glad they hadn't seen it yet. She didn't need Rachel giving Quinn tips and she didn't need any of the rest of the group commenting on her dance moves. They had worked on this all year and they were ready.

Quinn kidnapped her the next morning and dragged them to some apartments near NYU. Seeing where they were going to live, it was exciting. Quinn's parents had already rented the place and had given Quinn the key for when they were here for Nationals. They spent most of the morning just sitting in the empty apartment planning where they were going to put furniture, and who got which bedroom.

Quinn leaned back on her hands, legs folded in front of her, "You ready for this B?"

Brittany shuffled, looking around and imaging how life would be like here. She didn't think anything would remind her of Santana. When they were here last year, they had barely left the hotel and when they did San had been with another group of girls. If anything would remind her of them, it would be performing tomorrow afternoon and then she would be saying goodbye.

"I can't wait Q. I'm ready for this. I'm ready to start healing," Brittany answered, she twisted her fingers in one hand. Quinn sat forward and took both of her hands in hers.

"Tomorrow,B. We'll start healing tomorrow. She'll love it. Everyone will. And when we win, we'll be winning for her," Quinn said.

"She would be proud. She'll also be happy we don't let Rachel anywhere near Finn. She would flip if we let that disaster happen again," Brittany joked.

"I could see her now, COSAS MALAS!," Quinn broke out into a fit of laughter and Brittany joined her. It took them a few minutes to realize they had talked about San without breaking out into tears or being sad. Perhaps they had already started to heal.

The next day came quicker than anyone was prepared for. Well, everyone that wasn't Quinn and Brittany. They all dressed in their competition dresses, Black with red trimming, tights underneath so Brittany could dance without flashing everyone. Choirs were already performing and they had watched a few but Quinn had pulled her out back into the lobby during one intermission. Quinn was nervous. Thousands of people had shown up, just like last year and this was the first time Quinn would have a solo.

Rachel joined them when it was getting time to gather everyone in the green room, "Are you ladies ready? Everyone is heading towards the green room."

Quinn looked at Brittany with wide eyes. Brittany grabbed her hands and followed Rachel. They were ready. She knew Quinn was going to nail this song and she couldn't be more confident in her dance. It was time, after a year of practice, it was finally time.

They joined the prayer circle, wished everyone good luck and watched the boys do their opening number. Brittany's palms were clammy and Quinn's foot twitched nervously. As the boys finished, Quinn pulled Brittany into a tight hug. "For San," Quinn whispered. Brittany nodded, already feeling the tears gather in the corner of her eyes. The stage fell into darkness as the boys shuffled off,giving each other high fives.

Brittany went to the center of the stage and got into her starting pose. She saw Quinn step forward where the mic stand was and then the music began. The piano began and so did Brittany. She twisted and fell with the beat and then shifted to shadow Quinn's voice. Everyone was silent, captivated by the beauty of Brittany's dance and the sorrow in Quinn's voice. When the rest of the band began to play, Brittany's move became more intense. Every touch, every caress,every tear it was all left on that stage for everyone to see.

As the last beat faded out, Brittany stayed in her final pose; head bowed, arms tucked into her chest gripping at her heart. Quinn gripped the mic in her hands, head bowed as well. There was a second of silence before the deafening roar of applause.

The mic stand was pulled of the stage and Quinn was given a portable mic to sing the next song with. When Brittany joined the group with their backs to the crowd,Puck pulled her into a quick and tight hug. She saw the tear tracks on his cheeks and looking closer she saw it on most of the groups. "I'm so sorry,Brittany. So sorry," Puck whispered before Finn shot him a look to get back in place. Brittany gave him a small smile and nodded once and then Quinn was by her side and they were starting their final number.

They all gathered on stage. They were one of the top three and now were just waiting to hear what their final placing was. Quinn gripped Brittany's hand, "Even if we didn't come in first, we still accomplished what we promised to do today."Brittany nodded, no words left in her since before her dance. She'd said all that she needed to today. Puck took up her other side, and they waited patiently, hands sweaty in nervousness.

Brittany closed her eyes and breathed deep. Soon all she could hear was the rushing of blood through her head. The day had come, and it was over. All her hard work and practicing and she finally got to say goodbye. What would San have thought of their performance? Would she have been proud? She would have been impressed. San always loved her dancing and she always loved Quinns voice. She might not have commented much on Quinns talent but Brittany knew. Santana had her secrets but not on those two things. Never on how proud she was of her friends. No, she knew that Santana would have been over the moon with their performance and she really wished she could pull San into her arms and spin her around on stage. Sure, she was sad that Santana wasn't here but she was happy because she was finally able to say goodbye the way she wanted too.

Her thoughts were silenced for the remainder of the evening. They won! First place and that burst of happiness drowned everything out. Not only did they make San proud butall of Ohio as well. She was happy. Truly happy for the first time in over a year. In that moment, she was grateful Quinn and Coach Sue didn't let her quit. That they didn't let her give up.

Graduation:

Brittany made it! It wasn't easy to get to this moment. For most of the year she was afraid that she wouldn't be able to pass. She'd always had trouble focusing in class or just understanding what the teachers were trying to tell her. Quinn had worked so hard with her and now that they were in their cap and gowns, diplomas in hand, and ready to head to New York.

Brittany had everything packed and ready to go. Quinn promised they would drive out tomorrow and enjoy the road trip on the way. A summer adventure she'd called it. Brittany couldn't wait. Since their Nationals win it felt like a weight had been lifted from her shoulders. Like she could finally move forward and leave Lima behind for good. There was nothing left for her here save for her parents and her little sister but they were sending her off with smiles and heartfelt hugs.

Puck pulled her aside after they had left the stage and were meeting up with their families and friends. "I just need to tell you something before we never see each other again. Please just hear me out because it's taken all year for me to find the courage to say this to you." Brittany was silent and waited to hear what he needed to say. She had a feeling he didn't need to just say it for her.

"I am so sorry. I never should have introduced her to those people. I should have never taken her there. I feel like this is my fault. That my actions led to her getting murdered. If she hadn't have known about that place she wouldn't have been there that day. You would still have her and I know you would have worked everything out. She belonged to you and everything I ever did was get in the way of that until I ultimately kept her away from you," Puck finished with tears and Brittany pulled him into a tight hug.

"Don't blame yourself, Puck. The only person to blame is the guy who stabbed her and he got justice. San wouldn't want you to blame yourself either. As much as I wish she was here, she's not. I miss her everyday but I know she's looking out for me. I can feel her keeping an eye on me. We all just need to heal and for you to start is by stop believing that you are at fault," Brittany pulled back from the hug and looked Puck in the eye.

He chuckled and quickly wiped his tears away, "I just needed to tell you how I felt, not turn into a wet mess. You really don't blame me?"

"Not for one second," Brittany answered with a smile.

"Damn, girl. When did you become the wise Yoda?" Puck joked. Brittany answered with a shrug and they hugged once more. They parted ways and Brittany found herself with her family and then with Quinn. Their families joined together to celebrate and only parted to get some sleep before the start of their road trip in the morning.

Quinn picked her up in her SUV, half full with boxes. It didn't take long to load Brittany's boxes. The apartment was already furnished so all they were taking were photos,clothes, books, stuffed animals, and their hopes and dreams. With Lima officially in their rear view mirror it felt as if Brittany was finally moving forward and leaving all the sadness that had been suffocating her behind.

**Please drop a review. I love hearing all of your thoughts. **

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	4. Chapter 4: New York and a date

_This was the city everyone came to make their dreams come true. She came just to survive, wishing she still had a dream. Maybe, one day, she would dream again._

New York. It was beautiful and so crowded. Brittany loved it for both of those reasons. She could get swept up in the tides that flowed down each street and spend the entire day just exploring. Granted, a few times she needed Quinn to help her get back to the apartment but they had been living here for a year now. She was starting to know her way around.

It was luck she had gotten the job that she did. One day she'd gotten lost and decided to ride the subway till she made it back to her corner of the city. Except she hadn't ridden with Quinn yet to know her exit. A guy sitting across from her picked up on her worried nerves. She'd never shied away from conversation before so she answered all his questions. When she told Quinn she had gotten quite the lecture on trusting strangers but he had gotten her back to her building in one piece.

A few weeks after that, Brittany had run into him again except this time at the bar he owned. Quinn took her out to dance to enjoy the last few days before she would begin her first semester at NYU. She promised to still spend quality time with Brittany but she couldn't promise what they would be doing and Quinn didn't trust the city enough to let Brittany go dancing alone.

Julian, her new-found friend, owned the bar and had been looking for a bartender. One that was hot and would bring in a lot more business. When he saw Brittany on the dance floor and learned that she was over 18 and legally able to serve alcohol in New York, he offered her the job. It took some time to convince Quinn that it would be a good thing for. She needed something to keep her mind off things and keep her busy since she wasn't going to school and with the income she could help with rent and groceries. Quinn's dad was taking care of most of the finances fort hem but Brittany had never wanted to be a free loader. She just wanted to get out of Lima.

Quinn finally accepted but only after getting written promises from Julian and his business partner Rick that they would make sure Brittany was on a cab safely home each night she worked and that Quinn was called and informed when Brittany was on her way home. With those demands that thought that Quinn was either her sister or her girlfriend but Brittany just told them she was family and that Quinn would rip them apart if they didn't just do what she asked. More like demanded but Brittany loved that someone was still watching out for her.

Transitioning to New York wasn't as hard as they thought it would be. The apartment was great, small but everything they would need. They each had their own room and enough space in the living/dining room. Quinn couldn't cook so Brittany was forced to survive off of fast food or street venders and their neighbors were super nice. One of them on the third floor had a huge crush on Quinn but Quinn wasn't looking for romance. She just wanted to pass all of her classes. College was a big deal and Brittany was going to stay out of Quinn's way while she studied.

When the semester started for Quinn, Brittany took as many shifts at the bar that she could get. It left the apartment quiet for Quinn to study and it kept Brittany busy, to where she never had time to dwell on memories, only thinking of the present day and the future. Plus, she made a lot of money. She was a natural flirt and some nights she would come home with as many numbers as she would tips. But she didn't want to date. Not because of the same reason Quinn gave but because she already found her soul mate and you only got one of those.

Quinn rolled her eyes. She was having lunch at the bar while Britt was working. Brittany was pulling a double today to help out one of her co-workers. Quinn had given her a ride to the bar and stopped to grab one of their famous steak subs.

Rick was Julian's business partner and currently trying to get Quinn to go out with him. He was tall and pale with gelled hair up into tiny spikes. It looked like he'd just stepped out of the shower and forced his hair straight up. Then there was his hooked noise and pointed eyes. She really didn't know what his background was but it definitely wasn't getting a date with her. Not only did she not like his hair but the lack of wit and personality he possessed as well. He really, simply got on her nerves but he was persistent.

"So, I hear you are a closeted bad girl," Rick leaned against her table, crossing his feet at the ankles.

"Excuse me?" Quinn didn't know if that was a sexual insult or just plain rude.

"Brittany told me you used to have pink hair for a few months. That's hot," Rick smirked.

Quinn rolled her eyes once more,"Just because I dyed my hair, doesn't mean I'm a freak or into you and your freakishness."

"Awe, you say that now babe but I'll change your mind," Rick grinned now before chuckling. "So why did you dye your hair?"

"I wanted to join one of the sororities. Well, more like my mother wanted me to. One of the things they made us do was dye our hair. Figured I could pull the pink off better than the lime green," She answered before turning back to her paperback novel. Perhaps if she ignored him he would finally disappear.

"That's still hot. So, let me take you out. I promise you a good time," Rick stayed and continued to annoy her.

Brittany finally got a second to come check on Quinn and noticed how annoyed she appeared and then seeing Rick in her personal space. She chuckled. Rick wasn't a bad guy, he just came off a little strong. Rick had been after her for a while but she'd told him she was already in love and unavailable. Then he turned his sights to Quinn. Brittany headed over to collect her empty plate and get her a refill on her diet coke.

"Rick, still chasing dead ends,"Brittany joked.

"If she'd only give me a chance. I'm not a horrible human being," Rick shot out his bottom lip into a pout and Brittany didn't hold back her laugh.

"He's like the New York version of Puck. You liked Puck," Brittany tossed out.

"And we all know how well that ended up," Quinn shot back, not lifting her gaze from her book.

"Fine. Just go out with me once and if you don't have fun I'll give up. You have my word," Rick promised.

Rick was good for his word. He'd been the one to make the promise to Quinn to see Brittany safely in a cab at the end of every shift and that Quinn got called. He hadn't missed once during the year and a half that she'd worked here.

Quinn set down her book and looked him in the eye. "Fine," She sighed, "But I better have fun even if I don't like you."

"Deal. I promise to please your inner bad girl," Rick lit up like a Christmas tree. With a confirmed date he strutted to the back.

"You didn't have to agree to go,"Brittany said, still holding her dirty plate and glass.

Quinn shrugged, "I've been wanting to go out and you're always working. I need a break from studying and despite the fact that I can't stand him, he's really not that bad of a guy. We'll go out and he'll give up when I tell him no to a second date."

"If you say so," Brittany grinned and headed to drop off the dish and get a refill for her.

Thursday night finally came. There wasn't any classes on Friday so it was really the only night Quinn went out to do anything. The weekend nights were when Brittany worked the most so Quinn would go to the coffee shop across the street and work on homework while keeping an eye out on the place. Brittany didn't know that, nor would Quinn ever tell her. She had made a promise and she was going to keep it till the end.

Despite keeping an eye on the bar,Quinn would still head back to the apartment long before Brittany got off. Britt would stay and close the bar down so sometimes she wouldn't make it back home till nearly five in the morning. Quinn worked in a retail store on the weekend during the days so she had to get some sleep. But she still woke up when Brittany called and said she was heading home and since it was only a ten minute cab ride she'd stay awake till she heard the front door and Brittany heading to bed. Then she'd pass back out till she had to get up to work.

It wasn't easy going to school full time, watching out for Britt, and working but she still managed to make the Dean's list every semester, keep Brittany safe, and afford nice things for their apartment. Despite the tragedy that happened Junior year, life was good for them. Everything had balanced out and if she could only convince Britt to go to college then things would be better. She just wanted Britt to realize her dream of dance again or any dream really. But Britt was happy working in the bar and her bosses were good guys.

Speaking of good guys, Rick would be there any minute. Quinn checked herself in the mirror once more. Her short hair was swept out in the back, her makeup was flawless and her tight jeans and blouse hugged everything perfectly. Brittany had talked her out of the dress saying it would only spur Rick on more. Something about 'easy access' and she wanted to shut that down out of the gate so tight jeans it was because they were harder to get her out of.

"You look great, Q. He's going to love it and you," Brittany said. It was a rare night off for her so she leaned against the kitchen counter in sweats and a wife beater. She held a bowl of lucky charms and munched happily away at them.

"Are you sure I'm going to enjoy this?" Quinn asked grabbing her purse and double checking it's contents. She had her wallet, phone, and mace. She was good to go.

"He did say he was going to take you someplace to appeal to your inner bad girl. I don't really know what he meant," Brittany confessed with a shrug.

"I swear if I get raped or murdered tonight because of your boss I"m going to haunt your ass," Quinn threatened. When she realized her words her entire body froze. She turned around and Brittany just starred at her.

Brittany finally blinked before setting her bowl in the sink and walking towards Quinn and pulling her into a tight hug, "Your right, you shouldn't go."

At that moment there was a knock on the apartment door. Both girls snapped their heads toward the entrance to their apartment. Brittany pulled back and went to answer the door. Rick stood there with a daisy in his hands. He was dressed in dark jeans, a button down and his favorite leather jacket. His hair was in its usual wet spikes.

"Rick, you know, Britt isn't feeling all that well. I should stay here and take care of her," Quinn didn't even say hello. She was going to make it quick and painless and never make a stupid joke like she did two minutes ago.

"Whoa! I just got here," Rick protested.

"Quinn, it's okay. Call me if you need me. Rick's a good guy and you'll have fun. You need a night out where you're not worried about me," Brittany said.

"Britt," Quinn started but Brittany pulled her into a loose hug.

"Go have fun and I'll see you when you get home," Britt released her and turned to Rick, "If one hair on her head is hurt, I will find you." Brittany had never threatened anyone before but Quinn knew she had it in her. Quinn smiled softly and Brittany pushed her out the door.

"I promise she'll have fun and come back in one piece," Rick promised.

Rick was true to his word through dinner. He had taken her to a great Italian restaurant hidden away in Little Italy. Apparently he was close friends with the owner and was able to get a reservation in at the last minute. He joked with her and asked her safe questions about Lima, like what her family was like and how was it being a cheerleader. She had a great time joking and laughing through stories about old classmates and evil Sue.

Instead of ordering dessert he knew of place also in Little Italy that had the best chocolate so they paid for dinner and they took a leisure stroll to his next destination on their date. They joked some more and she asked him about his life. He'd lived in New York his entire life, actually being Julian's adoptive brother but no one knew that. Rick had been abandoned by his parents and of course that made her think of Beth but Rick told her it wasn't cause they didn't want him but that they had been taken from him. They'd died in a fire shortly after he was born. Julian's parents had been close friends of his dad's and they took Rick as their own.

Rick's phone went off,interrupting their conversation. He pulled out his phone and looked at the caller ID, "I need to take this, it's one of the waitresses," He explained before answering.

"Amy, how's work?" Rick answered. His smile immediately shifted to a look of worry. He listened for a minute before stepping off the curb and hailing a taxi.

"Did something happen at the bar?"Quinn whispered. Sure, Brittany was off tonight so she wouldn't be in immediate trouble but that was her livelihood and if it was threatened, Quinn still needed to be worried.

Rick shook his head hastily, "Amy,don't worry. I'm on my way now. Tell Nick I'll have his money and be safe till I get there."

A taxi pulled up to the curb just as Rick pocketed his phone, "I'm so sorry Quinn but I have to take care of this. I promised Amy's brother I would look after her."

Quinn stepped to the curb next to him and jumped into the cab with him, "I understand. I ask you to look after Britt and you do a good job of that."

"I'll have the driver drop you off before we go where I need to," Rick said sliding in after her.

"I'm going with. Sounds like you might need help," Quinn said.

"No, Nick is dangerous and he doesn't need to set his sights on you," Rick argued. He looked worried and ran his hand through is hair. She noticed not a spike moved.

"Then send Amy my way while you take care of Nick. I'll stay out of sight and make sure she's okay. It'll be easier for you deal with him if she's not in the way," She argued.

He was silent for a moment before leaning forward and telling the driver their destination. She noticed it wasn't her apartment and she nodded in victory. This was the least she could do to help Rick out after all he'd done to help her with Brittany. She made a mental note to thank Brittany for convincing her, in a roundabout way, to give Rick a chance. Brittany was right, he was a decent guy. One of few.

As the cab driver took them further into back alley roads and into a section of the city she would never find herself going to she had to remind herself that Rick wouldn't take her here unless someone was in trouble. This was one of the areas that if you were caught hanging around in, you were bound to find trouble if you weren't already the trouble yourself.

The cab pulled up to the curb,"Keep the meter running. If one of us is not back in thirty go ahead and go."He gave the cab driver as stack of bills and waited until the driver agreed to stay parked. Quinn followed him out and down the alley to a low lit door. If you didn't know what to look for you wouldn't have found the entrance.

"Stay close and when I signal for you to stay put, please just don't move," Rick advised before knocking on the door.

A slot in the door opened up but only silence greeted them. If you listened carefully you could hear hoots and cheers followed by groans and shouts. A second or two she could hear something breaking and then more shouting.

"I'm here to settle a debt," Rick announced before pulling out a wad of cash from his wallet and waving it around in front of the slot. Quinn frowned, not thinking that was a good idea at all .Immediately the slot slammed closed and then the door opened. Stupid idea or not, it got them in.

The noise was deafening but she was expecting that. The smell, however, caught her off guard. The air was thick with stale beer, sweat, and something coppery. She followed Rick, keeping close to him. He looked back every few seconds as he led her to the thickest of the group.

The area was full of men with very little women spotted throughout the space. Small round table were strewn about with half drank beers, white dust spots, and ashtrays. As they traveled through the hollowed out building she was able to make out what everyone was gathered around.

It was a ring shaped area with chest high wooden walls. Most everyone cheering was on the outside of the ring,money in their hands in the air or beers sloshing around in there bottles. In the center of the ring a male and a female were busy wailing into each other.

Both were clearly bloodied, making it hard to determine facial features at a first glance. Seeing all the blood she realized what that copper smell was. She'd heard about the 'Underground'. A serious street fight operation that NYPD had yet to put a stop to. Either they didn't have any lead, although it was clear this was their main fighting ring,or they didn't care since it kept a number of dangerous people and drunks of the streets for the majority of the night.

Rick signaled for her to wait so she folded her arms around her chest after getting a firm grip on the mace from her purse. The crowd broke around the ring and she watched as the female landed three hard blows to the temple of her staggering opponent. She was quick and precise, having the least amount of cuts on her hands and face. She was hunched over slightly, evidence she'd taken a few hard hits herself.

The man toppled and fell to the ground and the crowd began to count. The female limped to one side and grabbed a mans drink before downing it waiting for the count to finish signaling her win. Quinns view was blocked as a slightly taller than her, jet black haired girl stepped in front of her.

"Quinn?" She asked hesitantly.

"Amy?" Quinn asked in return. Amy nodded and Quinn noticed the bruise forming under her left eye and the dried blood in the corner of her nose and mouth. "Rick will be finished soon so how about I take you to the cab?" Quinn offered, slightly reaching out afraid she might scare the girl. Amy nodded and Quinn began to lead her towards the exit when she froze.

She had to be seeing things. This wasn't possible. She'd gone to the funeral. She'd helped Brittany through the loss and heartbreak. Her path broke from towards the door towards the makeshift bar set up near the fighting ring.

In the brunettes hand was a bottle of Jack Daniels that she was taking large swigs from. She leaned against the bars counter and quickly counted through the wet and dirty bills she'd just won. Quinn didn't want to believe it. Couldn't believe it.

She stood only a few feet away finally seeing the girls full face. She'd almost hoped she was wrong, that her mind had played a cruel trick on her once again. This was real. She was real.

"Santana?" The name left Quinn's lips before she even realized she had the voice to speak.

The brunette looked up in shock,the bottle of Jack banging against the counter, "Holy Shit, Quinn?"

Quinn winced. That was the voice that haunted her dreams some nights. She couldn't believe this was real. There was no way Santana was alive and well, living it up in New York. Quinn took determined steps until she was standing right in front of Santana before reaching out firmly.

The slap echoed between the two of them, no one else aware of their exchange. Santana pulled her head forward,wincing as she wiped away a fresh trail of blood from her already split lip. Seeing that blood, San's wince, and the sting in her palm she knew her mind was fooling her this time.

"Santana?"

**Authors note: Yay! Now you know. Well, you know that San's alive and kicking(literally). I would love to hear everyone's thoughts. Also, please visit me on Tumblr. **

**Also, I would love to hear what you think about Rick. Introducing OC's can be difficult and I sometimes hate reading fics that have a main OC but other fics it just works. For instance fics like Taking the Long Way (which if you haven't read A) kill yourself and B) as if.) ((If you don't know that reference...we need to talk cause your barely living)) Anywho! Just wondering thoughts on OC's. **

**Also, thanks to my beta: missmandamargo. tumblr. com**

**Another also, THANKS! There are so many story alerts/favorites/and comments. I love each and everyone of you. Just wanted to share my appreciation for you dedication. :)**


	5. Chapter 5: Cashing Out

Today just got worse. She was so close to not having to deal with this crap tonight and then some chick had pissed off Steve and she had to fight that guy twice her size. Normally they kept Santana in the chick fights so the guys could get off. More recently she was being set up against the rougher guys. She had a feeling why and it made her stomach twist in painful knots. She had to survive this. The odds just weren't in her favor.

Now, with a stinging lip and cheek; the day was worse. "Quinn, you need to leave now," Santana's voice was low. If anyone else had hit her she would have brought that bottle of Jack Daniels across their temple. She wasn't top dog here, but they knew not to start a fight with her outside of the ring. She wasn't afraid to fight dirty. Little did they know, it was because she wasn't going to give them the chance to pull a weapon first.

Quinn's emotions kept changing. First from shock, to grief, to relief, and now she looked really pissed off. She reminded San of the head cheerleader and the mudslinging they used to do with each other back in high school.

"The hell I'm leaving. Not without you!" Quinn reached forward and grabbed her arm. Santana hissed from pain. Quinns nails were digging painfully into a fresh bruise. Santana really didn't have time for this. If Steve saw the blonde, Santana couldn't protect her. Just like Quinn wasn't going to be able to protect the black hair chick hiding behind her.

"Don't cause a scene. I need you to leave this shit hole before one of those pigs gets an idea. We don't need you getting caught up in this. So go, now," Santana's voice was firm but her eyes were pleading. She didn't want to think of the fact that Brittany was going to learn she is alive from Quinn.

"I'm taking you home. To Brittany," Quinn squeezed her arm tighter and San cursed from the sting. She reached out and gripped Quinn's wrist tightly and twisted till Quinn yelped in pain an released her.

"Go now. Don't ever come back here," Santana ordered.

A tall freak of a man rushed to Quinns side, "I thought I said to head back to the cab. We need to go."

"I can't leave without her!" Quinn persisted.

"Quinn, I can't leave. Not now. I'll come find you," Santana promised. Her gaze shot across the area. A few men had picked up on the commotion and she knew she didn't have long to get them out of there. She looked back at Quinn and took in the look of disbelief.

"Quinn. If you don't leave now your going to get us both killed. I promise I'll come find you," Santana pleaded with a look and then turned leaving the trio where they were. She had to separate herself from them before her '_fight manager_' caught sight of new blood. She was having hard enough time getting herself out of her own mess. She couldn't save Quinn too. She wasn't sure she could save herself. Not after being trapped after these past few years.

She pushed her way through the crowd of hairy, smelly, waste of existence that were cheering on the new fighters. Pigs, all of them. She found a new bottle of Jack Daniels, wiped the rim clean and then took a huge gulp. She winced at the intense burn that warmed her stomach.

She looked back and watched as the guy Quinn was with pull on her arm. She could hear Quinn protesting from across the warehouse. Whoever he was finally gave up and simply picked Quinn up and then pushed Amy towards the door. The guy looked nervously back and she finally remembered him. He'd come here before to bail that Amy chick out of her problems. Now Quinn was added to that. Quinn slammed her fists against Rick's back and tried to up-heave herself from his shoulder. Quinn looked for her and their gaze met. Even this far away she could tell Quinn was about to burst into tears. She could hear Quinn screaming out her name before they disappeared out the alleyway door.

"Sweet cheeks! Get your smoking ass over here!" She visibly shuddered. Her shoulders tensed and her grip nearly shattered the bottle in her hand. She tried so hard to avoid him. To keep him far enough away he couldn't touch her. He kept her trapped here and she yearned to escape. Even if it meant staying dead this time. She downed what she could of the Jack Daniels, trying to get whatever courage she could, even if it was liquid courage.

She rounded the corner and stepped up the stairs to the balcony that overlooked the fighters ring in the middle of the hollowed out warehouse. Steve was the ring leader. He organized, he recruited, he managed, and he kept them all in line. He was fierce, merciless, and terrifying.

"Ah, there she is," Steve stood from the center of drooling barbies he constantly kept himself draped in. It disgusted her and then his greasy, stale beer self pulled her into a tight hug before he swung her around to face his guests. "This is our prize winner. The reason I can treat you all to the goodies you receive."

He slapped her ass and pushed her towards the men who had Cheshire grins and hooded eyes. She could handle the fighting. In fact, the fighting helped her deal with this nightmare of her life. Steve never let them do more than touch. He saved the more scarring moments to himself. She saved the most alcohol for after.

She shut her mind off. It was easier to not process what she went through to survive. She escaped into happy memories. Memories that consisted of a beautiful blonde with striking blue eyes. Granted these memories were pre-Artie. All of her happiness was pre-Artie.

She blinked when Steve wrapped his arms around her, squeezing her ass. Those men were gone. She had managed to stay safely tucked away in her mind till they were done with her. If anything they probably thought she was high like the Barbies. She took one hesitant breath and then she was aware of the hell she was eager to escape with no exit. "So my little sex monkey, who was the blonde I saw you with earlier?" Steve asked.

She tried to keep herself from tensing but it was nearly impossible. She couldn't let Steve know about Quinn or even be curious. Quinn would led him to Brittany and then everything she'd done these past few years would be pointless. She had to protect them.

"Don't know her. Guess she was here trying to play hero with her boy toy. Sucks she doesn't know where he gets his thrills," She shrugged reaching for something to drink.

"That's how we do it. We have the trophy we carry around," He gave her another squeeze, "And we get our fun where the fun is to be had." He nodded towards the Barbies who were all laid out on the large couches. Their skimpy clothing was ripped and tattered and the air around them smelled stale and of heavy sweat. If she didn't know what happened to them she might wish she was still on those drugs.

She sat back, cracked her neck and downed her drink. "Can I cash out now?" She asked. He chuckled and stood from where he was sitting next to her and went to the briefcase he kept hidden underneath his bar. He pulled out an envelope and a zip lock bag filled with large white pills and tossed both to her.

She reached out and grabbed both her ribs screaming in protest from the quick movement. She had enough alcohol in her system to numb the pain but not to ignore it completely. However, her answer was in the bag. She stood and pocketed both items and walked towards the stairs.

"Oh Santana, I never pegged you to have friends. Not since I claimed you," Steve's voice echoed after her. She rushed down the stairs, bypassed the crowd and drunks and slammed through the side door into the alley way. She breathed in the crisp air and rushed around the corner and trying not to break out into a run. It didn't take long before she was rounding the corner to her shitty apartment. She looked up when the odor of soy sauce and fried chicken burned her nostrils. She had hoped that after living here long enough she would become immune to the toxic odor that killed her appetite and ruined her sense of smell.

She entered the alley way next to the Chinese restaurant and trudged her way up the stairs that led to her apartment. She opened the door and stepped inside the crap one room area. She had a queen size mattress on the floor next to the wall. Directly in front of her was the non-existent kitchen. There was a small sink that held dish soap and her toothbrush because it was the only sink her apartment had. To the left was a curtain that blocked off the toilet and the nozzle in the wall and drain that defined her shower.

She ripped off her boots, stripped out of her bloody jeans and tee and collapsed on the mattress that was her bed. She let the day unwind from her body and the pain began to set in. She reached for her pants and pulled out the pills. She'd been fighting the urge to down a handful of them on her brisk walk home.

She pulled out her normal starting amount and knocked them back quickly. It wouldn't take long for the pain to disappear and for her to fall unconscious. On her better days, she hated those white pills. They were what got her in this mess years ago. But today, they were her dinner and would be her breakfast and lunch tomorrow.

She focused on breathing and then the pain was gone. Her vision darkened and then she was swept away into blissful sleep.

When she blinked again she had no clue what time it was nor did she care. She struggled to sit up and winced at the sharp pain in her ribs. She rubbed her eyes, then reached for her pills. She took a few more than went to her sink in the kitchen. She scooped some water into her mouth then brushed her teeth. She winced once the tooth paste hit some open wounds inside her mouth where she must have bit through during her fight last night. She spit and noticed the swirl of pink as it drained.

She stripped from her underwear and headed to her bathroom. She pulled the curtain back and started the shower. The pipes groaned and it took a few minutes till the pressure built enough to get a good stream of luke warm water to push out. She didn't have a mirror to inspect the damage but she was better at just ignoring it. Plus it was easier to do with the pain pills Steve supplied her with.

The warm water wasn't hot enough to satisfy her shower needs. She needed heat to loosen her aching muscles and relieve the pressure between her shoulders. She also needed coffee. And some really good sex but she hadn't had that in years. Sex yes. Good sex, no. Ugh, she had no idea why she was thinking of this.

She ignored the dull throbbing all over her body and she leaned her head against the tiled wall. She watched the dried blood mix with the water and drain away. This sight used to greet her twice, maybe three times a month. Now it was twice a week if she wasn't on Steve's shit list. She was afraid her fears were reality. She was almost done paying Steve back and he was going to have her killed before she was free from him. She needed a plan but she didn't have one.

A smaller, lesser plan that she could take care of today formed in her mind. She knew of a certain blonde that would spend all day at a coffee shop acting as a guardian angel. She knew if she was going to keep Quinn safely away she needed to take care of this today. She also needed to know that Brittany was still healing and moving on after her death. She'd always wished to come back to her but reality was killing her dreams of being with Brittany again. She banged her head against the tiled wall. Who was she kidding? Brittany wouldn't want her. She hadn't wanted her when she'd run off to be with a cripple.

She rubbed her eyes roughly and turned off the now cold shower. She grabbed the towel and softly dried off. She walked into her bedroom/living room/kitchen and dug from some non bloodied clothes to dress in. Just as she finished pulling on her shirt her apartment door opened, "You should really lock your door."

"Why? If someone wanted to get in there's nothing that shit lock can stop. Its also not like I have anything of value," Santana replied before grabbing the small brown bag that her favorite gelled, bow tie wearing, breakfast delivering, secret keeper offered her.

"Speaking of shit, when are you going to decorate? I could help you with that," Blaine once again made that offer. She rolled her eyes. She might have put a photo of her and Brittany up if her parents hadn't gotten rid of them all before she could sneak any of her stuff back.

"Blaine, you know why I'm not," Santana snapped. She pulled out the bagel Blaine brought for her and took a huge chunk out of it. She pulled on her shoes then grabbed her favorite worn leather jacket. She'd had it for years. The only thing she'd been able to keep from her past and only because she had been wearing it that night.

"You always avoid the topic but I think you need to know something," Blaine said. Santana finished off her bagel and grabbed her winnings from last night. She quickly stashed her pain pills and started for the door. Blaine grabbed her around the shoulders and forced her to look at him, "Your still alive."

Blaine dropped his hands and then waved towards the door. Santana walked out, waited for Blaine to join her on the rusted stairs and then locked her shitty apartment up. She really only locked her place up if she had cash or drugs hidden away inside. She'd been robbed once and lost a lot of her money and then Blaine had come to her rescue once again. Now he had an account that he managed for her and she dropped her winnings off the morning after. Now she had a decent savings built up and refused to touch it. Blaine didn't even know what she wanted to do with the money.

They walked out of the alley and joined the crowd on the sidewalks. She looked around a bit and noticed the placement of the sun in the sky. It was nearing five that evening and was practically perfect timing for what she needed to do today. They walked a few blocks till she decided to say something. "Something happened last night," Santana started. Blaine looked over at her then held open the door to the bank for her.

They waited in line after filling out the deposit slip. She hadn't said anything else and Blaine was patiently waiting for her to explain. That was one thing she liked about him. He was understanding and didn't push her for answers or responses. He'd been that way since he found out she was alive. Granted they hadn't known each other before her death but he'd gone to her funeral with Kurt. She hadn't known but only them and Quinn and Brittany had been the only ones at her funeral aside from her parents and her abuela.

The finished with the deposit and Blaine handed her the receipt. She took a quick look at the amount and then shredded the thin paper. $50,095.08. That was the price of her body, her sweat, and her blood. It was only a percentage of her winnings since Steve kept the majority of it. But people gambled thinking a small girl like her couldn't take on the grown men tossed at her. She refused to lose, to give into their expectation that a woman couldn't kick their asses. The more she fought harder the more they tossed money at Steve. With that much in her savings, Steve had been working her had these past two years.

"So any plans with that money yet?" Blaine asked. It was a ploy to get her to restart the topic she'd left into the air.

"I've had a plan for that money and when the time is right I'll let you know. Stop pushing it," She raised her hand at him then started in the direction of a certain coffee shop. "Quinn saw me last night. I'm going to go talk to her," She looked back at him but he didn't act shock or worried or showed any reaction.

"Are you ready for that?" Blaine asked.

She wasn't expecting that question. But she knew the answer. No. She'd stayed in the shadows, paying her debt and dreaming that one day she could become apart of their lives again. She knew it wasn't going to be easy or probable at all. She was dead. They had moved on. It wasn't like she could knock on their door one day and say surprise.

"She knows I'm alive and where to find me. If she goes back there, it'll get us both killed. It doesn't matter if I'm ready for that or not. She has to see me, it was the only way I could get her out of there last night," She explained. Blaine realized where they were going and rushed to stand in front of her.

"I get that. I do. I just want to make sure your up for this. She's going to have questions. Probably more complicated than mine and you wouldn't answer those," Blaine stopped from grabbing her shoulders since she would probably only hit him in response and they were standing in the middle of the sidewalk disrupting the flow of the crowd.

"I don't know but I need to go in there and act like I'm not terrified of whats going to happen," She answered honestly and then pulled her walls up, squared her shoulders and tried her hardest not to glance longingly towards the bar where Brittany would be working.

"I know you dreamed of doing this different. But I'm here to help. I can," He stated. She knew he would be her eyes and ears. He was living with Kurt, their relationship still strong after these past few years. If word got around Kurt would talk and Blaine could keep her informed and help with damage control.

"Thanks slick," She nodded and then walked briskly across the street, dodging the cabs and bikes. Blaine stayed where he was, knowing that he could only help her in the shadows for now.

She approached the coffee shop but stopped before she entered. Quinn was there, just like she suspected. She appreciated Quinn's obsessive protection of Brittany but knew that Brittany probably would get pissed if she found out. Brittany hated it when she would get over protective or possessive. Granted she would counter act herself by telling Brittany she wasn't in love with her and only wanted to have sex. She'd had plenty of time to hate herself and the things she said to Brittany and how she treated her. These past few years she'd had plenty of time to understand her feelings and who she is, what she is. Didn't mean she was going to shot it from the rooftops or act on it. Brittany was the only woman she wanted and would ever want. Plus, she wasn't exactly in any safe place to think about being in a relationship. Not with what she had to do to survive.

She took in Quinn appearance, studying her closely. She hadn't been this close to any of them to really see how they were doing. She'd mostly seen them from across the street or the few times during their senior year. Blaine would keep her updated but Kurt really didn't have any information since neither Brittany or Quinn had any interaction with any glee kids. Quinn looked good, better than the last time she'd seen her. Her blonde hair was short, just brushing her shoulders. She still wore those ridiculous sun dresses but her skin was slightly tanned and it framed her legs perfectly. Quinn was scribbling notes while flipping through a thick large book. Seemed like she was doing her homework.

Santana slipped in with a group of people then approached Quinns table. She took a deep breath, her stomach flipping. She was nervous. Quinn must have sensed her because her tense scribbling stopped and her breath caught. She looked up slowly, eyes wide, "Santana."

"Quinn," She started then waved towards the chair across from her, "Mind if I join you?"

Quinn set her pen down and narrowed her gaze, "You better sit your ass down, S."

**Just want to take a moment to acknowledge those of you who are awesome enough to take the time and review. I love hearing your thoughts/comments. **

**So a few things:**

**Brittana is endgame. I would have it no other way. (We'll see what happens S4 and I may or may not continue to watch. In which case will become my new hotspot)**

**I'm pleased that my writing convinced some of you that she was actually dead and that it was hard reading that sadness. Seems I have the angst part down. (Let's see how I do with smut/fluff)**

**For those of you who knew she was alive or were hoping...well she's alive!**

**I will be revealing what happened to Santana and I have a few different ideas how I can present these moments. I can weave them into conversation but the reveal will be much longer, have moments of flashbacks, or have a chapter that mirrors Brittany's chapter during senior year. Which would you all like to see?**

**For those of you who have swung by my Tumblr. I love you. Please come again. For those of you who haven't you might want to. I'll be posting spoilers, pics that may reflect what's coming up, asks, and much more. I'm on Tumblr a lot seeing as I can with my job. (That's right I'm getting paid and writing fanfic/goofing off online) **

**So I look forward to hearing your thoughts on this chapter. I'll hold off writing the next chapter till I hear what you guys would like to see. **

**www. wigster07 . tumblr. com**


	6. Chapter 6: Coffee and a plan

_People suck. She hates them with every fiber of her being. They don't understand, they don't care and all they do is let you down when you need them the most._

Quinn sipped her coffee that Santana got her. Quinn was a double shot espresso kind of girl where as Santana got a Skim Mocha. "So still drinking the caffeinated hot chocolate?" Quinn asked trying to find something to jump start this intense conversation. Probably wasn't a good idea to bring something up that would connect to another blonde working across the street.

"Just ask the questions you want to and I will attempt to not piss you off by not answering them," Santana shot back. What had she been thinking this morning when she came up with this plan of action? Oh right!Trying to protect Quinn and Brittany by keeping them far away from that side of New York in any view of the future.

"Where have you been?" Quinn asked setting her coffee down and setting her stare on Santana's face. She studied her expressions, wondering if she could still tell if Santana was lying or putting up her defenses.

Santana took a breath, her grip on her 'caffeinated hot chocolate'. She always got this drink when she stopped for coffee and she needed it to survive. She stayed up late and only slept when her body forced her. Not to mention she was always mostly hung over and the drink helped. Those were the reasons she told herself and not the reason that it made her still feel connected to Brittany. "I stayed in Lima until the end of April, Senior year. Then I had to come to New York," She answered and it was honest. She didn't know if it was a false start or if she could really keep her answers honest during this conversation.

Quinn folded her hands together on top of the table and scratched at her knuckles. It was quite for a moment and Santana took another small sip of her drink. Santana let her gaze fall down to her cup and she waited for the next question. She looked back at the bar that one day she hoped she'd have the courage to walk into and make the world spin in the right direction again.

"Does Brittany know you watch over the bar while she works?"Santana asked. Quinn's posture immediately stiffened and she turned back to see the anger in those green eyes. She cocked her head, surprised by Quinn's reaction.

"No. You don't get to ask about her or about me watching out for her. You left her, Santana. You've been alive all this time and you left her," She spoke those last three words with emphasis.

Santana set her cup of coffee down. It didn't take long to get to the issue that Quinn must have been pissed about all night. "I did die," She started then bit her bottom lip while trying to keep her calm. Pain always helped her think and it was necessary to live these days. "My heart had stopped for two minutes before they were able to bring me back. I lost a lot of blood and my body shut down and I didn't wake up till three weeks after my funeral."

Quinn was silent for a moment, "So why not come to us when you woke up?"

That was an important question, one that really needed an honest answer but that answer could put Quinn in trouble and that would just lead to Brittany. She opened her mouth to honestly answer but then couldn't. The words caught in her throat. Telling Blaine had been a struggle and that was after he found her drugged out and left bleeding after Steve had one of his goons toss her into the alleyway. The answers had been right in front of him and he wasn't judging but she still had trouble saying the words.

"Are you in trouble?" Quinn asked. Santana couldn't help the chuckle and shaking of her shoulders. She took another sip of her cooling coffee and gave a slight nod. "I can help" Quinn offered.

"No," She almost left it at that but took a deep breath and continued, "I didn't come back because it would have put Brittany in danger. I made her a promise to keep her safe and protect her from the bad things in this world," She chuckled again out of the harsh reality of her next statement,"Unfortunately, I'm the trouble." Quinn stayed quiet and Santana could tell how difficult that was.

"Are you in still in love with her?" Quinn asked. That caught Santana off guard. It took Santana almost a year after being stabbed for her to figure out her feelings and what was going on with herself. How could Quinn ask if she was '_still_' in love with Brittany? Of course she was. Why else would she have stayed in Lima when she found out no one came to her funeral or that anyone hadn't cared. She'd been angry about that. It's how she got further caught up in this mess.

"It's okay to tell me. I had an idea about it when you two weren't as close once she started dating Artie. I had a better idea when she defended you after you stormed out that day in Glee. Then I was positive when I was there for her while she was grieving for you," Quinn explained. It didn't help that sudden anxious feeling she got when someone else blatantly commented on her deepest feeling.

"What happened with you?" Quinn asked. Santana tapped at her empty coffee cup but it wasn't because she wanted more to drink. Her fingers tapped from nerves as she was suddenly swept up in the memory. The pain, the burning, the fear; it crippled her all over again. She hated that memory and most of the ones that followed. The only memories she ever really wanted to be swept up in involved a quirky blonde before stubble's mc-cripple pants wheeled his way into the picture.

"I've been madly in love with Brittany since middle school. I only figured that out after it was too late to tell her. I pushed her into Arties' waiting arms. I didn't just push away the girl I'm love with, but I lost my best friend too. Puck introduced me to a new method of anger management to replace the angry sex we used to have before he got caught up on the white rhino. That night I went into that warehouse already drugged out of my mind. I wasn't thinking when I pissed that junkie off," She answered. She shook her head and snapped out of her haze. She cursed under her breath and instead of tapping against the empty coffee cup, she crushed it in her palm. She'd said too much. Quinn didn't need to know, no one needed to know.

Quinn saw Santana close back up in on herself and knew she wouldn't get that many more answers out of her. Instead of focusing on questions she just needed to approach the topic she'd been building up. "I'm mad at you. No, not just mad. I'm really, really _pissed_ off at you. I want you to stay away from Brittany. She's finally moved on. She's healing and learning to live again without you. I don't have to wake in the middle of the night to comfort her when she's crying so hard she can't breathe. I also don't have to worry about making sure that she's eating so she doesn't get weak. Nor do I have to force her to leave her bed and get some sunlight," She finished her rant and stood, gathering her books and putting them in her messenger bag. Santana didn't move, only blinking down at her crumbled remains of a coffee cup. Quinn headed towards the door then turned back to her.

Santana looked up at Quinn. Her gaze was blank, emotionless and Quinn knew that she'd shut down "Besides how pissed I am, I can't keep this from Brittany. You two are soul mates and she will never be whole again without you. I'd prayed that she'd at least find some peace without you but here you are, alive. So are you going to tell her, or am I?" Quinn asked.

Santana blinked in shock. "Wh-what? I can't tell her," She stuttered.

"Your alive. She needs to know. If you're not willing to tell her, I won't hesitate to do it myself," Quinn threatened.

Santana stood and threw away her trash. She led Quinn outside of the coffee shop and looked towards the bar. She desperately wanted to run across the street, burst through those doors and pull Brittany into the tightest hug and promise to never leave her again. But that was a promise she couldn't make. Not till her business with Steve was settled. Not till she had her freedom back.

"Not yet. It's going to be a shock and I don't know how she'll react. I need to be in a safe place myself before I can even," She stopped. She didn't know how to explain.

"What trouble are you in? And don't think about lying to me or downplaying it," Quinn snapped.

Santana froze again then she snapped out of it. She needed to be honest so she could keep this blunt and to the point, "I owe someone and I've been doing what I can to pay it back. It means doing things that no one understands. I can't..." She paused. Quinn reached out and grabbed her shoulder. "I can't be 'alive' right now, Quinn. I can't taint her with this. I can't explain. So please don't tell her I'm alive until it's safe for me to do that." Santana wasn't above begging on this request. Brittany was everything innocent and good in this miserable sticking world and she would only ruin that.

She looked back at the bar and shoved her hands in her pockets, squeezing her fists in a desperate attempt to maintain control of herself. This had become a habit for her over the previous months. Countless times she'd wanted to put Steve in his place or just knock him down a step or two. But if she hit him he wouldn't hesitate to slip a knife between her ribs. She'd survived it once and it wasn't pleasant.

"I'm not keeping this from her. I promised to take care of her. I made that promise to you and part of that is not lying to her," Quinn wasn't backing down and despite how annoying it was at this moment she had a huge level of respect for Quinn now.

She was quiet a moment, still staring off towards the bar. Her heart was aching. She rubbed at her chest before she realized what she was doing. She could take all the pain pills Steve could supply her with but nothing would alleviate the pain inside her. Some nights she would be numb,could be set on fire and not feel the flames but nothing could stop her from feeling that crushing weight inside her chest. She would curl up into a ball and cry, wishing that Steve had never saved her life.

"I'll tell her. Just please give me time to let my face heal. Seeing me is going to be shock enough. Can we at least keep my extracurricular activities a secret?" Santana asked.

"You should look better after a few days. Brittany gets Thursday's off. I expect you at the apartment before or by six P.M," Quinn stated then she started down the sidewalk. She stopped and turned around, "And since you know where she works and that I do my homework at this coffee shop, I'm going to assume you know where we live and believe me I will have words for you about that later." Then Quinn was gone, brushing her way through the crowd.

Santana rubbed her forehead and looked back at the bar. She could literally just walk over there and fix all of this but her feet wouldn't move. She had a week. One week to fix the mess of her life so she wouldn't put Quinn and Brittany in jeopardy. She needed to figure out her plan and she always thought better when she was training. She turned and headed back towards her apartment. As she crossed the street she noticed Blaine was still hanging around waiting on her.

As she passed him, he stepped up next to her and kept up with her pace, "How was it?" He asked.

"She's pissed. Wants me to tell Brittany," She answered.

"She has every right to be pissed and you should tell Brittany," He replied, slipping his hands into his jacket pockets.

She rolled her eyes. She was hoping he had given up on trying to convince her to come out of her grave but she had refused every time which is why she wasn't surprised by his misstep when she said she agreed.

"So what's the plan?" Blaine asked.

"Where going to figure that out and I have a feeling I'm going to need your help, Dr. Boy," She said rounding a corner and leading Blaine to the warehouse near her apartment. She had bought it from the Chinese restaurant owner after her first big paying fight. She needed a place to train and a place where Blaine could stitch her up. He was in med school and needed practice so she'd offered up her wounded body a few times. So when he reluctantly agreed she'd set up a large section of the warehouse for medical supplies and an x-ray machine along with whatever Blaine requested to be able to patch her back up. Granted, it was highly illegal but it wasn't the worst thing she was caught up in.

She opened the door and led them in, flipping on the huge overhead lights. The training section wasn't as brightly lit as opposed to Blaine's section which always felt like she was sitting under the sun. She tossed her jacket over the worn leather couch near the fridge and flat screen she'd set up. If she wasn't about business most of the time this would be the perfect hangout spot. She spent most of her time here but slept in the run down piece of shit she called an apartment.

She started for the punching bag and free weights but Blaine grabbed her arm and pushed her towards the metal slab. He stripped out of his own jacket, washed his hands the pulled on latex gloves before grabbing the supplies he normally needed.

She sat on the cold metal and pulled her shirt over her head. They'd been through this enough times they both knew what to expect. He rolled up in front of her, his metal tray rolling with him. He started with the cut on her lip and worked his way around to the cut under her eye. She didn't feel anything as he poked and probed his way around. She was still high off the painkillers she'd taken when she'd woken up so she was pleasantly numb.

He worked his way down to a particularly bad cut on her left shoulder and then managed to get a response out of her when he shoved particularly hard on a cracked rib. "You keep pushing yourself and your going to end up breaking something vital," Blaine repeated himself just like every time as he pulled off his gloves and disposed of the used materials.

"Whatever. You get the practice and I avoid the real doctors," She pulled her shirt back on then jumped down from the metal slab. She caught Blaine's eye roll which she was certain he learned from her. After all, she was the master of it.

She headed over to her corner of the area and began to wrap her knuckles. Blaine worked on cleaning up and putting away what supplies he didn't use. Once he was done he came to stand behind the punching bag and gave her pointers on some of her movements as she began to work up a sweat.

She'd been surprised to find that he used to participate in a fight club back at Dalton. He was so anti-bully but he knew how to kick ass himself. He'd been upset with her fighting in alleyways and rundown warehouses but he'd also taught her how to put more force behind her punches. She would have never thought she'd become good friends with him but they someone managed it. Despite her efforts to stay away from any sort of relationship even acquaintances, he'd managed to worm his way into her life and kept an eye out on her. Not to mention he was an equal part of her old Lima life.

"Figured out your plan yet?" Blaine asked.

"Remember when you picked me up in that rotten infested back ally?" She asked, laying a quick one two combo. Blaine took a careful step back before pushing his weight back against the hundred pound bag.

"Yeah. You were so close to dying I didn't know if you were going to make it," He was quiet as she landed a few solid hits. "For a while there you weren't."

"I plan on a repeat performance. If I hadn't gone back Steve would have thought I was dead. I could have been free from this. He's gotten me killed once and almost dead a second time. Why not tempt fate again?" She asked before setting into the punching bag with a few more heavy punches.

"Because it's tempting fate! What if I can't save you? You'll really be dead this time and then what when Quinn tells Brittany that you were actually alive but got yourself really killed? This is insane!" Blaine stepped back from the bag and threw his fist up in the air.

She pushed some hair back out of her face where it had fallen out of her ponytail. "I can't bring anyone else into this mess. Steve is planning on killing me when I'm caught up on his dept. I can manipulate this in my favor and then everyone can stay safe. We have to at least try," She explained.

"This is absurd. I haven't graduated from med school. I'm not a real doctor. There are some things I don't know how to repair. I could barely keep you heart beating last time," Blaine ran a hand through over gelled hair.

"I'm dead either way. At least this has a better chance then Steve cutting my throat during one of his sexcapades," Santana defended.

"And if I can't save you?" Blaine asked.

"Then I leave you instructions on what to do with all that money in the bank," Santana answered. She went back to punching the bag and finally Blaine took his place behind it.

"I'm not okay with this. I understand why, I do. I'm just stating that I'm not okay with it," Blaine made his final comment and Santana went back to her training. Blaine would help her. She trusted him, now it was a matter of actually surviving her suicide plan. She'd 'die' again and then she would go see Brittany and hopefully heal her broken heart. It was a long shot but she needed to take care of this. She needed to be free.

**Authors note: Thank you all to have left reviews. Some of you have left some lengthy ones and wow...I really appreciate it. Also votes seemed to go both ways so I'm going to write both ways. During San's POV we'll see her reflect. Then some flashbacks here and there and I will write the chapter that is mirror to Britt's senior chapter but from San's POV. So expect it all. **

**I love all of you who read (even those who don't review). Thank you for all the alerts and I hope this chapter was equally as pleasurable to you readers. Drop a review and let me know your thoughts. **

**Wigster07. Tumblr. com (Come be my friend.)**


	7. Chapter 7: Wasn't expecting this

_Sometimes we just don't know what to expect._

Quinn collapsed on the couch. Her Sunday was finally winding down. She hadn't been able to fall back asleep when Brittany came home from her late shift and so by the time she'd headed to work she'd already had a pot of coffee just to herself. Then of course work was crazy. It seemed every bitch mom and her child were shopping and she couldn't find anything to please them. Some days like today she really wished she was done with her diploma and finally working a desk job where she wouldn't have to work with so many jerks.

She rubbed her eyes and kicked off her shoes. She thought about reaching for the TV remote but then figured she might actually die from exhaustion if she moved one inch. She rolled her head back and to the side and then noticed the duffel bag sitting by the door. Considering how close it was to where she'd stumbled in she's surprised she just didn't trip over it.

"Hey Q. How was work?" Brittany asked bounding into the living room and tossing a light weight jacket down on the duffel bag.

"It was craptastic," She sighed and then waved towards the bag, "You going somewhere Britt?"

Brittany looked at her stuff and then back at Quinn. Her smile fell somewhat and then she shrugged, "I had to take my vacation time or I'd lose it so I'm heading to Lima for a few days. Mom and Dad are missing me."

"Oh," Quinn responded.

"I thought you would like not having to sit over at the coffee shop for a few days and actually get some decent sleep," Brittany said. Quinn's eyes shot open in surprise. Brittany wasn't supposed to know she kept watch over her.

"I...I'm just..."Quinn started to defend her actions.

"You should really stop worrying about me Q. I'm not going to break anymore," Brittany cut her off while walking over to the couch and plopping down next to her. "I know I was scary there for a while but life is good for me. I just really wish you would make life good for you."

"Life is good," Quinn said, shifting to still be able to look at Brittany.

"Is it really? You sit at the coffee shop all day watching out for me like some caped superhero. Oh! You're Batwoman!" Brittany exclaimed, exciting herself and then chuckling.

Quinn laughed along with her, "Britt, I just want to make sure nothing happens to you. Is that so wrong?"

"When it's putting your own life on hold, definitely. I wouldn't have hurt feelings if you made friends from school and hung out with them. My life isn't that interesting for you to be watching it all day," Brittany explained.

"I don't mind really," Quinn said waving her hand in dismissal.

"What if I mind? I feel like you're trying so hard to make sure I enjoy life that your forgetting to live your own. We promised to take care of each other. Not just me," Brittany said.

Quinn sighed and pinched the bridge of her nose. Brittany was right. She spent every day watching over her and she'd brushed off classmates to do it. They'd lived in New York for a year and a half now and the only time she'd gone out without Brittany was when she went on the date with Rick the other night. That brought up a lot of anxiety just thinking about the surprise that brought her. She bottled that thought up quickly, knowing she'd have to panic about it and over think it after Brittany left. But for this subject Brittany was right. Britt could take care of herself. She'd made plenty in tips to make rent and never once came home complaining about her job or people mistreating her. She hadn't called Quinn in almost a year needed help for anything. In fact, Quinn had gone to her a few times herself in need of help. Brittany was a quiet genius that most people just didn't understand.

"I'm sorry Brittany. I'll stop hanging around the bar when you're working," Quinn promised. She wasn't surprised at all that Brittany even knew she'd been keeping a watchful eye on her job while she was working. Brittany was just good at reading people.

"Sweet. Now, wanna tell me what you're so anxious about?" Brittany asked while patting Quinn on the knee in comfort.

Quinn closed her eyes. She'd tried to keep her cool since her run in with Santana at the coffee shop the other day. She didn't want to spring the information on Brittany, but how the hell do you tell someone their dead soul mate isn't really so dead after all and is stopping by for dinner in a few days? She had no idea how to tell Brittany. She was going to leave that up to Santana but she didn't think her just showing up at the door would bode well for Brittany. It was just one big mess. Why couldn't Santana just have told them back before so much time had passed?

"It's nothing Britt. Just a big test coming up," Quinn lied. She felt like a horrible human being for doing so but she just didn't know what to say.

"Oh, that's all? Pssh, you're the smartest person I know. You'll ace it like that Ventura guy," Brittany said with a smile. Quinn cocked her head to the side trying to decipher this one. Brittany had always shot off comments like this and Quinn prided herself for being able to mostly know what the hell she was talking about.

"You know, the detective guy? He was smart too," Brittany said picking up on the fact that Quinn didn't get her movie reference.

Realization struck Quinn and she started to laugh, "Oh, I haven't seen that movie in forever."

"Really? I have it saved on the tv. We should do a girls night when I come back and watch it," Brittany suggested.

"Oh, we haven't had a girls' night in forever. I'm totally down for that," Quinn said. Brittany shot up from the couch with a nod and headed to the kitchen. It left Quinn alone with her thoughts for a moment while Brittany was off doing whatever it was.

Brittany bounced back into the living room, "We both have next Friday off. I marked it on the calendar as the official girls' night of next week. Only candy will be allowed for dinner!"

Quinn tossed her head back and laughed. That would be practically perfect. Brittany would get drunk off of dots and she would get sick from eating too many skittles. She could almost hear the rainbow jokes Brittany would no doubt pull out of her magic brain. Then it occurred to her. Santana was going to be arriving Thursday night. It would highly unlikely they even got a chance to buy the candy.

Brittany noticed Quinn tense up again. She wasn't one to push for answers but Brittany knew Quinn would tell her eventually. Quinn stood from the couch and stretched, the joints in her back popping rather loudly. Quinn watched as Brittany winced but she just sighed in relief. "So when do you leave?"

"The train leaves in two hours. I should really be heading out the door," Brittany said as she looked at her digital watch. She reached down and pulled on her old white tennis shoes and then shrugged into her jacket.

"Want me to ride with you there?" Quinn asked.

Brittany shook her head no, "I can handle this. Besides, you look ready to fall over. Just head on to bed and I'll text you when I leave and when I get there. Plenty of time for your beauty rest before your worry wrinkles set in." Quinn rolled her eyes but nodded anyway. "Oh, I'm also making a visit to see her. It's been three years now. Want me to say anything for you?" Brittany asked. Her smile was gone but her eyes weren't void of happiness they usually were when mentioning Santana. But Quinn couldn't help but notice Brittany didn't say her name.

"What if she showed up one day? What would you say to her?"Quinn asked, not really sure where those questions came from or if it would lead her to reveal the truth to Brittany. It was rather pointless for her to be visiting San's grave when she was alive here in New York and actually not very far from where they lived.

"I don't think I would say anything," Brittany answered.

"Why?" Quinn asked.

"I can't remember the last time we kissed. You don't realize it's going to be your last kiss. I didn't commit it to memory or tell her all the things I wanted to. I just wish I had a chance to do that kiss over again. Tell her how much I loved her and that I would have waited however long to be with her," Brittany answered. Quinn was silent. That had to be the most intense and heartbreaking thing to have heard Brittany say in years. "I still feel like I'm waiting for her." Brittany whispered. Quinn stepped forward quickly and pulled Brittany into a tight hug. She reached up and ran her fingers through Brittany's soft strands of hair. Brittany tightly gripped Quinn's shirt in her hands and pulled her close, her breaths coming in hiccups. They were both trying so hard not to cry. It was a war they had struggled with for a long time before, they just couldn't cry anymore.

"You don't have to say anything when you visit her grave. Not for me at least," Quinn said. Brittany nodded against her neck and then pulled back, sniffling once. She smiled softly then grabbed her duffel bag. Quinn reached over and opened their front door for her. "Have a safe trip and tell your parents hi for me."

Brittany's soft smile transformed into a bigger and brighter one. Their emotional moment now passed and hopefully off their minds at least for the next few hours till they could reflect on it in silence. "I'll text you, promise. You have fun while I'm gone," Brittany walked out the door, down the hallway, and waved one last time before heading down the stairs. Quinn shut the door and locked. Her head fell forward to rest against the cool wood of the door as she took a handful of deep breaths. There was no possible way this was going to be easy. Brittany was going to be heartbroken when Santana showed up. Quinn had no way to prepare for that. She thought she might have had a way to do that but there wasn't. Brittany was still broken over Santana's death that her showing up at their doorstep was going to be tragic. Now Brittany was going to be gone for a few days in Lima to visit Santana's grave. Brittany would be returning home with fresh pain only to find Santana at their front door.

What had she been thinking when she demanded Santana come out of hiding? She hadn't been thinking, that was what. She was so pissed at seeing her alive. There she was in New York City partying and drinking like she wasn't supposed to be dead. How do you react to that? She had to slap her to believe she wasn't just seeing things. How do you plan for this? Used to be that when people died, they were actually dead and stayed dead.

She decided that she needed to just breathe and relax for one night. The answers would come to her if she wasn't stressing about the questions. She shuffled into the kitchen and made herself dinner. By the time she'd finished and hand washed her dishes Brittany had texted that she was on her way to Lima. She decided that Brittany was a genius and that this would be a perfect time to get some sleep without having to worry about waking up for a phone call. She stripped and dressed in her favorite pajamas and the second her head hit the pillow she was out.

The apartment was quiet for the few days that Brittany was gone. Quinn had never hated silence before. Normally she had sought it out just so she could relax but these past few days it was driving her insane. She didn't want to bother Brittany while she was spending quality time with her family and she didn't have a way to get in touch with Santana to yell at her to help vent all of her emotions out. So she sat in her apartment when she was done with classes and tried her best to not go insane.

Safe to say the apartment had never been so clean. She'd scrubbed the tiles, waxed the hardwood, disinfect any surface she would find, dusted and polished till it looked like this was a model apartment. She was almost positive Brittany just might freak out with how clean everything now was. But all the chores and stressing had passed the time. It was Thursday, the fated day that she was dreading. Brittany was due to return any minute and Santana was supposed to show up tonight.

She paced in an attempt to calm her nerves. Would Brittany get home before Santana made it over? Did Santana know Brittany went back to Lima and was waiting for her to get back before she came by? Would Santana even show up? How was Brittany going to handle this and if Santana didn't show up would she actually tell her what she'd found out? The questions were slowly driving her insane. She'd even chewed her nails down to stubs and that was one thing she'd always found disgusting that others did and here she was partaking in that nasty habit.

Her pacing and chewing came to a halt when a knock sounded at the door. Brittany wouldn't knock, she had a key. Santana was here! She actually listened to Quinn for once. Unless it was Brittany who happened to forget her key again. The knock came again, only more urgent and heavier. Brittany wouldn't pound at the door like that.

Quinn shot forward and opened the door, breath caught in her throat."Blaine?" He shocked her, so much that she didn't see what he was struggling to hold up. More like who he was struggling to hold.

"Hey Quinn. I know this is a surprise but I really need you to let us in," Blaine said, shuffling the body in his arms. Quinn stepped back and Blaine lifted the limp form across the threshold and nodded for Quinn to close and lock the door. "Do you have somewhere I can lay her down? Also would you happen to have a first aid kit?" Blaine asked.

"Take her to my room," Quinn answered. She got a brief look at Santana before Blaine was carrying her down the hallway, "First door on the left. I'll get the first aid kit." Her mouth was dry, breath still caught in her throat. She didn't think the first aid kit was going to be much help.

Santana's hair had been hanging in her face but when Blaine shifted her she could see some of the damage. Her right cheek was swollen with a large gash that was still dripping blood. Her lips were dried out and cracked. Her wife beater was clung to her in red wet patches and her sweats were ripped and barely covering her. How had Blaine gotten her here without being questioned by the police? Even better question, what the hell happened to her?

Quinn grabbed the first aid kit and quickly joined Blaine in her room. "I'm sorry about your sheets. I'll buy you new ones," He said and she then realized that Santana was still bleeding heavily and it was staining her yellow sheets. He'd been kind enough to remove her comforter before laying Santana down. She handed him the first aid kit and stepped back. He seemed to know what he was doing and she didn't want to get in the way.

He began to strip her and her hands shot to her mouth in an attempt to hold back her gasps. She had never seen anyone this horribly broken. She had deep red marks around her wrists, deep cuts just where her thumb and wrist meet. Her left side of her rib cage was black in bruising. She had dark marks around her hips and one firm mark around her throat. She could see angry red welts that started near the back side of her ribcage and disappeared around her back. Some were open and bleeding freely. Her ankles had open cuts and deep red bruising similar to her wrists.

"Quinn, I'm going to need your help. Can you do that for me?"Blaine asked in a calm voice trying to draw her attention away from studying the horror that her best friend was right now. When she noticed the crusted white substance that was dried in a few private places she finally blinked and forced her gaze away. She nodded behind her hands still clasped tightly around her mouth. She was afraid to say anything.

"I need you to get a large bucket of warm water and the cleanest towels and rags you have. Then I need any and all medical supplies you have aside from this kit. Can you do that for me?" Blaine asked, repeating his question.

Quinn nodded again and then she was out the door. She didn't even let any thoughts pass her mind as she grabbed all the supplies she could find. She even raided Brittany's room where she knew Brittany kept more first aid supplies since she would be very accident prone at some times. Quinn returned to her bedroom and placed everything on her bed side table for Blaine.

"Thank you very much Quinn. This next thing is very important and I need you to do this for me," Blaine started as he reached for the cloth and water. Quinn nodded and waited for his instructions. "I don't know if I can..."Blaine stopped himself and shook his head, then started again, "Is Brittany here?"

"No, she went to Lima for a few days. She should be back soon though," She answered.

"It's very important that Brittany not see this. I really wish you didn't have to but she has nowhere else to go and they don't know about you two. Santana is really going to kill me when she wakes up and finds all this out," Blaine shook his head, talking to keep himself calm.

"What happened?" She asked, knowing some of the answers just by the evidence before her.

"I don't know. When she shows up like this she refuses to tell me. Makes me promise I'll never mention it and just forget the details. This isn't even close to her normal state of fare. I almost think I don't want to know. She's lucky I came looking for her," Blaine said.

"You knew she was alive all this time?" Quinn asked, just now catching on to the fact that she wasn't the only one to know the truth.

"I'm the one that's been keeping her alive," Blaine commented. He worked on cleaning the cuts and getting the majority of the cuts to stop bleeding. He worked on wrapping the wounds he could and then asking if she had a sewing kit.

Quinn left the room and brought back Blaine's new requested items and a lighter. She helped him the best she could but her hands were shaking so fiercely. "I think I can take it from here. I know this isn't a sight most people can handle," Blaine's voice broke the eery silence that had settled in her bedroom. Quinn nodded but she didn't leave the room. She didn't think she could. Santana had told her she needed time to handle some things, that it wasn't safe for her to be there. Was this what she was talking about? What kind of trouble was she in and why was Blaine involved? Now she wondered if she and Brittany were the last to know. Blaine lived with Kurt and if Kurt knew Santana was alive then so did Rachel who would have sung about it from the rooftops of New York and spread the scandal of it and twisted it into her dramatic favor. Now more than ever she really wanted answers but the only person who could provide them was bleeding out on her bed.

Blaine was nearing the last of the wounds and her room looked like a makeshift horror ER session. Bloody rags littered the floor, the bucket of water a tinted pink. The first aid kit was empty now save for the wrappers of the supplies. Her sewing kit was bare of needles and her best string. Then she heard the rattling of the front door. Brittany was home. Quinn's eyes nearly popped out and Blaine shot his head up, "You have to stall her. She can't see this," Blaine said.

Quinn was out of her bedroom and closing the door quickly. Brittany was just coming in and dropping her duffel bag in the same spot she'd left it earlier in the week. She pulled her jacket off and smiled at Quinn."Hey Q, miss me?" She asked as she dropped her jacket on top of the rest of her stuff and hung her keys up next to Quinns by the door.

"Hey Brittany, how um, was your trip?" Quinn asked trying to get her voice to even out and to not appear to be shaken by her nerves.

"It was good and stuff," Brittany shrugged. She came to give Quinn a hug and noticed her tense. Quinn's shoulders bunched up and she twisted her hands together. Quinn looked down at her fingers, noticing how pale her skin was right now. "Is everything okay?" Brittany asked.

Quinn's bedroom door opened behind her and Blaine stepped out wiping his hands on the last clean towel. "Blaine?" Brittany's voice was filled with confusion. "I thought you were gay? I know I told you to have fun Quinn but I don't think Kurt would appreciate this form of it." Brittany joked but then she noticed the red still staining Blaine's hands.

"Wait, is one of you hurt?" Brittany took a step back and really looked at Quinn. She was pale and shaking but the blood wasn't from her. She took a good look at Blaine too. He seemed to have some splattered on his cheek and neck, his fingers stained and his shirt ruined but he didn't look like he was in pain. "What's going on?"

"There's something you're going to see and it's going to be a shock," Quinn started. The words weren't coming out the way she hoped but how does one prepare someone for this? Before she was worried about Brittany seeing Santana again but that was the non-dying version of her. This was so much worse.

"I'm already shocked," Brittany said commenting on the fact that she came home to this, whatever it is.

"There's no right or wrong way to do this and I don't know how," Quinn stuttered. Blaine looked down at his ruined shoes. He didn't know what to do himself. He'd lucked out on finding Santana in the first place and even more surprised to find she hadn't been stabbed this time just nearly beaten to death; Steve having left her to bleed out.

Brittany gripped Quinn's shoulders but she didn't have any other words, still in shock. Brittany shook her but that didn't seem to help so she finally stepped past her and looked at Blaine who merely nodded towards Quinn's bedroom door. Brittany stepped forward and twisted the knob to Quinn's bedroom and pushed open the door.

Her gasp filled the apartment. Blaine and Quinn watched from the hallway as Brittany sobbed and rushed forward into the room. Blaine reacted quickly, pulling Brittany into his arms to keep her from jostling Santana's body. He'd finally managed to get her to stop bleeding and if Brittany moved her it was possible those cuts would open back up again. He wasn't positive he could get them to stop bleeding again.

"No, no, no," Brittany chanted that word, shaking in Blaine's arms. Quinn reached out and touched Brittany's shoulders. Brittany's breath was coming in erratic gasps, tears pouring from her eyes. Then she began screaming Santana's name while Blaine held her firmly in his arms.

**Authors note: Once again I just want to say thank you to everyone who takes the time to review. I love reading your thoughts and I can't wait to hear about them for this update. Also thank you to those who don't review, I still appreciate you taking the time to read my story. **

_**Spoiler: I'm planning the next few chapters to be flashbacks of what has happened to Santana. I'll do a chapter where she died, a mirror chapter to Britt's senior year, and then what happened with Steve. It's going to be some heavy material and will have a trigger warning. Just a heads up since I don't want anyone to be surprised or put off or anything. **_

**Please stop by my tumblr (wigster07. Tumblr .com) and please leave a review or ask me questions. **


	8. Chapter 8: Present and Past

_You find balance in your life and suddenly everything you knew is gone. Life is funny that way, so is death._

Brittany sat there in the silence. She had long ago fallen into a calmness that unnerved everyone including herself. So she sat herself next to Quinn's bed and studied the face she promised herself to never forget. The memory of Santana was much more pleasant than the reality staring her in the face. Seeing this Santana, she almost wished that this was just some nightmare. But she reached out and grasped Santana's hand in her own and the warmth there made her insides dance.

She cradled Santana's hand in her own, memorizing everything about it just in case she slipped from her reality again and became another nightmare. Her fingers were still strong and slender but the texture of skin above her knuckles was rough, rougher than she remembered. As she looked closer she could see faint lines weaving between knuckles and one that was blended into the darkness of her skin right on top of her hand. If you weren't looking close enough you wouldn't see but Brittany always looked closely at Santana.

She loved her texture and how they were such a contrast to each other. Opposites but meant to be. She loved the strength beneath her softness. San had always been concerned with her looks, determined that it was a vital way of her getting through life. When Brittany would hug her, at first she would swoon in the softest of her curves and then melt into the hardness of her muscles. When she started getting into fights more that softness had disappeared little by little but Brittany was always able to melt into her.

Now looking at this broken form of Santana she could still see the softness and the hardness buried in Santana's essence. She wasn't soft on the outside anymore. She was rough in certain places and her muscles popped everywhere. If Santana wasn't bruised and stitched up, Brittany would say she was sexy but nothing about this was attractive at all. It just broke Brittany's heart. She wasn't aware she could hurt any more than this. She was certain that when Santana died she wouldn't feel anything equal or worse. This moment rivaled that.

She'd found some way to survive without her and all along she was alive. What did that mean? Was she so mad at her for dating Artie that she just left her behind? Had this been her fault? What would happen when Santana woke up and saw her at her bedside? There was so much pain behind her questions and she wouldn't know the answers till Santana woke up. Would she want to know the answers? She thought she was strong. That she could handle anything life would toss at her because she'd been through the worst already. Why would fate be so cruel to toss something like this in her path?

"Hey, are you okay?" Quinn asked from the doorway. It snapped Brittany from the spiraling of her thoughts. Brittany just looked at Quinn,still holding on tightly to Santana's limp hand in her own. "Right, not the best question to ask." Quinn folded her arms across her chest and looked at her feet.

They were silent for a moment and Brittany looked back to study Santana. She watched her chest rise and fall gently. Blaine had explained that he didn't have any clothes for her. Something about her place being watched and how it was trashed when he first found it. Those details had frightened her but she wasn't supposed to know. She didn't like that Blaine was talking in hushed whispers with Quinn while he was here. He had to leave for school and promised to be back after classes to check on her. Quinn had brought some of her sweats and a wife beater and Brittany had helped her redress Santana.

Seeing her naked was a shock. Those faint scars she saw blended into the skin of her hand was nothing compared to the scars that she found elsewhere. She had a few on her back that matched and reflected the stitched cuts that littered the previously flawless skin. But those were the only visible ones save for the one that was a raised thick line resting between the ribs on her left side. Brittany had traced the line with the tip of her finger and realized this was the scar to start off the rest of them.

She'd remembered the news articles, the trial, the ten o'clock news reports. All reminders that Santana had been stabbed and killed and here she was touching where that knife had slipped into her and stolen her away. She was aware of Quinn's stares on her the entire process of redressing Santana. Quinn had left her alone after that and was only just now bothering her in the stressful quiet she'd established for herself.

"Did you know?" Brittany asked. She kept her body turned towards Santana but her eyes watched Quinn who was still in the doorway. Quinn's body tensed and then she began to shuffle back and forth a bit. That was answer enough for Brittany and she couldn't decide if she was upset by this or not.

"I only found out last week. I saw her when I was out with Rick. Then she came and spoke to me the next day. She was going to come by tonight to see you," Quinn answered. She could hear the relief in Quinn's voice like she'd been struggling to tell her. That was almost a comfort. She started to tell Quinn that she wasn't mad at her, that she was just simply upset but her words wouldn't cooperate. She'd always had this problem. Thoughts wouldn't come out right like she thought them. Most people just jumped to the conclusion that she wasn't smart but her closest friends knew better. So Quinn understood perfectly when she simply closed her mouth again and chewed on her bottom lip in worry.

"She told me she was waiting for a good time to come back to you. That it wasn't safe. I didn't really believe her. I had just thought she was being selfish or something. I mean I did find her drinking and partying,"Quinn said.

"What?" Brittany asked, more like snapped. Santana was in trouble and Quinn hadn't said anything?

"Rick went to bail Amy out of some trouble and I saw her there. She'd been fighting for money and then she was getting wasted. I just thought she was just having a good time not at all concerned with us," Quinn explained.

Some of the dots seemed to connect for Brittany. Santana had gone to that abandoned warehouse to get into fights to win drugs and alcohol. Brittany hated that she'd done it but Santana never listened to her plea's for her to stop. This is what Puck had introduced her to in order to help deal with the drama in her life. Then she'd died. Now it was the drama.

"She was in trouble. Look at her. How could you just leave her there?" Brittany asked, standing now as her anger started to boil inside her. She very rarely got angry in her life but here she was ready to snap.

"She told me to leave. To never go back there. She was scared," Quinn explained, raising her hands as a sign of 'don't hurt me'.

Brittany looked down at Santana's broken form, "She was trapped." She didn't realize how true her words were. Brittany sat back down and reached for Santana's hand again. She held on tight and closed her eyes, a few tears slipping from the corners.

"I didn't really know what to do," Quinn admitted.

"I don't think I would have either," Brittany replied. They looked at each other and Quinn could see the tears threatening to pour out. She was across the room in two strides and wrapped Brittany into her arms. Brittany cried violently into Quinn's chest as she desperately gripped at Santana's limp hand.

After a while Brittany just couldn't cry anymore. She didn't know if she'd have any tears left for the rest of her life. For someone who could give her all the happiness in the world, Santana had done the opposite. How was that fair or right? How could Brittany not hate her for that?

"Can you forgive her?" Quinn asked, eerily in tune with Brittany's thoughts.

"How could I not? We're meant to be, Quinn. And somehow I'm getting to hold her hand when I thought I'd lost her forever. I really don't know how to feel right now," Brittany admitted. She really didn't know how to feel. She was relieved that Santana was alive but heartbroken to see the tragedy that her body revealed. Santana had been about keeping her pain locked inside, now her body betrayed her by showing the truth.

She really wouldn't know how to feel until she got to look into Santana's eyes. That somehow looking into those pools of warm chocolate and depth then she would know how to decipher the feelings raging inside her. It had always been that way. That San would just look at her and suddenly she could see herself clearly just like she could see everything about Santana. She looked up at Santana's closed eyes and saw the movement flickering behind closed eyelids. Whatever was San dreaming of? Brittany gripped her hand harder,bringing it to her lips and kissing those rough knuckles gently as if her lips could wash away the scars that stained her skin.

"_Maybe you're right, maybe I am destined to play the title role in Broadway musical version of Willow, but the only job you're going to have is working on a pole!"_

_Her stomach twisted painfully. For once she couldn't find the venom to spit her words with. Rachel fucking Berry had left her speechless. She could feel everyone tensed behind her but along with the absence of words she was also left with the will to move. She was frozen. Is this really what everyone thought of her? That she was nothing, worthless? Only good for a show and a hand job?_

_She stood, ignoring those behind her that fidgeted in their chairs. She didn't look at anyone as she grabbed her bag and left the room. She couldn't bring herself to be angry as she stalked towards the parking lot. Forget this crap! She hated all of them so why did she feel so wounded?No, she wasn't going to allow that._

_She climbed up into her jeep and started the car. She was done with this place and these false friends. She put the jeep in reverse and pulled out. She didn't even bother with the dramatics of spinning her tires or flicking off the students that watched her with interest. None of these people cared so why should she?_

_She headed to her house, which was empty as usual. Her parents were never home. They didn't care either. Sure, they would leave her money for food and kept the lights on for her but not even they cared enough for her. Did they expect her to work a pole as well? Did they even have expectations for her? Did they even remember they had a daughter while they were away on their trips?_

_She rolled her eyes as she locked her car and headed inside. She really needed to stop asking herself questions. She was only making herself depressed and right now she didn't want to feel anything. She tossed her keys, not seeing where they landed and stalked into her father's office and pulled open the liquor cabinet._

_She popped the lid off the first bottle she grabbed and took a long swig, blinking back tears from the burn of the alcohol. She wanted to stop thinking so she didn't bother with a chaser or 'watering it down'. She drank until she couldn't see straight and then she was just a slumped over form in her father's office._

_She jolted awake at the sound of her doorbell but she couldn't get her feet to work or the legs they were attached to. The door bell ringing stopped and was replaced by frantic pounding against the front door. Someone was speaking on the other side but she couldn't hear over the rushing of blood in her ears. The pounding stopped and so did the door bell ringing which her fuzzy head appreciated. She plopped down on the couch and tried to focus. For the moment she couldn't remember why she'd drunk so much so quickly._

_The quiet of the house began to make her realize and then Rachel's words began to echo in her head. Ugh, not even heavy liquor was keeping it from her mind. She needed something stronger. Something that would keep her out for a while. Her parents would be still be gone for a while so if she got her hands on some stronger drugs she could pass out here and no one would be the wiser. Sometimes it was a blessing to be left to her own devices._

_She pulled herself up and stumbled to the kitchen to see how much money they'd left this time and if it would be enough to buy what she wanted. She stared down at the few bills and knew it wouldn't be enough to buy herself a decent high. She grumbled as she dragged herself upstairs to change. It didn't matter if she didn't have enough cash. She had other ways to get the drugs and she was proud of the fact that it didn't involve sex. As soon as that thought crossed her mind, she hated herself even more. Didn't that count as working a pole as well?_

_She pulled on her workout sweats and a wife beater. She grabbed her favorite leather jacket and then went back downstairs to find her keys. She actually couldn't remember where she tossed them and eventually gave up on trying to find them. She cursed at nobody and herself and began the hike to the warehouse Puck had introduced her too. Sure, he was obsessed with the overweight reject from the animal planet channel but he was still beneficial to her. She would drop his name at the door and be inside within seconds._

_The walk to her longer than she thought considering for a few moments she had to remember how to walk but once she was there she was let in after mentioning Puck's name. It didn't take much convincing till she was scheduled a fight with a couple of baggies as reward for the winner. She waited as patiently as she could, studying the faces off all the social and human rejects that littered the place._

_As she waited she pulled out her cellphone. She had a handful of missed calls from Brittany and a few text messages, all asking for her to call. She deleted all of them. Where was Brittany when everyone was tearing her down. Sure, she was just honest with everyone about her thoughts but what did it matter? People just suck! They didn't have to hate her too._

"_Your up sweet cheeks," She looked up at the grease ball that spoke. She rolled her eyes and made sure not to brush up against his taint as she walked by. She approached the painted circle in the middle of the warehouse and noticed the bitch she was partnered up against. Her arms were littered with bruises and she knew the girl was high off of whatever was in the last needle she'd stuck herself with._

_Santana smirked and pulled off her favorite worn leather jacket. She tossed it off to the side and made a motion to Nolan to keep an eye on it. He was the guy that always set up her fights and didn't tell Puck she'd been around using his name. Nolan also made sure she got a good chunk of change from the bets placed on her fights. She might do something to say thanks but it wasn't going to be tonight._

_She squared her shoulders and raised her fists like Puck had taught her. This bitch was going down and then she was getting high. The girl against her raised her fists as well but she was unsteady. Once the fight began it didn't take long for her to put the bitch down. The bitch was still drugged up but she'd since sobered up since her walk here._

_Guys cheered as she was the last one standing. Those were typically the rules unless otherwise stated. You fought until your opponent wasn't getting back up. She'd been very good in all of her fights, having only lost one. It was fun explaining to her parents why she'd been limping for a week after having her leg nearly snapped in two. Cheerio practice ended up being a good excuse to explain away the bruises and winces of pain._

_She went off to the side and collected her winnings. She had two bags full of white pills. Super strength street illegal pain killers. The stuff she dreamed off. Take a handful of those and you wouldn't remember what year it was or who your mom is. Just what she wanted to keep her out of it for a few days. Nolan also handed her a wad of cash with a wink._

_She went to grab her jacket when her arm was pulled roughly. "Sell me some of those." She rolled her eyes at the junkie. He was covered in sweat, his hands shaking and his pupils were shot. He was clearly going through withdraws from his last high but she wasn't about to hand over her hard won bags of dreamless sleep._

"_Get lost you needle reject," She snapped pulled her arm from his grip. She only got a step away before he was pulling her back again. She felt something sharp in her side but she didn't wince as he tried to look scary. It came across as pathetic._

"_I need some of those. Come on, I'll pay you for them," He begged, his hand tight on her arm._

"_I have money, plenty of it. I'm not selling you anything so get lost or go win your own," She snapped pulling against his grip._

"_You don't understand, I need it," He insisted._

"_You need to let me go, piss face," She insulted and pulled again. The pain she felt in response made her gasp. His hand not holding her jerked and whatever had been poking her was now buried deep in her side. She tried to breath against the pain as she looked down. Her knees buckled and as she fell the blade was pulled from inside her._

_She watched as a torrent of red poured out, staining her shirt, sweats and the ground beneath her. The guy above her grabbed her money and drugs and then bolted. So did everyone else. She turned, hand reaching for help but no one reached back. They all ran to any exit they could find and left her there. She was only, struggling to breathe._

_She wanted to forget about her crap life, not stop living it. How the hell had this happened? She reached up, trying to stop the bleeding. Tears began to pour down her cheeks as she struggled to get any words out. Her throat was dry and she couldn't choke anything out. Her arms became too heavy to hold up anymore and they dropped to her sides. Nothing to keep her from bleeding freely now. She started towards the ceiling as it got darker, her vision dimming around the edges._

_She saw blue eyes. Sharp piercing blue eyes that danced in the light. A golden halo falling around her. Brittany. She smiled softly at the memory that played in her mind. The one morning she'd stayed after. She'd woken to Brittany smiling down at her, blue eyes filled with happiness at the fact that she was still there. She was testing herself that night to see if she could, if this was what made her happy. Waking up to Brittany, that was the happiest she'd ever been in her life._

_Her eyes closed, the smile falling from her lips. She felt a pressure on her side, something echoing in the distance but she couldn't grasp it. She didn't want to. Finally her mind was quiet and she wasn't living up to anyone's expectations because she wasn't living. Some reason, that didn't upset her that much._

**Authors Note: Loving all the reviews. Thank you for taking the time to let me know what you think. As a reward you got the best of both worlds. A little insight to Brittany's thoughts and a flashback of Santana. Let me know what you think and don't forget, I'm on Tumblr. **


	9. Chapter 9: Senior Year Mirror

**Trigger Warnings: This chapter has some dark material and may be sensitive for some to read. (Spoiler for Trigger Warnings: Involves rape/violence/mild torture.) Most triggers towards the end of the chapter. **

**I love hearing from all of you. I'm glad that my writing draws you in. This chapter is the mirror chapter for Britt's senior year. I look forward to your thoughts on this one. :)**

_Her sleep was dreamless, her reality a nightmare._

Three weeks after her funeral:

She awoke in confusion. It took long silent seconds before she realized why she was confused. She was simply awake. All she saw were the steel beams of the ceiling. She tried moving but her body wouldn't do what her mind was telling it too. Panic settled into her chest and her breaths were coming in short gasps.

"I would slow your breathing down or you might pass back out," His voice was deep and familiar. She felt a warm pressure on her forearm and was relieved to find she wasn't paralyzed she just was too stiff to move just yet.

She focused on her breathing, a fighting technique that she very rarely used. After a moment the darkness brimming her vision lifted and she felt her heartbeat slowing down to its normal rate. Once she was calm she went through a mental checklist. She flexed her toes and fingers, bent her knees and elbows slightly and twisted her neck. She was jerky but she was moving. This was a good sign. As she twisted her neck she noticed who was sitting next to her.

She saw his face first. His hair was cut short in a buzz, the tiny hairs midnight black. His brow was a dominate feature on his face, his eyebrows small forests of hairs. His eyes were so green she would bet money they glowed in the dark. His cheeks were sunken and sharp, lips thin and pale. His chin covered in a day's beard. She knew his face, she hated his face.

"You have caused me a great deal of trouble Ms. Lopez," He stood from his seat and loomed over her. It was a nice relief not having to twist around to look at him but it made her feel small and weak when he was towering over her.

He must have sensed her discomfort because he joined her on the bed. He pulled one leg over the other, folding his hands on top of his knees. He continued with narrowed eyes, "A minor getting herself stabbed over some mediocre painkillers. Not just any minor, no, a former Cheerio who's well known in the town. Can you see how this is a problem?"

She only blinked in response. Her eyes twitched towards his hands that flexed on his knees. He was gripping so tightly his knuckles were white. "Well, I just can't toss your body down a drain and call it an accident. No, your parents and friends are going to want a full investigation and finding a stab wound, well they would want your murderer. Of course this is just one situation we've found ourselves in."

She was trying to really remember what had happened. Her brows were burrowed together in confusion, a look she'd sported since she'd woken up. She pulled her right hand up and rubbed over her ribs on her left side. She felt the bandage before the sharp tug of pain as her fingers grazed over the ridged flesh that was scarring over.

"Nolan was able to get your heart started again but you lost a lot of blood. Do you remember any of that?" He asked.

Memories played in her mind like a bad movie; her defeat of the needle reject to the sweat ridden druggie and then pain. She remembered what she'd been thinking going into that place and her thoughts as she thought she was leaving it. She couldn't figure out why she was so disappointed. The fact that she was stupid enough to get herself stabbed, or the fact that Nolan had saved her when she had just wanted to give up and not have to deal with any of this anymore.

"Not too long ago the police found our fight ring. It caused a bit of a problem. Do you know why?" She was still silent so he continued anyway, "Well, the place was filled with your blood. Enough of it to announce you dead. Can you see the problem now?"

Her thoughts began spinning. Everyone thought she was dead? That would mean no one would be looking for her. She was weak, barely able to move and at this man's mercy. She wouldn't trust that he wouldn't attempt to do something to her. But aside from her current dilemma, her friends thought she was dead. Brittany thought she was dead. She had to get out of here, she had to find her and tell her she was fine.

"I know what you must be thinking. 'Oh I'm dead, my poor mother must be crying her eyes out. All those boys that love my body but not me, they must be so horny from lack of decent replacement. I need to get out of here and let them all know I'm okay.' Just one problem we have to discuss before I even think of letting you out of my sight. You're a risk now. Not only that but you've cost me a lot of money." He stood from her side of the bed and folded his arms over his chest. She noticed the bulk of muscle under his shirt and the ability of description in his stance. She was suddenly afraid she wouldn't ever leave this place again. Not while he had the power over her.

"I've had to shut the place down. I can't have this accident leading the cops to my front door. I have a nice lifestyle, Santana. A comfortable lifestyle. I won't have anything compromising that. Sure, I can open this back up in a few years once your death has died down and I kill off your murderer in prison. But until then, whatever am I going to do with you?" He stalked around to the other side of her bed and slowly reached down to trace her scar. He pushed down slightly and the pain caused her to stop breathing. Tears pooled in the corner of her eyes and she prayed for the pain to stop.

"If you're going to kill me, then get it over with. I'm tired of listening to you talk," Where she found the courage for that she didn't know. Her words came out breathless but the damage was done. The pain stopped for a brief moment but she saw the rage behind his eyes. If he was going to kill her, it was going to be horrible for her but the joy of his week.

"I'm not going to kill you. I'm going to use you and if you don't do what I want you to, I will find the person you care the most about and I will kill them. Not just kill them, I will make them beg for death and then feed them to my dog while you watch. Once you've paid me back, I'll give you your freedom. But until then,you're mine," He said.

"You don't know me. You can't control me," She spat back.

He laughed, "But I do know you Santana. I know you just like I know all my fighters. You came here to find an escape. No one cares about you, or why would you be searching out the means to forget the pathetic excuse you call a life. Who cared enough to notice the bruises and cuts that these fights left you with? No one cared about your lies did they?" He asked. He was eerily close to the truth. Her own mother hadn't pushed on the bruises she'd come home with. Cheerleading wasn't that dangerous. No one questioned her when she would lie about where she'd been or what she'd been doing. Sometimes her lies were so poorly thought of she was sure she'd be questioned but no one ever did. He was also right about why she'd been there. She'd been trying to forget about her life. She wanted, needed the drugs to blank her mind and let her find peace for as long as she could.

He smiled and then jammed his fingers into the area where she was stabbed. The pain tore through her ribs, up to her chest and out her throat in a scream. She reached up and grabbed his wrist trying to get his fingers to stop jabbing her in her the ribs. Her scream died off as she fought to catch her breath.

"Don't mistake my calmness for peace. I have a lot of rage over this issue," He released her and she gripped at her side and the tears slipped from the corner of her eyes as she continued to fight for her breath."I'll give you time to heal and think about what I've told you. If you're smart you won't tell anyone that you're alive. You wouldn't want to give me any targets. I expect you to be ready to leave when I come to collect you," He wiped his hands off on her sheet and then sneered down at her. With that he turned and left her.

She chocked on her tears and gasps as she managed to get air back in her lungs. She rolled over the best that she could and tucked her knees up to protect her side. She coughed and gagged trying to get her tears under control. She flinched when she heard footsteps followed by a hand on her shoulder that pulled her back over.

"Steve's an asshole, but I would do what he says," Nolan was there with her. He looked down at her with sympathy.

"Why? Everyone already thinks I'm dead and I've no one I care about," The last was a lie, her thoughts going to a particular blonde. But she wanted to rebel, the urge swelling in her chest.

"I said the same once. Then my ex-girlfriend died. I still loved her very much but no one knew that," Nolan answered.

She was silent for a moment, relieved that she'd gotten her breath under control, "How did she die?" Her curiosity took over. What was Steve capable of?

"It was a car accident, but I'm not convinced it was," He said. Car accidents happen all the time so what was he not convinced of? She must have asked out loud because he answered her, "I'm not convinced it was an accident. She was parked in a car garage. It was either a very big freak accident or someone was gunning for her car."

They were both silent for a long moment. Her mind was racing. She needed to go home, to see Brittany and find herself and out. She didn't want this. How had this happened to her.

"Take my advice. Rest and heal. Then just do what he wants. He may be a bastard but he honors his word. He said if you pay him back for his loses he'll let go. Whoever it is your thinking of right now, just do what he says and they'll stay safe. When you've paid him back they'll still be there."Nolan suggested. He took a step back and then turned and left her alone in the room. The silence was deafening but it couldn't drown out her fear and the thoughts raging through her mind. What was she going to do? How could she get out of this?

Christmas Break:

She pulled her leather jacket closer, tucking her arms around her chest to help block out the cold. She'd been left alone for a few weeks now. It took her this long to heal, where movement would send sparks of pain through her body. She had to build her strength back up and practically relearn to walk. It was frustrating and many times she'd cussed out Nolan in Spanish because he just couldn't let her die. Steve had stayed away. He'd promised to give her time to think about his offer but she wasn't naive, there was no saying no. She was going to have to figure something out but she didn't know how much time she had.

Now that she was walking and breathing without feeling her lungs protest she had a feeling the moment would be coming soon. Nolan had told her that when he came for her, she'd be leaving Lima. He couldn't risk her running around the town where people might see her. Where she was lurking now,she doubted anyone would notice her, or recognize her. She reached up, making sure her hoodie was still covering her head.

The grass crunched beneath her boots as she shifted in place. A lone headstone stood with 'Santana Lopez' engraved into the granite. There wasn't a phrase like 'Here lies our beloved daughter' or 'Satan's spawn'. Just her name. What did that say about her? Her parents couldn't even put something sentimental on her tombstone. The one closest to her was of a baby girl. Her tombstone read 'Taken from the world so soon.' Sure, it was sad but she couldn't help but feel broken over the lack of words on her grave. She didn't even have any frozen flowers at the site. Had no one cared?

She rubbed her hands, trying to find some warmth. She turned from her grave and walked back towards the sidewalk. She decided she would finish this goodbye tour quickly so she could leave with no regrets when Steve came to collect her. She wasn't going to stay here. She had no reason to fight for a freedom that would mean nothing to her. It sure as hell wouldn't mean nothing to anyone else.

She walked towards the school. Maybe she could sneak in and take one last look around. Possibly steal the Junior yearbook since she never got a copy. She didn't have any pics of Brittany or Quinn. She'd tried sneaking back into her parents' house but her room was empty. Nothing there for her to loot. Not only that but there was a for sale sign in the yard. She guessed that now they didn't have her as a responsibility they could go and do what they wanted. That meant leaving behind Lima Loserville. Honestly, she really didn't blame them. She couldn't leave fast enough herself. Maybe she'd hunt down Steve before he came looking for her.

She reached the school and stared at the building for just a moment. She really hated this place for the most part. It was filled with losers and teachers who were half competent with their jobs. She could think of a Spanish teacher that fit that profile perfectly. But on the other hand, she ruled this place. The students respected her. Granted it was because they feared her but because of this she was able to keep Brittany safe.

It was halfway through the year and she couldn't help but wonder how Brittany was doing. Was someone helping her with schoolwork? Did anyone bully her because they thought she wasn't smart? Was that cripple still all over her? She sighed and her shoulders deflated a bit. She would never know and there was nothing she could do to fix any of it.

She could come back. Walk right up into that school, march down the hallway till she stormed into the choir room, snap Rachel's neck, and the pull Brittany into her arms where she belonged. It was a good plan. Very dramatic so the hobbit would appreciate it. But if she did that then Steve would come after Brittany and she would be able to protect her from that. Leaving, staying dead, that was the only way to protect her and it fucking sucked.

She crossed the street and headed towards one of the back entrances. Sometimes those were left unlocked, or the chains wouldn't be dead bolted. Right as she rounded the corner the door to the auditorium shot open and a tall blonde walked out, stretching her arms above her head. Santana shot around the corner before she could be seen.

The blonde stopped and looked like she was waiting . Santana peeked around the corner and knew exactly who she was looking at. Brittany was right there. She could reach out, wrap her arms around her. Brittany would sob and cry and she would kiss away those tears. She actually took a step around the corner without thinking.

A red bug pulled up to the curb, breaking her trance. She shot back around the corner and crossed the back side of the building and around the other corner. Perhaps she could take a peak from in front of the car and see Brittany's face. Right as she was about to round the corner to peak she heard the car tires crunch on the pavement and quickly turned around before they could see her. She walked down between the buildings hoping it would draw their suspicions. She heard the tires slow, knowing the car was stopping. She walked quicker and then rounded the corner and out of sight. She took a few calming breaths when the car moved on and left the lot.

But now she had a burning desire in the pit of her stomach. She had to see Brittany. Not just her back but all of her. She needed one last good look before she was gone forever. She needed to say goodbye.

Senior Skip Day:

It was a few months after Christmas and Steve had yet to come and collect her. On one hand she was glad she didn't have to deal with that yet. On the other, her nerves were shot in anticipation. She had to leave Lima to minimize the chance of running into anyone who would know her face. She couldn't risk it if Steve found out she'd been discovered. The world thought she was dead, she wasn't quite ready to be dead herself yet.

Granted that feeling flopped back and forth more that Finn's lumpy uneven man boobs. Some days she was glad to still be alive. Other days,she just wished she wasn't and had never been saved by Nolan. It was a horrible roller coaster ride and she really just wished she had the means for the drugs to be blissfully unaware for a few hours.

She was even more confused after seeing Brittany at the school. Granted, she'd only seen Brittany from behind but just being so close to her again swept her up in a tide of emotions she was still trying to figure out. So she did the sane thing; she spied, sitting outside Brittany's house late at night hoping to catch a glimpse of her through her bedroom window. Brittany didn't stay there too often and Quinn was always coming around. Every time she'd see Quinn and Brittany together there was always some physical contact and it twisted and burned in her gut. She was jealous, aware that it was exactly like what she felt whenever the cripple rolled up to Brittany and got her to smile.

She sat out in the parking garage of the city mall waiting for Nolan to meet her. She sipped on her mocha, reflecting on the the entangled emotions inside her. She felt so small, her knees drawn into her chest, her drink on her knee. Today was a day she just wished she was still dead. She'd been trying her best to figure out her emotions and what she was going to do. Steve not coming to collect her was only pushing her further into crazy town and she was tired of it. She just wanted something to happen already.

That was a dangerous wish because so sooner had she thought it, Brittany and Quinn stepped out of a parked red car and trotted to the elevator that would take them to the Mall lobby. She sat still, hoping they wouldn't see her and they didn't. The elevator doors closed but she got to she Brittany's beautiful face.

"She's beautiful. I can see why you're so torn," Nolan said stepping around the column. She jumped at his sudden presence but managed not to spill her drink.

"What the hell do you mean, Nancy?" She spat, pulling herself up to her feet and drowning the rest of her drink before tossing it away.

"You're living in my old apartment to keep out of Lima but yet I find you sneaking back there to stare at some house. Her house to be correct. You're lucky I'm the one keeping an eye on you or Steve would find that perfect ammunition to get you to make up your mind," Nolan explained,folding his arms over his chest and giving her a pointed look.

Okay, so she wasn't an expert at spying. Hell, she was still only a kid swept up in the adult world's underground games. "Who says I haven't made up my mind?" She asked, folding her arms to mirror his stance.

"I can see the battle raging inside your head. One minute your resigned to go off with Steve and play his little games and the next your realize you're in love with that girl and you can't leave her," Nolan answered with a shrug.

"I hate you," Was all she could say simply because he was right. She was in love with Brittany but what the hell could she do about it?She was dead, in debt to a criminal mastermind, and no way in hell was she ready to tell anyone that she loved woman, preferably Brittany.

"Steve is requesting your presence. I suggest you say goodbye to her, you won't be coming back here or Ohio in general," Nolan announced.

She gripped tighter at herself, fear washing over her. Steve had finally sent for her. He wanted an answer to his question. Die or be his slave? She nodded softly at no one's question and made her way towards the stairs. Nolan followed behind her silently. He knew she was going to make the choice he never could. She wasn't even old enough to buy cigarettes but she was already making the biggest sacrifice of her life.

She traveled through the mall keeping an eye out for two distinct heads of blonde hair. She eventually found them near the food court, snacking on some pretzels. She stayed back, Nolan at her side. Brittany curled into Quinn's side and she looked so sad. Her heart was breaking. How could she never know that she was in love with Brittany? If she'd figured it out, could she have been happy and if she was truly happy would she have been nice to everyone, including the hobbit and tubs the clown, and if that was the case would those words that always echoed in her mind have been said? That one what if led her to the biggest problem of all.

"I can't just leave her," She whispered.

"You have to. If you stay, Steve will find out about her and he will kill her," Nolan placed a comforting hand on her shoulder. She realized that even if she'd realized sooner how much she loves Brittany, she would still be in this position. Brittany was always being bullied by those who didn't understand her. She had to be tough and mean to keep her safe. Because of that she still would have made those comments, done the things she did and Rachel still would have said what she did. Only in that world this moment would be so much worse. In that world, they would have been together and in love. She would know exactly what she was now sacrificing and this moment would hurt so much more. Then she probably would beg for death instead of leaving her soul mate behind.

"Goodbye Brittany," She whispered and in that moment blue eyes looked up. A crowd passed in front of her, blocking Brittany's searching gaze. Nolan pulled her along until they were leaving the parking garage. She felt completely defeated but also with a new sense of purpose. She would find away out of this, pay of her debt and come back for her. She would do whatever was necessary.

Nationals:

Sweat covered her body in a sticky sheen, her lungs burned and pain was shooting up from her ankle into her knee with every frantic pump of her heart. She kept her hands up, blocking the best she could but she was beyond tired. This was her fourth fight today and she was losing momentum.

She struck out with her heel, catching her open in the front of her knee. With a crack, the girls leg bent in an awkward angle and she was down in a screaming fit. She hopped back on her one good ankle and waited to see if she would attempt to get up. She tried but Santana was back on her,bringing down a quick jab to her temple. The girls eyes rolled up into her head and her body went limp. The men surrounding the cage went crazy and she slumped against the frame in exhaustion.

The girl was carried out of the cage by two men they called the medics. Their only job was to keep the fighters patched up. She spent far too much and too little time with them. Nolan appeared by the door and waved for her. His eyes were sad and she immediately knew what was coming. She limped his way until he wrapped his arm around her waist and held her weight.

"He's really worked up so I'm sure it will be over quickly. I'll come for you as soon as I can," Nolan whispered in her ear and she nodded in resignation. This was her life, her sacrifice, her consequences for her past mistakes. This past month, she'd been living in hell. Soon she would be done with her debt and Steve would give her the freedom he promised.

Nolan led her to one of the back rooms reserved just for Steve. She passed the rooms that the Barbies could be located. The sounds leaking from behind the wooded doors made her stomach clench and she winced. She could make more money quicker for Steve if she sold her body like the Barbies did but she couldn't do that. She already sold her body in one form,she couldn't do it completely. Although if she really looked at her life, she already was. Steve let her keep more of her winnings if he got to 'work her down' after her fights. The better the fight, the better the sex, the better her winnings. Or so he liked to claim.

Nolan set her down softly on Steve's bed, the sheets already musty from whoever he'd whored with last. The pain set into her muscles and she squirmed trying to find comfort. Then Steve was above her and Nolan was gone.

"Why hello my little sex-doll. You were amazing that last fight. The guys were busting their nuts just watching you beat the shit out of that skank. Not me though, I couldn't wait till I can bust my nut inside you,"He panted out his words; his large, rough hands gripping at her everywhere.

Her clothing was ripped from her, though they weren't in better shape just seconds ago. He reached down, shoving her thighs apart roughly and the pain from her ankle shot up into her chest. She cried out and Steve took that as encouragement. She squinted her eyes, gripped at the sheets and prayed for it to be over soon as Steve dived into her dick first.

She only opened her eyes again when she felt a softer set of touches on her. Nolan hovered to her side, knowing how she freaked if he hovered over her after Steve finished with her. He wrapped her in a blanket and lifted her into his arms. As he carried her away, she buried her face into his neck and cried.

"Shh, it'll be okay beautiful," He whispered to her and took her to his truck. He took her to his apartment, keeping her wrapped safely in the blanket. No one was on the streets at three in the morning but no need for them to get in trouble for her lack of clothing and beaten body.

She laid on his bed as he patched her up. She didn't even wince anymore when he cleaned out deep cuts. It was almost like she was physically numb all the time now. At first she hadn't been able to block out the pain from her opponents or when Steve used her roughly after. Now, having been subjected to this for so many weeks, she could block it out; mostly.

"Nationals is in New York today," Nolan commented. She rolled her head to the side and saw his small smile as he tugged on the needle and string as he stitched up the deepest cut on her leg. "I got you a ticket. Thought you might enjoy one of the shows," He cut the string when he was done and looked up at her.

"Thank you," It was all she managed to say.

She rested for a few hours before she got up to stretch out the sore muscles. Nolan watched her silently once he'd given up on begging her to rest her body more between fights. Spurring on Steve like this wasn't going to buy her freedom faster, it was only going to make him want to keep her longer. Then he would kill her once her body finally gave out.

She rummaged through her clothes and found the nicest she hat to wear, which wasn't impressive at all.

She wore ripped blue jeans, a dark red shirt and her leather jacket. She pocketed a small bit of cash and limped towards the door of Nolan's apartment.

"Are you going to reveal yourself?" Nolan asked, stepping out from the small kitchen.

"I haven't decided yet. It's not exactly safe for her if I do," She answered. She reached for the doorknob but Nolan stopped her.

"We will get you out of this. I promise," Nolan released her shoulder with a soft squeeze. She smiled up at him, revealed that she had someone to keep her safe through all of this. With an ally she believed she really could get out of this mess and make her way back into Brittany's arms.

The venue for Nationals was packed. She could easily get lost in the crowd and not fear that someone from Lima would find her. Never-the-less she was extra careful. She saw Kurt first with some gelled rugged guy holding onto his waist tightly in the crowd. Seemed like lady Hummel got himself a boyfriend. She was jealous he'd found happiness despite how he was treated but also very happy for him. She wouldn't wish him a lonely life because he was proud and out.

The next member of New Directions she saw was Rachel and in that moment she really wanted to stalk up to her and rip out her vocal chords,a fate worse than death for the diva. She was smirk and stomp off. At the end of that daydream she was pulling Brittany into her arms and kissing her passionately in front of all the show choirs in the country. Instead she stalked off to find a place hidden in the seats so she could watch the competitions.

She was shocked to find that only Brittany and Quinn stood onstage for the New Directions. She was expecting a Rachel and Finn production that would cost them first place. When the music played and Brittany echoed every beat with her body a heavy sadness engulfed her heart and then Quinn began to sing. It was clear the message and it shattered every piece of herself. They were saying goodbye to her.

So much pain and relief was on their faces and she found herself crying. Most of the audience was as well. How could she think about showing herself to them now? They were only just now letting her go, over a year after her death? Hadn't she caused them enough pain? She thought back to the mall, remembering her own goodbye to Brittany. As the last notes died out and the lights faded she took one long last look at the love of her life. She couldn't do that Brittany, couldn't hurt her anymore. She stood and left a broken 'I love you' whispered out towards the stage.

One week before Graduation:

She spent the past few weeks in a depressing funk. Nolan was always scheming or hastily ending conversations when she would come around. She had no idea what he was up to but she wasn't going to bother with it. She was torn between fighting for her freedom or just sinking into the life she'd fallen into. Brittany had let her go, was done grieving her. It wasn't fair for her to just show back up in her life and tell her 'whoops, sorry for all your tears. Can we be besties again?' When you love someone you only want the best for them. She wasn't anywhere near being remotely good for Brittany. How could she ever think she would have been?

Steve came for them in the night sending his goons to drug them, bind them, and drag them into an abandoned warehouse in the slums. When the drugs passed enough out of her system she found herself hanging by her wrists from a support beam.

Her shoulders screamed each time she moved. Her bare toes barely scrapped against the concrete floor. She wasn't wearing any clothing at all. Nolan however was on his knees in front of Steve, hands tied behind his back and she wished she couldn't hear the gags coming from feet away. She closed her eyes and prayed that this was just a nightmare and that Steve wasn't living out one of his fantasies.

The gagging stopped and seconds later her cheek was stinging from the slap that landed there. Her body swung, Toes being skinned against the floor, tears pooling in her eyes from the strain in her shoulders. Warmth trickled down from her wrists as the metal cut into the soft skin there.

"Whispers echo, did you know?" Steve spoke with a smile. He leaned back from her, his shirt unbuttoned, belt unclasped and hanging from the loops of his jeans. A few white stains rested against his crotch where the zipper was. He turned from her and stalked towards Nolan who was spitting at the ground, pulling at the ties behind his back.

"Seems you two have been planning to kill me," Steve watched as Nolan looked up in shock. Another smack echoed through the empty metal walls. Nolan groaned and then picked himself back up from the ground. "Are you two looking for your freedom?" He asked. He tsked and shook his head. "Such a pity then. I was having so much fun with you two but if you're ready to leave then I guess I can grant you two your wish. After all, your no fun if you are submissive," He reached behind him and before she could scream the bang tore through her ears before ringing for long seconds after.

Nolan's body slumped to the ground and he didn't move again. Steve handed the gun off to one of his goons that stood behind him before he stalked his way towards her. She clenched in terror, afraid of what he was going to do to her. The end result would be the same as Nolan's.

He gripped her chin, "Since you're all tied up I think I'll have one last go at some fun." She closed her eyes as she heard his zipper being forced down. She felt a body behind her, hands gripping at her thighs and forcing the up and open. Then another body was in front of her.

A hand wrapped around her throat as she was pushed into from both men. She cried from pain, hands in tight fists praying this was over quickly. She saw spots behind her eye lids as the grip around her neck tightened. Her lungs burned by the lack of oxygen and just when she thought she was going to fall into blissful abyss the pressure released and she could breathe again, only to scream as fists pounded away into her ribs.

She choked on her own blood, swinging roughly by her wrists."I hope you enjoy your freedom," Steve spat in her face before bringing his fist up again. He pounded into her, using her as a human punching bag. Finally her body gave and she slipped away into the darkness she'd been longing for.


	10. Chapter 10: Questions keep piling up

**Authors note: I normally save these for after the chapter but I wanted to address some things first. All italics are Blaine's POV flashbacks. (Let me know if you like the alternate POVs) Also this chapter is a bit on the short side but I wanted to get something out to you guys. I didn't get that many reviews this past chapter...was the material just to dark or did I not do well with the flashbacks? **

**I also want to clear up the time line. Last chapter was what happened during Brittany's senior year so what happened at the end of last chapter is well before Blaine brought her to Brittany and Quinns apartment. I hope that clears that up some. **

Quinn was trying her hardest to distract herself. Brittany had hardly left her room in the past few days and Quinn was progressively getting more worried. Brittany was supposed to go back to work today and as she checked the clock she realized Britt should be walking out the door in five minutes. Which also meant that Blaine should be here any second.

She finished fixing herself a cup of coffee and setting out another cup for Blaine. He was bound to be here for a while tonight and she wanted him as awake as possible as he worked on Santana. It'd had been days...days and she was growing restless. Santana hadn't stirred once but you could see her eyes dancing behind closed lids. Occasionally she would twitch which would send Brittany into a frantic state, eyes wide and a tight grip on San's hand.

"I'm going to work," Brittany's voice pulled her out of her staring contest with Blaine's empty coffee cup. She turned around and nodded when she noticed Brittany's stressed facial expression. She hadn't seen Britt look like that in a while, like she was torn between two horrible decisions. She thought back, trying to remember the last time she'd seen that expression and realized it was when she'd been dating Artie and Santana had stopped hanging around so much.

"I can't stay and wait for her to open her eyes. Each time she twitches and doesn't wake up," Brittany sighed and folded her arms across her chest, "It feels like my heart is in a vacuum. So I'm going to work and try to get myself distracted."

"It's going to be okay Britt. She'll wake up and things will get better," Quinn promised but she couldn't help but feel like she was lying. It was going to get better right? Santana is alive and with them now. She just felt like she was missing some vital information that was important for her and Brittany. Perhaps she could get the information out of Blaine. She defiantly had a lot of questions.

"Don't get me wrong, Quinn, I'm so relieved and happy that she's alive. But you saw her just like me. I can't sit here and see what's been done to her and let my mind run wild with ideas of what's happened to her. I just can't wait for her eyes to open," Brittany said.

Quinn walked around the kitchen counter and pulled Brittany into her arms. "Go to work and when she wakes up she'll be here waiting for you. Just go distract yourself," Quinn suggested. Brittany nodded into Quinn's shoulder and then pulled away. Quinn watched as Brittany grabbed her jacket and keys and headed out for the door.

As Brittany opened it, Blaine was standing on the other side with a duffel off one shoulder and a hand raised ready to knock. "Hi Brittany,"Blaine greeted. Brittany pulled him into a quick hug and then with a small sad smile she was heading down the hallway. Blaine came in and closed the door behind him and set the duffel down by the door.

"Hey Blaine," Quinn greeted and took a welcome sip of her coffee.

"How are you today?" Blaine asked walking over to give her a hug. Quinn welcomed his hug and offered him the empty cup for him to make himself some coffee. He smiled in thanks and added some cream before pouring himself a cup.

"I'm good today. Just have a lot of questions. Think you have answers?" She asked. She wasn't beating around the bush today and Blaine picked up on that blatant fact.

"What's on your mind, Quinn? If I can answer I will," Blaine leaned against the counter and sipped on his steaming cup of coffee.

"I just want to start from the beginning. How did you get mixed up with Santana? You weren't at McKinley before her death. You didn't know her," Quinn asked.

"After Kurt and I met, he told me all about her. I saw the news and watched the trial. I knew of her and when I first found her I was shocked. It was a few days after our National Championship win. I was on my way to visit my brother and heard someone coughing in the alleyway," Blaine began to explain.

_He was walking, or well fighting was a better word for it. New York was a rough sidewalk to take a stroll. He was late as it was to meet his brother for their dinner. After a particularly hard shove from someone trying to pass him he stopped to take a calming breath. It wouldn't do any good for him to get stressed out over rude people. It wasn't like anyone was trying to attack him. People were just rude._

_He cocked his head towards the alley way, sure he'd just heard something that was a cat rummaging through a dumpster. He heard it again. Sounded like someone was choking. He hesitated at the entrance to the alleyway. His mother's warning ringing in his ears about being mugged. The chocking turned into to gurgling and wet coughing._

_He ran into the alleyway trying to find the source. Behind one of the dumpsters was a small figure doubled over and gripping at their side. He knelt beside them, "I'm here to help. Try not to move," He said looking to see what was wrong. She looked up at him and he was taken back. She looked so familiar behind the bruising and dried blood._

_He pulled her hands aside and lifted her ripped shirt to see what was wrong. Her back was caked in dried blood and her front and side was covered in a deep purple bruising. But what struck him the most was the raised scar that rested on her ribcage._

"_Santana Lopez?" He asked. Her eyes shot up to him, wide and full of fear. "My name's Blaine. I'm Kurt Hummel's boyfriend. You're going to be okay. I'll call for help," He said. Her hand shot to his and she shook her head no. "You're seriously injured. You need help."_

"_I can't," She was barely able to spit the words out before falling into a coughing fit again._

"_Are you in danger?" He asked._

"_I have to be dead," She said, and then her eyes rolled into the back of her head and her hand dropped from his._

_He shook her, trying to get her to open her eyes again. Then he checked for her pulse. He rolled her onto her back and began pumping her chest, trying to get her heart to start again. He pumped and breathed for her till his arms burned and he kept pumping, doing his best not to break any of her bones._

"_Come on Santana," He chanted. Finally she responded. He leaned back on his knees and took a deep breath. He got her heart to start again but new found panic set in. What does he do now? She didn't want to go to the hospital and even though she didn't answer him, he knew she was in danger. What the hell was he supposed to do?_

"So you found her in the alleyway and then her heart stopped?" Quinn recapped. She was trying to process that San, her best friend,has died twice before reaching twenty years old. Hell, twice before she would have technically graduated high school. Blaine nodded in answer, twisting his empty coffee cup on the counter.

"But you didn't take her to the hospital? Why?" Quinn asked.

"I didn't know what to do. She didn't want help but she needed it. I called my brother but he told me to just leave her there. I couldn't. I called off lunch and took her to my brother's place. He freaked and said that as long as she was there he wasn't going to get tangled up in that drama," Blaine let out a sarcastic laugh. "He didn't come back and I stayed to take care of her. She never gave me answers as to what happened to her but once I started med school and looked back, I figured it out."

"So that's why you didn't come back from New York?" Quinn asked. That had always been a question for everyone. Kurt questioned it but never really questioned it. He was just happy that his boyfriend would be in New York with him.

"I called my parents, told them Cooper needed me here and we got in touch with the school. I mailed in my homework, tests, and finals and graduated. I had already applied to college here so I could be with Kurt. My parents never really questioned it. I think they were glad to be rid of me, the son who didn't want to go into fame," Blaine scratched at his eyebrow.

"But you came back to walk for graduation?" Quinn asked.

"Santana made me. Told me it wasn't fair for us both to miss graduation. I really wish I had stayed though," Blaine admitted.

"What does that mean?" Quinn asked.

"When I came back, Santana was back to fighting for Steve again. She wanted me out of the way so I wouldn't stop her. Now here we are,"Blaine answered.

"Why would she go back? They thought she was dead. She was free from them," Quinn was confused. Blaine simply shrugged.

"I asked the same questions. Apparently she had a friend, his name was Nolan. Steve," Blaine paused thinking over his words, "He killed him and I think San went back to get revenge. She only got herself in deeper. When she came back that night she was covered in new bruises and cuts. I asked her about it and she told me to leave her alone. I told her I couldn't do that," Blaine continued with his answers.

"What happened after that?" Quinn stood from the bar stool and poured herself another cup of coffee.

"She wrote me a check and then tossed me some keys. Told me she had a plan and if I wanted to help I was welcome to stick around," Blaine answered.

"Well, obviously you stuck around. I can't believe you kept this from us?" Quinn set her coffee cup down with a huff and shook her head. "I mean, you were around to see Brittany dealing with it. Granted you didn't know how affected she was because you didn't know her before. But they were best friends. Friends who were in love with each other and are soul mates. You helped keep them apart," Quinn turned towards Blaine, arms folded across her chest.

"Santana needed someone in her corner. She needed to do whatever it was to feel like she could come back to Brittany. I don't know what she was thinking at the time but she hates herself for her life. She hates what she's become. I've been there for her, stitched her back up and was there to listen, not that she ever talked. I tried to convince her to leave or at least let Brittany know she was still alive," Blaine explained, defended.

"I'm not trying to attack you, Blaine. I'm just so mad about this. Brittany was so carefree in this world, it was a rare thing that Santana and I wanted to protect. Nobody would mess with her because her two best friends were the school's biggest bitches. But Santana was the one who ripped that away from her. How can I not be mad about this?" Quinn asked.

"I know you are. You have every right to be," Blaine said.

Quinn shook her head and returned to the bar stool. She could feel the tears of frustration pooling around her eyes and she folded her arms across her chest, "I just don't know what to think about this."

"I didn't at first either. You don't have to have all the answers. Just remember that," Blaine said.

"I don't think I'll ever have all the answers, but I know Santana will and I can't wait to ask her all the questions," Quinn rubbed under her eyes and then ran her hands through her hair in an attempt to regain her calm.

Blaine was quiet for a moment and it quirked Quinn, then Blaine took a deep breath and she knew she wasn't about to like what he was going to say. "I know you want to confront her but the more you push her the more she'll pull back into herself. We may never get the answers, maybe she doesn't know herself. But the facts are that Santana is here now and Steve believes she's dead."

Quinn was quiet for a moment and then the final question for Blaine struck her, "Would Santana ever tell you to bring her here?"

Blaine tensed, not expecting that question. It was all the answer she needed. "She wasn't...She's going to be very pissed with me," Blaine admitted.

"Was she ever going to come here? Come back to us?" Quinn asked with renewed tears. This just felt like such a betrayal. Why couldn't Santana just have dealt with her problems without getting herself into this kind of mess? Where would their lives be now?

"She was trying to. After your coffee date she came up with a plan to fool Steve into believing she was dead again. Her wounds don't match her plan. Steve is...very much in control of his environment, if that makes sense. He knows everything that goes on in the underground. But how he knew what Santana was going to do? I have no clue. It was only ever mentioned between us but I know her wounds are his work. They mirror how I first found her," Blaine tries to answer and speak out his thoughts.

The front door opened and Brittany came in and pulled off her jacket, removed her shoes, and dropped her keys off on the table by the door,all before she turned around and froze where she was standing. Quinn's brow furrowed as she realized Brittany was staring down the hallway. She turned to look at what had Brittany frozen.

Santana leaned against the hall, one hand wrapped tightly against her ribs and she was tucked in on herself. She looked in pain as she pushed from the wall, "Brittany," was just a ghost of a whisper that left her lips.

"Santana," Brittany gasped.

Quinn stood quickly from the bar and Blaine grabbed her arm to keep her still. Quinn didn't really know what she was planning to do once she stood up. Go to Brittany's side for comfort and support or slap the hell out of Santana for putting them in this position.

Brittany took three long strides before she had Santana wrapped firmly in her arms. Santana wrapped her arms around Brittany the best she could before her knees buckled and Brittany was holding her up and then leading her back into Quinn's bedroom. Blaine and Quinn followed and eavesdropped from the hallway.

"_Santana, we can't keep doing this. Either we're going to get caught for having all this equipment and drugs or you're going to get yourself killed. Let's just go, get away from here. They don't know we're friends and I can transfer schools. Kurt and I will be okay but you need to stop doing this to yourself," Blaine wasn't above begging._

"_I'm not leaving New York. I'll pay Steve back and...we'll be free," Santana wouldn't even look at him. Why didn't she want to run away from this mess? He had a feeling it was involved with the one address she had written down, stuffed away under her mattress._

"_Then if we're staying, you should go see her," Blaine said. Santana's shoulders tensed and she shot back a glare at him. Suddenly he understood what Kurt had meant in his past retelling of the Satan cheerleader that stalked the school hallways._

"_This conversation is over. If you want out then leave,"Santana turned away and left Blaine standing alone in the middle of a mini hospital in an ex-Chinese restaurant storage warehouse. He couldn't leave her. Her pain wasn't just physical, it tore down into her soul and left her in shredded pieces that no one could put back together._

_No, Santana needed someone. He probably wasn't the ideal choice for her but he was by the alleyway by fates design. He'd trained in a handful of fighting techniques because he needed to know how to protect himself, and he inspired to be a doctor. Those traits seemed hand tailored for Santana's needs. He was meant to be in her life, to help her. He wasn't about to give up on her._

**AN: Drop me a review or visit my Tumblr (which I recently revamped) Is there anything you all want to see or just feedback in general? I look forward to hearing all your thoughts. **


	11. Chapter 11: Reunion

**Musical inspiration for this chapter: (youtube)watch?v=m7KqpkAjf-4&feature=autoplay&list=UUdO4icVk7Rxv64XqR11krMQ&playnext=14**

"_You've wanted your freedom for so long now. As your parting gift I'm going to give you a life lesson," Steve smirked from above her. She coughed, the warm liquid shooting from between her lips onto her stained hardwood floor of her trashed apartment. "The only freedom you gain is when you're no longer chained to your life."_

_She looked up at him, knowing what was coming. When he raised his foot she didn't wince. As it came crashing down on her temple she didn't feel the crushing pain. He brought his foot down again and she was ready to welcome the blinding darkness that had been looming on the edge since he'd barged into her apartment two days ago._

"_Shame I only ever give this lesson when I'm about to kill you," Steve gloated. He looked down on her, admiring his handiwork. This wasn't the first time she'd been in this position with him. Her arms were bound behind her back, she'd been stripped of her clothing the minute his goons had pinned her down. Her legs were forced apart and most of her body was covered in the marks he'd left on her. She'd long since had feeling in her legs and her back screamed in pain each time one of the gashes were forced back open the bleeding wounds having dried shut._

_She hated this feeling of being helpless and used. He'd brought her to this point once before and she'd come back thinking she could keep herself from this again. She fought back the sob of disgust as her vision was fading. She was so close to being given her freedom. Like the times before,blonde hair and blue eyes invaded the abyss that was smothering her consciousness. She dreamed of her soft laugh, shining eyes and warm smile. She dreamed of home that was in her arms._

_When you die you either go to heaven or hell. She'd been living in hell, wasn't it her time to be in heaven? Did it even work that way?Steve's boot connected to her temple once more and all was lost._

She felt it before she recognized it. With how often she felt pain that should have been reversed. She blinked taking in the soft darkness around her. She rolled her head first and groaned. The smallest movement made her dizzy and she quickly closed her eyes again and just laid there. She could hear voices in another room. As she listened she recognized both.

"I'm not trying to attack you, Blaine. I'm just so mad about this. Brittany was so carefree in this world, it was a rare thing that Santana and I wanted to protect. Nobody would mess with her because her two best friends were the schools biggest bitches. But Santana was the one who ripped that away from her. How can I not be mad about this?" Quinn asked.

Hearing Quinn's comment made the guilt that always resided just under the surface come ripping through her chest in a tidal wave. She was the villain in Quinn's mind and in her own as well. Sure, she was keeping Brittany safe by keeping the larger evil away from her but evil is evil. Her evil was destroying one of the most amazing qualities of her best friend. To take away someone's innocence...one just couldn't be redeemed for that.

She opened her eyes again and found herself in one of the most horribly decorated, 'girly' rooms she'd ever been in. Parts of it struck a familiar chord in her memory. The pale yellow walls, trophies, and a ton of books. Why the hell was she in Quinn's room?

"Would Santana ever tell you to bring her here?" Quinn asked. That confirmed it. Blaine dragged her nearly dead to Quinn and Brittany's apartment. That meant Brittany knew. There was no way she couldn't know. Quinn wouldn't be able to keep her hidden, not with Blaine suddenly around. She pulled herself up while swinging her legs over the side of the bed. All the pain hit her at once and left her gasping for her breath. Everything burned and pulled. Most of the pain was bordering comfort. It was a non-to-friendly reminder that she was still alive. One more chance given to her by fate to get this life right. She wouldn't know until she talked to Brittany if her third chance was the charm, so to speak.

Wanting to push through the pain quickly, she pulled herself her feet. She rubbed at her temples, noting how low the swelling was. She estimated by how far she'd healed so far that she'd only been out for a few days. She took small, slow steps towards Quinn's doorway.

"She wasn't...She's going to be very pissed with me," Blaine admitted. Santana tried to smirk at Blaines comment but her face just didn't want to express that, all of her energy in her shuffling down the hallway. She had a deep rooted feeling that she woke up exactly where she needed to be. Having felt lost since she'd been stabbed, she knew she'd only ever belong where Brittany would be.

"Was she ever going to come here? Come back to us?"Quinn asked. Santana stopped near the end of the hallway. She leaned against the wall and gripped at her side trying to will the fire burning underneath her skin would just let up long enough for her to catch her breath.

"She was trying to. After your coffee date she came up with a plan to fool Steve into believing she was dead again. Her wounds don't match her plan. Steve is...very much in control of his environment, if that makes sense. He knows everything that goes on in the underground. But how he knew what Santana was going to do? I have no clue. It was only ever mentioned between us but I know her wounds are his work. They mirror how I first found her," Blaine answered.

She wasn't too happy that he shared that much but she'd never really told him what he could or couldn't mention. It was always just implied that these were her secrets. She knew her plan had been farfetched but she'd never even been given the chance to attempt it. It was Wednesday afternoon when she was about to head out and savage for some food when the apartment to her door was ripped open and then she'd been pinned down.

"_Ah, my dear idiotic beauty," Steve had his smirk firmly in place as his goon cut her clothes off with his pocket knife. It wasn't that surprising she was finding herself in Steve's poorly imagined porno fantasy. It was more common that she would be double teamed since Steve found more pleasure in struggling and helpless women. He loved seeing tears in woman's eyes as they were filled beyond their pain thresholds. Steve wasn't...big enough to manage that on his own so he always needed help. If she swiftly wanted a bullet between her eyes, she'd insult him on that._

_She knew it was a different situation when her arms were pinned and tied behind her back and Steve brought his foot swiftly into her ribs. She coughed and sputtered then gasped as her neck was tightly in his grip only a second later. "Contract's up," He laughed._

She looked up at the sound of the front door opening and her breath caught in her throat. There she was, the angel in her darkest moments,the driving force that kept her heart beating. She pulled off her jacket, took off her shoes, and dropped her keys. When she turned around, like magnets,their eyes connected with enough force to stop the world from rotating.

She felt like drowning as she was swept away with the blue of Brittany's eyes. All of her emotions swam like ripples underneath those irises. Brittany's name was ripped from her tongue in a breathless gasp.

"Santana," Brittany gasped. Hearing her name covered her in a blanket of warmth that numbed her to her soul. She stood frozen and dazed and then Brittany was wrapping her in her arms and all the strength she thought she possessed washed from her limbs. Brittany caught her and held her just a little bit tighter.

Her knees gave in relief. Having Brittany's arms wrapped around her, it felt like the weight of the world was lifted off her shoulders. This feeling of being home, of where she was always meant to be, was what she'd been fighting for. Brittany helped her back into Quinn's room. She sat on the edge of the bed and Brittany sat in the chair next to her, their hands still tightly grasped in the air between them.

They didn't need to speak at this moment. San didn't pull her gaze away from Brittany's. She saw pain, relief, and that depth Brittany always held while looking at her. It was that look that always made her turn away when they would have sex. It was that look that made her question everything about herself long before Brittany tested her by dating Artie. It was the look she had been longing to see again and now she was lost in it.

Brittany released one of her hands and reached up. Brittany ran her thumb softly over the curve of her cheek and up to her brow, smoothing out the constant scowl lines. She smiled at the soft touch, comfort washing away the pain in her temple.

"I've really missed you," Brittany whispered. She gripped her hand a little tighter knowing that was all her fault.

"I've missed you, too, Britt," She whispered back. Brittany pulled her hand back and reached down to intertwine both hands again.

"I'm scared, San," Brittany looked down at their hands and Santana felt her small smile fade from her lips. She was scared too. She'd been scared ever since Steve had collected her after the Lima incident. How do you escape a man that makes you think of the devil incarnate? How do you protect the ones you love? She'd done the best she could but that fear was always in the pit of her stomach and in her soul she knew that the answer wasn't easy to accept. Her multiple stints of death were evidence of any answer she would receive.

She couldn't stop the tears that pooled behind her dimmed eyes, "I'm so sorry, Brittany." Brittany tightened her grip on her hands and then she was beside her on the bed pulling her back into her embrace. Santana couldn't stop as the tears she'd been holding in since Rachel had driven those words into her soul. Angry sobs ripped through her chest sending wave of burning shocks that left her gasping for more air.

Brittany started to rub on her back but remembered the gashes that riddled the once defined, smooth flesh. She settled for running her fingers through Santana's matted thick hair. She whispered in Santana's ear sweet words of comfort hoping to convince her that she wasn't mad at her.

"I love you Santana. More than I've ever loved anyone in this world. Please don't cry," Brittany whispered. Santana coughed and gasped in pain, burying her face into Brittany's neck. The soothing scent of lavender invaded her scenes and she remembered times where they would be lying in bed,legs tangled and sheets wrapped tightly around them. It reminded her of lazy summer days they spent lounging by the pool or playing in the park. It reminded her of life before death.

"How can you forgive me? I can't," She whispered into Brittany's shoulder but she heard her loud as day.

"Because you are everything in the world to me and I feel so blessed that you aren't dead. I don't want to live in this world without you. I honestly don't know how I would have made it this long without Quinn. Now that I have you here with me, I can't let you go and that requires forgiving you for leaving me," Brittany answered.

Santana listened to the emotion behind Britt's words. She could hear the sob building in Britt's chest and she held her as tight as she could before the muscles in her back began to scream at her. She ignored the pain and held her just a little bit more tighter.

"Please don't leave me again," Brittany begged, gripping at the back of her head and holding her as close as she could.

"Not even death can keep me from you," Santana promised.

"But it did though. That's how this all started," Quinn cut in. She felt Brittany tense and Santana pulled back to look up at Quinn. The rage behind hazel eyes made her blood run cold and then she realized Blaine was standing just behind Quinn and knew that she at least had back up. Blaine understood even if he didn't have the answers and she knew she wouldn't be without a barrier to Quinn's wrath.

"I didn't plan on getting stabbed and when I recovered I was never that far from you two," Santana admitted.

"I thought you were watching over me," Brittany admitted.

"And that makes this better?" Quinn questioned with disbelief."So you know exactly how we were dealing without you? You didn't think to tell us or maybe just leave a hint or something?" Quinn was shouting her questions. San looked back at Brittany and saw her brow furrow together in thought and knew that those were questions know dancing in her head. And if Brittany asked she would answer.

"I should really check on your bandages and stitches," Blaine interfered. He really was sent by some higher power to have her back. She was still reeling from the relief of having Brittany back in her arms again. There was so much they needed to discuss.

Quinn folded her arms roughly. "Fine, but you are going to answer for this Santana. Don't you dare think for a second I will let you anywhere near Brittany if you're only going to hurt her again. Neither of us could survive that this time."

"Quinn, don't," Brittany begged.

"Don't what, Brittany? I promised to take care of you. To keep you safe. And as far as I'm concerned that includes Santana," Quinn shot back.

"I hate to interrupt but I really need to focus to make sure I take care of these properly," Blaine cut in.

"I'll be in the living room then. Britt, a word," Quinn demanded before spinning out of her room and stomping down the hall. Brittany hesitated with San in her arms.

"Go talk to her Britt. I'll still be here," Santana promised. It still took a few seconds before Brittany pulled her arms away from her .Santana immediately felt this hollow feeling in her chest. She only ever felt whole in Brittany's arms. They were soul mates and when it was better between them she was going to share that with her.

Blaine didn't waste time after Brittany left the room but he did work slowly while he changed her bandages and inspected the countless stitches that littered her body. "Quinn is really pissed," Blaine commented.

"I wouldn't expect less. She's always been passionate about things whether they be good or bad. I'm just on the wrong side of that line,"Santana spoke with a sigh. She couldn't say anymore really, this was her fault. Quinn had every right to be mad at her but Santana stood by her actions. She did what she was capable of to keep Brittany safe. She would do it again if the situation was the same. Granted, if she could go back in time then she would have never gone to that warehouse.

Of course that wouldn't solve anything. Had she not gotten herself into this mess then what? It took dying for her to realize what Brittany meant to her. It took losing everything to finally know exactly what she wanted. It took a long time to get here but she was going to do everything to fix this.

"It was really close this time, San. Your apartment was trashed, blood everywhere," Blaine informed her.

"What about the warehouse?" She asked, wincing as he pressed on her ribs.

"Not touched. I don't think they know about it," Blaine answered.

"Good. I want you to sell it and everything in it. I don't need anything tracing you or me to this place. Steve can't know that I'm still alive," Santana said.

"Actually going to stick to that this time?" Blaine asked.

"I'm not losing her again. She's the love of my life and I need to be here to prove that to her. I need to gain Quinn's forgiveness and I can't do either if Steve thinks I escaped his grasp and I will not bring hell like that into their lives," Santana nodded with finality.

"All right. I'll get started on that. What do you want to do with the money?" Blaine asked.

"Just add it to that account," She answered. Blaine nodded and he silently finished checking up on her and changing out her bandages.

"Wow Brittany! It didn't even take you two seconds before you completely forget about the past few years of turmoil she's put you through. How can you forgive her so easily?" Quinn turned back on Brittany, tossing her hands up in the air.

"She's the love of my life, Quinn. When people lose their loved ones to murder they typically don't get them back. I don't want to spend any time being mad at her when I can finally start loving her fully. Don't get me wrong, I'm upset. I hate that she got herself so deep that she's been hurt so badly. I hate that she felt like she had no one and went to that warehouse. I hate those people that kept her from me and I hate that San kept her distance but I'm so relieved that she's actually alive. I'm so over the moon happy that she's here and I can wrap my arms around her. We've already lost so much time,I don't want to waste anymore," Brittany shot back at her.

Quinn's shoulders slumped, "I just can't help being furious with her. I saw how lost you became and all this time she was lurking in the shadows and getting drunk or high."

"Your allowed to be angry Quinn. I don't blame you and Santana gets that. I just don't want to be angry with her. I just want to love her,"Brittany said before pulling Quinn in a tight hug. Quinn hugged her back just as tight and nodded against the side of her head.

Quinn pulled back, "What do we do now?"

"We heal emotionally and we help San heal physically as well. We keep each other safe and piece our lives back together. I'm not losing her again. I can't," Brittany stated with a firm nod. That was the plan and Quinn could like it or not. After a few long seconds Quinn nodded as well.

Brittany went back down the hall and stood in the doorway watching as Blaine finished up. Santana would wince or hiss in pain but she wouldn't stop Blaine from doing what he needed to. It was fluid, practiced and seeing how it was easy between them just broke her heart a little bit more. This was oblivious something that happened often. She never wanted to see it again after this point on.

"All done. I don't think the scarring will be bad this time. Most of the ones on your back overlap so they'll probably just thicken up. Your ribs should heal fine so long as you don't strain them in the next few weeks,"Blaine gave Santana an update as he cleaned up his supplies.

"Thanks doc," San said, pulling her shirt back down.

"You're going to make a great doctor," Brittany's voice alerted them to her presence in the doorway.

"Well practice does make perfect, just wish I didn't have so much of it," Blaine spoke with a small smile and Santana looked down at her hands.

"How about we get you moved over to my room. I think Quinn would like her bed back," Brittany suggested.

"Sure, if you grab some sheets I'll change her linens for her," Santana said and Blaine helped her to her feet.

"Nope. I'm going to get you changed into some fresh clothes and all tucked into bed and I'll come back over to change them," Brittany said.

"That's not," Brittany walked over quickly and cut Santana off with a finger to her lips. Santana's breath caught in her throat.

"Come on," Brittany wrapped her arms around her again and helped her across the hall. Blaine's small smile stretched just a little bit more before he turned to Quinn's bed and stripped it to help Brittany out.

Brittany led her into her room. San was taken aback from how different it seemed from Brittany's last bedroom. Before the walls were a mint green and now they were a foggy blue. On her desk was her laptop and a stack of envelops. There was also a bookshelf but it didn't have that much on it. A pin board hung on the wall with a ton of pictures pinned to it.

Brittany helped her sit down on top of the bed and then went to rummage in her closet for some clothes. She emerged with some old cheer sweats and a tank top. San hesitated before stripping down and changing. She expected to hear Brittany gasp in shock from her body but Brittany stayed quiet and watched with pale eyes.

Once she was done changing Britt helped her into bed which took a few minutes to get her comfortable enough for the pain to settle down enough for her to rest. As soon as her head hit the pillow she became exhausted. "I'll be right back," Brittany promised before quickly slipping out of her room. Before Brittany could return she had slipped back into unconsciousness with a feeling of hope. A feeling she hadn't felt in so long, it took her moments to realize what it was. Now that it had settled in her chest, she didn't want it to escape her grasp but only the coming days would really know if this business of hers was finally over.

**Authors Note: Thanks to everyone who left reviews for the last chapter. I love hearing what you all have to say and I'm really excited to know what you all think of this one. So to add more to this story, it now has an official soundtrack which I will list on my Tumblr account. Most of the songs are performed by Trading Yesterday. As you saw one of the links was posting at the first of this chapter. I'm also looking for help making a cover art for this. If anyone is interested please PM me or hit up my Tumblr ask box. I hope you all enjoyed this reunion. **


	12. Chapter 12: Chun Li Omelets

Santana slept only for a few hours. Her muscles were tense and a deep ache had been setting in since she'd first woken up. It was always like this after a particularly hard evening. She needed something to take the edge out of her muscles and bones. Normally she would just dip into the massive stash of painkillers she kept hidden in her apartment but she was nowhere near her apartment and she wasn't about to attempt to sneak out and go over there. She was very tempted to see what Brittany and Quinn had stashed in her medicine cabinet but she had a feeling it wouldn't go over well with Quinn if she was caught. She'd have to wait till Blaine came back today and brought her something.

So instead of focusing on the pain she sat against the headboard and looked down at Brittany sleeping peacefully beside her. Her golden hair was sprawled around her on the pillow, a soft smile at the corner of her lips. The tips of Brittany's fingers were curled around her t-shirt and holding it tightly in a small grip. Brittany always was so honest in her sleep. When they had been sleeping together before the Artie incident, Brittany would bury her nose in the space where her jaw and neck met. She would nuzzle there all night and it stirred something deep within Santana's chest where it had been getting harder to pull away before the sunlight hours. Now Brittany was clutching at her in her sleep as if she was afraid Santana would slip away again like she used to.

She wasn't going anywhere. She'd spent far to long away from her and not even the end of the world would take her away from Brittany. She nodded to herself as if she didn't already know that this is where she belonged. She was only ever meant to be with Brittany, safely tucked away in each other's arms. Now that she'd managed to find her way back, she wasn't going to get lost again. But part of her worried.

Sure, Brittany had said she'd forgiven her and only wanted to hold on to her but wouldn't her secrets just drive them apart? She'd put herself into a mess with no clean exit. If Steve ever found out she wasn't actually dead, he could very well come after the four of them. She couldn't risk that, couldn't risk Brittany's innocence anymore. No, she would die before she let anything or anyone hurt Brittany ever again. But would the secret of Santana's scars eventually pull at Brittany and beg for answers and would Brittany ever look at her the same if she knew exactly what she had sacrificed in her mistake?

She tried to push her darkening thoughts from her mind. She couldn't dwell on the past when her present was the only dream she wished to become reality. She smiled softly and tucked the stray strand of hair behind Brittany's ear. The fingers on her shirt tugged tighter till it was a full grasp right over her stomach. Brittany shifted a bit, till her head was tucked into Santana's side. She readjusted slightly to relieve a bit of the pressure on her ribs and then began to run her fingers through Brittany's hair in long soft motions. She rested her head back on the headboard knowing that she would be content to spend the rest of eternity just like this...well minus the deep trembling ache that pounded through her body in time with her heartbeats.

The blue neon glow of Brittany's alarm clock ticked by throughout the rest of morning. Around five the calming silence was interrupted by the beeping that was damped through the layers of wall. After a few second sit stopped and was followed by the creaking of doors opening and the soft padding of foot falls on the carpet in the hallway, all signs that Quinn was up and about.

After another thirty minutes the door to Brittany's room opened and in the soft light from the living room that ghosted down the hallway she could see Quinn beckoning her to join. She tried not to gulp like the characters in Brittany's cartoons when they got caught doing something wrong but she was sure Quinn could hear the thick gulp she suddenly took.

She looked down at Brittany still resting peacefully and smiled again, something that wasn't hard to do around her. She ran her fingers gently down Brittany's ribcage and around her side to run up her spine to her neck where she tickled her hairline. Without fail Brittany shuddered and shifted. It was brief but Santana was prepared for it and slipped out without notice from underneath Brittany's warm grip.

"How did you?" Quinn whispered when Santana joined her in the hallway and softly closed the door to Britt's room.

"It's a trick I've used for years, since before our first cheerleading camp," She answered, resting her hand on the bedroom door, wishing that she was still tightly tucked up with Brittany.

"Let me just guess how you've used it all this time," Quinn's comment was short and dripping with a venomous sarcasm. It made her insides flip and squeeze all at the same time which was almost as uncomfortable as the rubbing of her tee against her raw back.

"I take it that would be something added to your 'I hate the Satan spawn' list that you're carrying around in your back pocket?" Santana asked, trying not to roll her eyes which was a habit she'd been lacking in practice recently. Most days she only winced or just simply squeezed her eyes shut but she didn't want to think of the circumstances that led to those.

"Some of us weren't completely blind back in middle school and high school. I think you would have eventually learned to stay in bed and how to share a meal before school hours," Quinn shot back.

"Did everyone know?" She asked, wondering just how void of the social circle she really had been.

"No. I didn't even really know myself until well after the fact. Speaking of this horrible awkward rainbow that we're dancing around, we need to discuss this," Quinn rolled her eyes for her and pulled her out of the hallway and into the living room.

"What is it?" Santana asked, really wanting to get past the tough conversations and get to the happy ending she'd been anticipating happening.

"I need to know that you're not going to disappear again or get stabbed and die or some shit. I need to know that it's safe for me to leave Brittany here with the one person in the world who can shatter her into a million pieces," Quinn demanded, hands on her hips.

"I'm not going anywhere, Quinn. I just can't leave her,"Santana looked down at her folded hands and squeezed them tight in determination. She wouldn't go anywhere without her. Not ever again and now that she had her reason for living just waiting for her in the other room, she sure as hell wasn't going to get herself stabbed again.

"I remember a certain Spanish cursing firecracker threatening my life if I didn't keep Brittany safe and I've done that. I've gone above and beyond on that promise but never in my life did I think I would have to protect her from you," Quinn's words dove a million scorching needles into her still bleeding heart. Quinn was nothing but right. How had she twisted this reality up so much that instead of being Brittany's white and shining armor, she was instead the villain keeping her locked away in some tower?

"I was lost before. I had no idea what I was so confused and broken about. Sure, I knew what I felt for Brittany was stronger than anything in this world but at the same time I knew that the world thought it was wrong and I was conflicted on that. I couldn't process my own thoughts and feelings without feeling like I was suffocating in my own misery and I didn't want to be alone in that so I tried to drag everyone else down with me. I wanted to silence the storm inside of me and I did it the only way I knew how, by drinking and getting high. Not once did it occur to me that I wasn't only hurting myself but I was hurting you and Brittany. I don't ever want to go back there Quinn, I don't ever want to go back to that," Her voice broke at the end of her little speech. Suddenly she felt warm hands on her shoulders and then Quinn was kneeling in front of her.

"I get it, I do," Quinn looked into her eyes and nodded briefly, "She loves you and you love her. Let's not mess that up this time. Okay? I doubt fate hands out a third chance." Then Quinn was hugging her and it seemed that Quinn wasn't as pissed at her as she was yesterday but that didn't mean the uphill battle was over, but the grass sure was getting greener.

They remained hugging for a good few minutes and Santana picked up on another reason that Quinn was so pissed with her. Quinn had lost one of her best friends when she'd died and with that she also lost a large piece of Brittany. Quinn wasn't just mad for Brittany's sake but also for her own. Santana hugged her just a little bit tighter.

"I'm not going to leave you again, either," She whispered her promise and Quinn tensed up in her arms.

"Please don't. It was hard not having you there anymore,"Quinn released her and pulled back, "You didn't just protect Brittany, you were my hero too."

"Only I'm allowed to make fun of the Unholy Mary," Santana remembered her constant threat to anyone other than her that tried to take potshots at Quinn.

"You were my best friend too. Sure we weren't sleeping together and we were constantly fighting over head cheerio but I lost you too,"Quinn said.

"I'm so sorry, Quinn. I just wanted to work through my shit. I never wanted to hurt anyone else," She shook her head, trying not to let the emotion build and overflow into a cry mess that would surly wake up Brittany in the other room.

"That's just it though. When someone hurts, so do those closest to them. That day Rachel put her foot in her mouth, Brittany actually lost it. She shot to her feet and chewed everyone out. Even slapped the hell out of Artie and then she was out the door chasing after you. She was in just as much pain as you were. And so was I. I just didn't lash out like Brittany did,"Quinn looked down at her hands while she spook. Quinn and Brittany were always so good with emotions and knew that she just couldn't publicly deal with them like a normal person so Quinn was trying to give her the space to deal with what she was hearing.

Brittany ran after her. If so that meant that Brittany had gone to her house looking for her. All of those chances to stop her from making the one mistake that plagued her for years now. Some higher power had been trying to save them. She felt so much more horrible about what she'd done. She could have walked just a bit slower to her car, or waited a few more seconds before pulling off. She could have answered the door that night instead of lying in the floor wasted and looking for more drugs. She could have just not gone to the warehouse at all. Hell, she should have just walked to Brittany's house like she always did and curled up in her arms and just cried out the pain instead of trying to drown it.

"Stop that. The past is the past. Now we have the future to make it right," Quinn said pulling Santana out of her mental spiral.

Santana looked up and swallowed with a heavy nod, "I don't belong anywhere else. I don't want to be anywhere else. I'm so in love with her and I've wasted to much time to revert back to the high school me. When she wakes up I'm going to tell her everything; that I'm gay, that I'm in love with her. So long as she still wants me here, I won't go anywhere."

"Good. I was hoping this Santana didn't have her head so far up her ass like high school Santana did," Quinn spoke with a small smile and she couldn't help but not return it. She really did have her head up her ass in high school.

"Much rather you have your head up a vagina," Quinn joked and Santana stared at her gobsmacked. Did Quinn 'Jesus loving' Fabary just make a horrible gay joke?

"That was bad, Quinn," Santana said, jawing hanging low in shock.

"Eh," Quinn shrugged, "You would think I would have practiced more gay jokes between Kurt and you running around. Guess I'll have to brush upon some if I'll have a target to shot them at."

"Oh, okay. Picking on the lesbian is your new favorite hobby," Santana said crossing her arms, "Be careful what you do cause I won't hesitate to go All Lima Heights on you."

"Wouldn't it be all 'Chun Li' on your ass, now?" Quinn asked with a small smirk.

"Huh?" She asked, clearly confused.

"You're a street fighter, or were. Chun Li was a street fighter and pretty bad ass if you ask me. Clearly you didn't spend enough time with Sam outside of the bed," Quinn answered.

"Hot street fighter huh? Should we be questioning your gay factor? Cause it sounds to me like you've been checking out some ladies yourself," She fired back.

Quinn shrugged, "Hey, I've got eyes for a reason."

Santana's jaw dropped even more and then she reached out and smacked Quinn on the shoulder. Quinn jumped up and laughed before heading towards the apartment door. "I've got to head into work. I won't be back until later and I think Brittany has to work tonight. I doubt she'll go in though with you here. I better come back to a peaceful apartment," Quinn threatened. With a quick gesture of Quinn pointing at her eyes and then at Santana in a motion of 'I'll be watching you', Quinn was out the door and leaving her in a quiet apartment with a sleeping Brittany.

She sat there for just a moment while processing her morning so far. Things with Quinn weren't going to be easy. She'd broken their trust and it was going to take a long time before things were even remotely close to where they were before. Not that she would ever want to return to that simply because of who she'd been. No, she wanted to be strong for Brittany and try to earn her heart again. She wanted to be everything that Brittany deserved to have.

She eventually forced herself to move up and off the couch. She appreciated her small victory over the pain still pulsing through her body as she rummaged through the unorganized kitchen. Nothing made sense in this room till she figured out why. Brittany must be in charge of this room, so she took a step back and processed what she'd found so far and then the kitchen made sense. It only took her a few minutes to find all of the pots and pans and utensils for her to make Britt breakfast in bed.

She chopped up the green onions, turkey, and tomatoes before beating the eggs to perfection. Once the skillet was hot and ready she poured in the eggs and ingredients and made Brittany the perfect omelet. She hadn't cooked like this in years but after burning the first omelet which she deemed for herself, she got the next one right.

She heard shuffling behind her and turned to find Brittany sitting in at the bar with her head resting on one hand, "Hey."

Santana couldn't help smiling at the sight before her. This was something she'd never thought she'd get to see again. "Hi," She whispered back and then placed the plate of steaming food in front of her. She went to the fridge and took out the juice, pouring them both a large glass. She downed half of her glass before Brittany even picked up her fork and knife. Brittany just stared at her for a moment after her large 'sip' and then cut into her food.

"You remembered?" Brittany asked. She looked back from the fridge after refilling her cup and just looked at Brittany with a blank expression before it clicked. If she didn't need the vitamins of this juice she'd be drinking coffee and wouldn't have stood there waiting for her brain to decode what Brittany was saying.

"I could never forget anything about you Britt," She promised.

"Oh. I wasn't sure, I mean. I didn't know. It's been so long," Brittany stuttered before just staring down at her breakfast. She knew Britt was beating herself up in her head. She set down her cup of juice and walked over to Brittany. She reached up and placed a timid finger under Brittany's chin and gently tugged till she was looking at her.

"I know I've been gone for too long. I know I messed up horribly and that things are different now. You're different and I'm different but I promise you I'm not going anywhere. I'm going to learn all the new things about you and I will cherish every single one of them. I will make up all this lost time to you and I will do my best to be what you deserve," She promised while looking into those piercing blue eyes that warmed her heart.

"You don't have to be anything but you San. I only ever wanted you and everything that comes with it," Brittany whispered. She shook her head softly but Brittany continued, "You don't have to make up for lost time."

"I've missed you," She whispered while reaching up and cupping Brittany's cheek softly. Brittany smiled back and leaned into her touch. "We should eat, I'm starving," She pulled back and reached for her slightly burnt omelet. She could feel Brittany staring at her and when she took a quick peek out of the corner of her eye, Brittany was sitting there beaming at her with a smile that could light up all of New York.


	13. Chapter 13: Steamy

They finished their omelets in a comfortable silence. That was one thing Santana had been worried about, would it be like it was before? It used to be that they could just sit with each other and not have to talk. It was peaceful and perfect and breakfast was exactly like that. It brought her hope that she could have it; a life with the person she was in love with. Isn't that what everyone hoped for?

Brittany helped her with the dishes. She scrubbed them down while Brittany dried and put everything away. When Santana finished she drained the sink and then leaned against it as Brittany dried the last dish and placed it in the cabinet next to the dishwasher. Brittany folded the dishrag and hung it off the handle to the stove and then mimicked her stance against the counter.

"What do you want to do today?" She asked with a small smile.

"I want you to rest. We can just hang here," Brittany answered with a shrug.

"I'm fine Britt, I don't have to be on bed rest," She replied, folding her arms over her chest. It was defensive she knew, but Blaine always gave her grief about resting but she was fine. She just needed to move around and work out the soreness in her muscles. The cuts would heal eventually and then it would only be a memory of the past.

"You're covered in stitches and bandages, which I should change for you anyway," Brittany shot back.

"I'm really am fine, Britt. I don't want you to worry about it," She said stepping away from the counter and closer towards Brittany. Brittany's brow was furrowed together and her shoulders were tensed. Santana braced herself to be confronted about it.

"I am worrying about it. Someone hurt you and it's not like they just dropped you from the pyramid. You're bruised and cut up and I can see you shifting weight off your left leg every few seconds. Please, can we just rest here?" Brittany asked, dropping her shoulders.

Santana sighed and resigned that really she shouldn't have expected anything less. Of course Brittany wouldn't want to do anything with her looking like the walking dead. She'd always been that way. When she'd come over after fights or rough practices, Brittany would force her to lie down and rest until she could move without wincing. Most times it had led to make out sessions until she had started to date stiff leg on wheels. She almost rolled her eyes at the thought but caught herself. Brittany was staring her down and would have thought the eye roll was for her request. She didn't want to hurt Britt's feelings, everything was still so fragile and it was her job not to screw it up.

As of right now, it was her biggest fear. Not the fact that Steve could find out she was still alive and come finish her off, properly. No, she was afraid of screwing up with Brittany. She'd lost everything when she'd said goodbye. Sure, Brittany had held her last night and told her she was forgiven and that she loved her but today was really the test. Could she be with her finally? Was it really her time to finally start living?

"We can do whatever you want Britt," She gave in, not like it was really a battle to do so. She just wanted her, and she would do whatever to make Brittany happy again.

Brittany jumped in excitement,"Excellent. Now go get comfy on the couch."

Santana laughed and nodded as she watched Brittany run out of the kitchen and down the hall towards her bedroom. She hobbled over to the living room couch and winced as she sat down. Once she was off her feet, the blood pounding through her legs shot pins and needles around one particularly bad cut that was stitched up. Her thighs ached from the bruising but after readjusting for a few minutes she sighed as she finally got comfortable.

Brittany burst back into the room with a stack of DVD's in her hands. She turned on the TV and popped in a disc from one of the box sets she was holding. She waited till the screen loaded and the start menu for Sweet Valley High popped up.

"You never finished the series did you?" Brittany asked as she bounced across the room to join her on the couch.

"I never watched any episodes without you," She answered. Sweet Valley High was their show and she hadn't seen an episode since the last one they had watched together.

"Well, then we have a lot to catchup on. The series finale was last year so we have two and a half sessions to watch. You won't believe who ended up with who," Brittany says getting comfortable next to her on the couch and pulling the fuzzy blanket over them. Brittany curled into her side and pressed play on the remote.

She didn't follow the first five minutes of the episode at all as she relished in the feeling of having Brittany snuggled up to her again. A small smile curled around Brittany's lips. "Pay attention San," She adjusted slightly, leaning her head down on her shoulder. Santana couldn't help the smile that spread across her lips as she leaned her head against Britt's on her shoulder.

For the next few hours they went through a handful of episodes with teenage drama angst that reminded her of their high school that she was so happy to be free of. It was a headache remembering who all slept with who and who was fighting for whose boyfriends. Looking back, she really wished she had saved herself from that drama by just coming out and claiming Brittany as her girlfriend. Perhaps things would have been so much simpler. But then she thinks of how Kurt was treated and run off from their school. She wouldn't have let that happen to Brittany but would she have been strong enough to keep them safe?

"What are you thinking about?" A smooth stroke against her temple brought her out of her thoughts. She looked down at Brittany. Her blonde hair was pulled back in a loose ponytail, and her brows were furrowed together again.

"Thinking about how things could have been different," She answered.

"San, don't think about that. You'll just drive yourself crazy with what ifs. Let's just focus on the future and be together," Brittany said reaching up and tracing her brow before running her fingers softly down her cheek to her neck where they stopped and curled around, resting there.

She smiled and leaned into her touch, "When did you get so smart?"

"You're the only one who ever says I'm smart," Brittany whispered sitting up more.

"You're a genius Britt. Everyone else is an idiot," Santana shrugged and rolled her eyes. People must have still treated Brittany bad after she'd 'died'. It just stirred the anger in the pit of her stomach. That was her fault. If she'd been around Brittany would have heard just how smart she was and everyone else would have gotten a taste of her Lima Heights hospitality. Hell, she would have gone all Chun Li on their asses like Quinn said. As she thinks about though, she probably wouldn't have beaten anyone up. Brittany hates violence and for good reason, look what it's gotten her after all these years. She pushed the thoughts from her mind and leaned back, enjoying the feel of Brittany with her as they watched hours of mindless TV.

"I should go to work soon,"Brittany said once she realized the time. She had promised Rick she would come in early today since she left early last night. She really didn't want to go,not now after finally having Santana in her arms and awake. She was an adult now and that meant paying the rent, even if she didn't technically owe Quinn rent anyway.

"Okay," Santana whispered. Brittany pulled back and looked up at her, her fingers still resting on Santana's neck,playing with the fine hairs there.

"I don't want to though," Brittany confessed. San smiled and then chuckled.

"Then don't go Britt," San suggested with a smirk. She really wanted to do that, to just stay right hereon the couch in this perfect bubble with Santana while watching Sweet Valley High. But she was a responsible person now and no one would take that seriously if she didn't do what was expected of her. She sighed and she pulled herself up, she would go in for a few hours and hope to get off early again. It was the first of the week and typically the bar wasn't really that busy as it got later at night. Mostly she would be there all night if it was a Saturday or Sunday night. Luckily, Tuesday's were easy nights.

"I'm an adult now, I have to go to work," She knew she looked like a sad puppy now and San looked up at her with a understanding pout. After all these years she could still know what her pout meant. Quinn would probably think it was a childish 'stay with me' pout but she knew Santana understood she needed to go to work and that was what the pout was for. It comforted her that she could still translate her looks and eye rolls. Just another sign that they were meant to be. It was just a matter of time before it happened for them. She couldn't rush it, despite the fact that her lips looked so kissable right now.

Was that too fast? If she kissed her right here and now? Santana had only been alive for her just under a week now, most of which she was unconscious. Santana had missed her, but did she miss the kisses, cuddles, and intense moments they'd shared? She wouldn't know unless she asked but those words just wouldn't form for her. She'd been trying all morning.

"Well, you don't want to be late. Go play adult and I'll stay here and rest. Maybe I'll catch up on the rest of Sweet Valley High," Santana said before reaching over to the coffee table to grab the remote. She settled back down into the couch and picked the next episode.

"Okay, I'll go get ready then,"With that said she headed back to her bedroom and picked out her work outfit for the night. She took a quick shower, applied makeup, and fixed her hair all while her thoughts revolved around Santana in the next room. Would she still be here when she got back? Was she okay to be left alone with her injuries? Would Blaine be by today to take a look at them? Did Santana want to kiss her just as much as she did?

Her head was spinning with questions when she stumbled back into the living room. Santana was barely keeping her eyes open while watching the TV drama play out some chick fight over some jock. She looked so comfy cozy on the couch while wrapped up in that big blanket. Aside from the bruising around her face, it would look like a scene right out of the past. It made her heart squeeze unbearably tight.

"Do you know when you get off?"Santana asked, looking up from the couch. Brittany couldn't help the smile on her lips. This had been a dream for her and it was reality. There had to be some kind of higher power right? She got Santana here on her couch, planning to still be here. Her smile fell quickly though, what if whoever did this came looking for her? What if she wasn't here to keep Santana safe? Sure, she hated violence but she wasn't opposed to cutting someone if they threatened Santana. Granted that was a little of Santana talking in her but it was truth. She would do whatever it takes to keep her safe from here on out. She wasn't going to make the same mistakes she did when they were in high school.

"I don't know how late I'll be. Depends on how busy we are," She answered, finally remembering that Santana had asked her a question.

"It's Tuesday right? Are you typically busy?" Santana asked, scrunching up her nose. It was one of her cutest looks and Brittany was hit with another rush of wanted to smother her in kisses.

"Normally slow. I definitely won't be closing down tonight. At least I hope not," She shrugged. Sometimes Amy would disappear and leave her the bar to cover. It didn't bother her much cause she typically got more tips with just her working and with more money the more she had in savings. That only meant that when she finally figured out what she wanted to do with life, she'd be able to at least afford to get started on it. Now that Santana was here she could start to plan her future. It finally felt like she had one, even though things weren't clear between them or that she even had any answers about what had happened.

"Sweet. I'll be here when you get back," Santana promised with a short nod and small smile.

"You promise?" She asked. She believed Santana, she did. But she couldn't shake the feeling that perhaps she would wake up and this was just some twisted nightmare again and that Quinn would be there holding her while she cried herself awake. Not that that had happened more times than she could count.

"I'm not going anywhere, Britt. I'm here with you for as long as you'll have me," Santana promised before she forced herself to her feet and pulled Brittany into a warm, tight hug. Feeling those strong arms around her again, it was just what she needed. It was a feeling of being home, and comfort, warmth, and peace. It was all the feelings she'd been missing.

She buried her face in the crook of Santana's neck and breathed deeply, committing the sweetness of Santana's skin to memory. Her biggest regret was that she couldn't remember these details about Santana. She couldn't remember their last kiss, what she'd tasted like,smelt like. It had driven her crazy and made her ache in all the uncomfortable places.

Neither one of them wanted to pull away but eventually Santana did while looking over at the wall clock. "You should head to work," She whispered. Brittany nodded and pulled back all the way before taking a deep breath and walking towards the front door. She slipped on her shoes, jacket and grabbed her keys.

Before she left she took one really hard look at Santana, memorizing everything about her in that moment. Santana must have figured her out because her smile wasn't a happy one, it was filled with sadness and her eyes held a depth of regret in them. She smiled, wanting to reassure her she was forgiven. Santana nodded softly like she understood that message and shuffled back towards the couch. Brittany walked out, closed, and locked the door behind her.

She made it down the hall before stopping in front of the stairs. What was she doing? Would it always be tense if they parted, as if they wouldn't see each other again? If that was the last time she would ever see Santana again did she want it to be a memory of sad gazing and regretful looks? No, she wanted it to be passionate like they were. She wanted it to be intense like her love for her. Screw timing and convention or what not. She took a deep breath and walked briskly back to her apartment.

Santana wasn't on the couch when she stormed back in. She had a brief moment of panic but remembered that no one had come in or out since she'd left the apartment and stood in front of those stairs for who knew how long. She heard the water running in the shower and she marched down the hall and towards the door. She took a deep breath before swinging the door open and stepping inside.

Santana jumped in shock and turned towards Brittany in confusion, her hand still partway under the shower testing the water temperature, "Britt, did you forget.."

She cut Santana off as she took one step forward and gripped at Santana's jaw pulling her flush against her. Her lips crashed against Santana's and they both breathed in gasps of shock from the connection. Brittany turned her head slightly and closed her lips around Santana's, her fingers gripping tightly not wanting to ever let Santana go again.

Lips moved against her in return,hands sliding to her waist and slipping to wrap around her back and pull them closer together. They kissed and gripped, gasped and panted around each other lips. The room filled with steam from the forgotten shower. Nothing mattered in that moment but their lips moving against each other.

Brittany finally pulled back taking a much needed gulp of air. They rested their foreheads against each other and Brittany's fingers slipped down from Santana's jaw to rest at her neck. Santana still gripped at the back of her shirt, keeping them pressed tightly together.

"What?" It was all Santana could gasp out while trying to regain her breath.

"I don't want to waste any more time with you Santana," Brittany gasped back. Santana shook her head, their foreheads rubbing together as sweet peaked over the skin from the humidity in the room from the shower.

"I don't either Britt," San breathed out. Brittany leaned down again and captured her lips in another frenzy of kisses. Santana held on tightly, tight grips of her shirt in each hand. She rubbed her thumbs against the edges of Santana's jaw, fingers gripping at the back of her neck keeping them locked together.

Her tongue peaked out and teased against Santana's bottom lip. Lips parted and tongues dueled and explored. Their lips were becoming bruised from the intensity that they keep kissing but neither wanted to let the other go. Santana broke the kiss first, gasping for more air.

"What about work?" She panted and kissed Brittany before she could even answer. She had forgotten the question by the time Santana released her lips again for more air.

"Screw work, I'd rather be herewith you," Brittany gasped, moving one hand down tracing Santana's collar bone then down her chest between the valley of her breast and to the bottom of her shirt. She took siege of Santana's lips again and slipped her hand underneath Santana's shirt, tracing the rough ridges that outlined her abs. Brittany discovered by touch that there was nothing soft in Santana's body. Before it was soft skin against tight abs but now it was all muscle and her fingers glided over it without any give. Her stomach flipped in all the right ways as she traced up abs, then ribs, before hitting the only softness on Santana's torso, her chest.

Santana pulled back for air, her hands having long slipped underneath Brittany's shirt. Her fingers were teasing under the edge of Brittany's bra clasp but as Brittany's fingers traced underneath her shirt, she couldn't help that her gasp was from pain and not pleasure. The bruising was still tender and she knew Brittany was being as gentle as possible but her body just didn't want to cooperate with what was happening.

Brittany's haze lifted and she realized what was happening. She was glad it was but she noticed that Santana was squeezing her eyes shut and not in an 'oh my god, please just rip my clothes off already' kind of way. She removed her hand quickly and took a step back.

Santana swayed from the sudden lack of support and Brittany quickly steadied her. Their lips were swollen, breaths coming in quick and short. Both of their cheeks were rosy, a feat for Santana since she was of a darker tone and it took a lot more to show. Brittany smirked with pride of getting Santana to blush like that. The smirk dropped quickly when she remembered why she needed to take a step back.

"I'm so sorry, San. Are you okay?"She asked.

"Never better," Santana managed between breaths before the largest, goofiest grin took over her face. "Please kiss me again."

"I would love to, but I don't think I can without touching you," Brittany confessed.

"Don't worry about that. I didn't really feel any pain," Santana attempted to lie.

"Nope. I'm not going to hurt you, no matter how awesome our sweet lady kisses are. I think we need to stop and get you cleaned up before we run out of hot water," Brittany said noticing just how much fog had filled the bathroom.

"Does that mean you're not going into work?" Santana asked with a shy smile.

"I don't feel like being an adult today. You get in the shower and I'll call in sick," Brittany answered before placing a quick kiss on Santana's pouted lips. She pulled back before it could get out of control again and slipped out of the bathroom, closing the door behind her. She slumped against the frame and couldn't stop the smile that took over her face. She wasted no time pulling out her phone and calling in sick to work. She had her woman to take care of and that was all she wanted to focus onto day.

**Authors note: So love me or hate me? LOL. Like I posted on tumblr (seriously if your not following me your missing out on the good stuff)((wigster07 . Tumblr . com)) I mentioned that I didn't have an end in sight for this fic. Meaning, I have a lot planned but I also have something else on my mind. **

**I traveled to the dark side of the internet and visited the Glee Kink Meme and discovered a few that I would like to fill. I actually have an idea that will combine three and I'd like to turn it into a full fic that would be purely a set up for lots of smut. I'm thinking Were/GP Santana with Innocent Brittany. Would anybody actually be interested in reading that? And just to reassure you this fic is my number one! Sometimes it just helps if I have something to just get my mind off of pre cal homework. **

**Anywho! Leave me thoughts, questions, suggestions, and ideas. I love hearing from you all and look forward to a full ask box and lots of reviews. **


	14. Chapter 14: Ask me

Brittany kissed her. She stared at her reflection in the mirror, repeating that to herself. Brittany kissed her. She just ripped open that door, grabbed a hold of her, and kissed her. Her memories did no justice to the feeling of Brittany's lips on hers. The feeling of her soft but desperate touch at her neck and the burning trail they had left as they danced under her shirt.

She didn't stay in the shower long, to eager to get back into Brittany's arms but as she stared at herself she couldn't help but stand there stunned. Brittany wanted her in every sense that Santana wanted her. It was as if the stars were lining up and the angels were singing. This is what was supposed to happen for them but it didn't stop the panic that bubbled up inside her.

What if's played in her mind. What if her scars scared Brittany away? What if Steve found her and hurt Brittany for revenge? What if she couldn't give Brittany everything she desired and deserved? What the hell was she going to do?

She looked herself over in the mirror, fresh clothes hugging her body and the old bandages tossed away. Some of her scars were visible and the bruising was still dark on her skin. She looked rough, rougher than she felt. She took a deep breath and nodded at her reflection as she came to a decision. If Brittany asked, she would answer. No matter the fear of Brittany's possible negative reaction. She'd fought so hard to get here, to be with Brittany again, she wasn't about to let anything come in between that, even if it was herself.

She opened the bathroom door and stepped out into the hallway. The bedroom lights were off so she made her way into the living room. Brittany was sitting on the couch with her feet tucked underneath her as she shuffled through the first aid kit. Her blonde hair fell around her face and she hadn't noticed Santana's appearance yet.

"Looks like you're running low. I'm sure Blaine will bring some," She whispered, not wanting to startle Brittany.

She looked up at Santana and smiled. It was bright and filled with hope and promises. It was a Brittany smile and it warmed everything in her from her toes to the ends of her hair. She felt on fire and alive with Brittany smiling at her like that. She felt like she was finally where she belonged.

"I've got enough to hold you over till he brings some," She said patting the spot next to her on the couch. Santana didn't waste any time to join her and a small shiver traveled down her spine when she brushed against Brittany's arm.

Brittany shifted to sit looking at Santana, the first aid kit left open on the coffee table, "Take your shirt off." Brittany wasn't looking at her when she made that request so she didn't see how Santana stiffened and her eyes filled with panic. Just because she didn't see didn't mean her senses weren't already back in tune to Santana.

Brittany looked back up at her and studied her face quickly. Santana couldn't help it. The what if's started a new rampage through her mind. She couldn't show Brittany. She couldn't lose her not but twenty minutes after finally getting her back in her arms.

Brittany intertwined their fingers together and brought Santana out of her panic induced haze. "It's okay San. I know," She whispered.

That was not what she expected or wanted to hear. She began to breathe short and quick and felt her head become light and everything started to spin in the room. She didn't feel as Brittany reached up and cupped her cheek with her free hand, or how Brittany turned her to look at her. She just kept hearing that Brittany knew. She knew and all Santana could think was that she shouldn't know, that Brittany didn't need to be tainted with the darkness the world kept hidden.

Brittany watched as Santana began to hyperventilate and her words and comforting touches weren't getting her to calm down. She did the only thing left that came to mind. She kissed Santana. Her lips rested against Santana's and when she felt them flex against her own, she knew she had Santana's attention again and that she would be calming down.

This kiss was much different that the one in the bathroom. This was soft and gentle and reassuring that the world wasn't ending. This was an action to show each other that it was okay and they loved each other. For Santana the world stopped spinning and now she couldn't catch her breath for a much better reason.

Brittany pulled back, squeezing Santana's hand in reassurance. "It's okay Santana. I know about your scars. I don't know how you got them. I don't know what you've been through but you're here with me now and no matter what I will not leave you. I just got you back and I'm not letting you go," Brittany whispered, looking Santana in the eyes.

Santana took a deep breath. Brittany had a way of knowing just what to say to her and it seemed that everything was going to be okay. Brittany's already seen her scars and it was defiantly before their bathroom kiss meaning that Brittany wasn't going to run away or not want to be with her. She saw her scars and still kissed her. She felt that strength build up inside of her, a strength that she knew would help her get through answering any question Brittany might have for it. They definitely wouldn't start to heal unless the truth was out there.

"Ask me," Her voice cracked and caught in her throat but Brittany heard her and understood what she was asking.

Brittany reached over, her fingers playing with the edge of her shirt. She released their hand hold and Brittany pulled her shirt up and off, tossing it next to them on the couch. Santana could feel the trail of her eyes and they danced across her torso. Nothing was spoken as they sat there, their breathing getting heavier.

Brittany finally reached up and traced a tiny scar at her collar bone. "One of my street fights. Girl sunk her nails into me pretty deep," Her voice breathed out the answer. She watched Brittany's face intensely for any sign of anything but that angelic face stayed neutral as her fingers traced down, leaving a trail of liquid fire under her skin.

Her fingers traced the raised and rough scar that rested between her ribs. "That's from getting stabbed back when I," Her voice trailed off as she saw the tears build up in Brittany's eyes. She reached up, her thumb brushing one away as it trailed down her cheek. Brittany still didn't say anything as her fingers traveled lower tracing more scars. Most of the answers were about her street fights until Brittany's fingers traced the bruising on her thighs.

She was wearing very short shorts so Brittany didn't have to pull up the material to far to see the bruising that lined her inner thighs. Her fingers traced it multiple times before she laid her palm flat against the skin, her fingers sprawled and filling the pattern left by the purple skin. Brittany's lips quivered and the tears began to fall more freely. Santana didn't say anything, the answer pretty evident on how she got those marks in such a private place.

Brittany hastily wiped away her tears and looked up at her. Her blue eyes were flickering with emotion and Santana could pick one out long enough to figure out something to say so she said the first thing that came to mind, "I'm sorry."

Brittany scoffed and shook her head her brows furrowing together in a fight to hold back her tears. Santana reached up, brushing her finger gently against the wrinkle that rested there before trailing her fingers down till she was cupping Brittany's cheek. "I'm so sorry," She whispered again. Brittany choked on her sobs and Santana pulled her into a tight hug; both of their foreheads resting on the other's shoulders, hands gripping at each other's back trying to pull the other in tighter. Santana ignored the pain from the gashes on her back, just wanting to hold Brittany in this moment or forever as far as she was concerned.

"I'm never letting you out of my sight again. I'll never lose you," Brittany swore into her neck before placing a kiss there as a promise.

"I'll never leave you again. I promise," She whispered back. Brittany leaned back slightly and wasted no time in placing another searing kiss against her lips. Brittany's hands traveled up and gripped at the back of her neck, kissing her so hard she was almost worried her teeth might go numb, not that she wasn't kissing Brittany back with just as much force.

Her back came against the couch cushion and Brittany rested between her thighs with one hand lost in her hair and the other gripping at her waist. Santana's hands were lost underneath Brittany's shirt, touching whatever skin she could. As her fingers traveled down the dip of her spine she could feel the goosebumps that followed her path. She reached back up pulling Brittany's shirt with her hands. Brittany pulled back quick enough for air and pulled off her own shirt, tossing it somewhere in the room.

Santana sat up, wincing slightly at the strain in her muscles as she flexed in a way she hadn't recently. Her hands trailed up Brittany's sides, tracing the curves of each rib, then her collarbone till she gripped at the back of Brittany's neck. Their lips crashed together again in a fit of passion, Brittany's hands wrapped around her lower back, helping her stay sitting upright against each other.

Santana's hands gripped at the back of Brittany's head, fingers lost in soft silky strands of blonde hair. Their chests rubbed together and both gasped at the touch. Fire traveled through Santana's veins till it rested and burned brightly in the pit of her being. Santana pulled back from the kiss, gasping in large breaths of air. Brittany mimicked her before tossing her head back as Santana sucked in a mouthful of flesh just above Brittany's bra.

"OH DEAR MOTHER OF ALL THINGS HOLY," Quinn shouted, the front door banging against the wall as Quinn's hand shot to cover her eyes.

They snapped apart and looked over to the door. Quinn stood there blocking her sight, bag dropped on the floor. Blaine stood just behind her with his arms full of a large box. He had a huge grin on his face and was chuckling softly.

"Um, hi Quinn," Brittany muttered with a breathless voice.

"Please don't talk to me till you both are wearing all the clothes you started out with," Quinn requested.

"What if this is what they started out with?" Blaine asked.

"Wanky," Santana chimed into the conversation, glad that her blush wouldn't peek out as bad as Brittany's or Quinn's.

"Oh please, They like to rip clothes off each other. It wouldn't surprise me if they plan to wear a full winter outfit before each bout of sex so they can rip off the clothes," Quinn replied with a heavy dose of sarcasm. Blaine pushed her into the apartment and closed the door behind him.

Brittany quickly handed Santana her shirt and helped her put it on. Blaine set the box down and picked up Brittany's shirt that was by his feet. "How did this get all the way over here?" He asked before chuckling again.

Brittany's cheeks blushed even darker as she jumped from the couch and quickly snatched it out of Blaines hands. She pulled on her shirt hastily, and only realized she'd redressed with it backwards when Santana pointed towards her chest. She fixed herself quickly and stood off to the side as Blaine sat down next to Santana and reached over for the near empty first aid kit.

"Brittany was helping me," Santana mentioned, disappointed that Brittany wasn't playing her nurse anymore.

"It's okay. Blaine can patch you up. I'm going to figure something out for dinner," Brittany mumbled starring at her feet before shuffling off towards the kitchen. Quinn rolled her eyes at their embarrassment before chasing after Brittany.

"Seems that things are going good here," Blaine commented as he cleaned out her stitches and re-wrapped them.

"Was going great till Quinn interrupted," Santana grumbled."How is it on the outside?"

"I was able to sell all the equipment back to who I bought it off of. Not for what you bought it for but close enough. Mr. Sun is willing to take the warehouse back at a discount because of the apartment which is beyond trashed," Blaine whispered, not knowing if this was something she'd want Brittany or Quinn to overhear.

"Thanks Blaine. You're my hero some days," She admitted with a sigh.

"Only because I look good in tights," Blaine joked. Santana laughed and swatted at his arm. He just smiled back at her.

Blaine finished with them sitting in silence. They could hear hushed whispers in the kitchen and Santana kept looking back with anxiety. Blaine cleaned up the mess he'd made and put away the left overs back into the first aid kit.

"It'll be okay Santana. Seems like you and Brittany are getting along well," Blaine mentioned.

"Doesn't mean it's going to be okay. I don't have to just get Brittany's forgiveness. I have to earn Quinn's trust again too," Santana looked down at her hands and tried not to jump up towards the kitchen as the whispers got louder.

"It's not just you. Quinn already seemed to be in a bad mood when I ran into her in the stairwell. I think something happened today and she's just at her breaking point," Blaine mentioned while looking over Santana's shoulder towards the kitchen.

"Well, it doesn't help that she gets up before the sun. Anything that rises that early is part demonic," She muttered.

"How do you know?" Blaine asked with a raised eyebrow. Santana was very tempted to flick him off and started to do so before Brittany rushed into the room.

"I ordered Chinese. Just easier than trying to find enough stuff to put together. I got your usual San," Brittany announced with a small smile.

"I'm going to change. I smell like overpriced jeans," Quinn snapped as she stormed around the corner.

"Do I need to find somewhere else to stay?" Santana asked,afraid that she'd stepped over a very large line with Quinn. She wouldn't stay here if she wasn't welcome. She was already putting to much on their shoulders as it was.

"NO!" Brittany rushed forward and knelt by her, "No. Don't leave. Quinn just had a bad day and wasn't expecting us as we were."

"I don't know why. Two soul mates finally reunited after years apart filled with trauma and heartbreak. I'm surprised we simply didn't interrupt round fifty," Blaine shrugged.

"Fifty? Really?" Santana asked with raised eyebrows.

"That's something to inspire towards. Our personal best was seven," Brittany smiled and Santana shot a look of shock back at her. Was that really information Blaine needed to know?

"Let her heal fully first before attempting to best your record by forty three," Blaine advised. She sat in slight shock before just busting out in laughter. This is how life was meant to be and here she was finally getting to live it with the love of her life and her best friend. All the pain of the past few years dimmed in this moment.

A knock came at the door and all three shot a look of confusion at it. Chinese didn't deliver that fast. "Were you followed?" Santana asked shooting Blaine a look. She was sure that Steve didn't know about him but she hadn't also believed that Nolan was being secretive in his plan but then he'd been raped and shot. If Steve and his goons were at the door then that was simply a curiosity knock and Santana needed to move now to hide her.

She jumped to her feet pulling Brittany with her to Brittany's room without waiting for an answer from Blaine. "No matter what, I want you to hide. Don't say anything and don't run out. No matter what. Promise me!" Santana gripped at Brittany's shoulders tightly before motioning to under her bed. It was silly trying to hide Brittany underneath the bed but Steve would be smart enough to check the closet. They were on the fourth floor so it wasn't like she could push Brittany out the window with out fear of breaking her neck. Blaine stood at the door to the apartment ready to hold it closed in case someone tried to force it open.

She burst into Quinn's room and covered Quinn's mouth quickly to suppress the yelp of surprise. Quinn was still changing with a fresh shirt in her hands. "Hide and don't come out no matter what you hear. Soon as it's clear you take Brittany and get far away from here." Quinn went to protest and Santana pushed her towards the bed, motioning like she did for Brittany. "Just do it Quinn. Please," She pleaded. Quinn nodded, wide eyes with fear before she dropped to her knees and shuffled under the bed.

Santana came back around the corner and quickly rushed through the kitchen grabbing a knife. A knock came at the door again and Santana peeked around the corner, nodding towards Blaine. She took a deep breath, grip firm on the handle of the knife. They wouldn't shoot Blaine right off. Steve wouldn't risk if she wasn't actually here, which gave her a chance of a surprise attack and giving Blaine the chance to help her fight, not that she would ever wish for him to get hurt because of her.

Blaine took a deep breath, trying to appear calm and pulled open the door. His head cocked back in surprise and his mouth opened and closed a few times, "Kurt? What are you doing here?"

**Authors note: Oh goody I can't wait to hear your thoughts on this one. Didn't cover much time but it seems that a lot happened. I sure did get a good bit of response from the sneak peak I posted on my tumblr. Perhaps I'll do that again. **

**Speaking of: I've also posted a poll for my new fic that I mentions last chapter. I know some of you don't visit Tumblr so I'm extending the poll here. If you don't want to leave it in a review feel free to send me a PM. I'll be posting the first chapter some time during the first of the week. **

**Title poll:**

**Moonlight Chances**

**Howl For Me ((which is currently in the lead))**

**Beast Within**

**Pack Member poll:  
Blaine/Sam ((currently in the lead))**

**Quinn/Kurt**

**Rachel/Artie**

**Anywho! Hit me up on Tumblr and leave a review here. I look forward to all of your thoughts and comments. **


	15. Chapter 15: Kurt brings out the truth

Kurt? What the hell was lady face doing here? Blaine shot her a look of panic. She waved at him to distract Kurt and she rushed to put the knife back. She circled a bit and then stopped herself. This was not a moment to be freaking out. Take a look at the facts and form a plan.

Okay, so Kurt was here which is not immediately life threatening. That meant that she could retrieve Brittany and Quinn from their hiding places. Crap, how was she going to explain that? Brittany was already worried about her and Quinn knew she was in trouble. Hell she was still covered in bruises from Steve. This could be very bad but she needed to remain calm to keep it from getting out of control. She walked towards the kitchen door and stopped as she heard Blaine and Kurt talking. Maybe Blaine could get rid of Kurt and he would never have to know she was here. Maybe, but she wasn't counting on it.

"Kurt, um, what are you doing here?" Blaine asked still shocked to see his boyfriend at the front door.

Kurt stormed in and began to search the apartment, "I could ask you that. Is this where he lives? Are you two serious enough now that he brought you back to his place? Hmm, where is he then Blaine?" Kurt was practically screaming.

"What are you going on about?" Blaine asked back, trying to keep from yelling as well. Had Kurt just lost his mind?

"I know you're cheating on me. You have been for a year now. Sneaking off to places instead of those study groups which I found out were fake. You come and go at all hours of the night just saying you needed some air and most of the time when you come back you're not even with me mentally. When did you stop loving me? When did I become not enough?" Kurt was full on screaming now.

"What's going on, you two?" Quinn asked coming down the hallway. Santana couldn't help but roll her eyes. That wasn't really hiding no matter what you hear. What if this was some trick? Quinn would be dead in a few seconds.

"Oh, hi Quinn. What are you doing at Blaine's boy toy apartment?" Kurt asked.

"Really Kurt?" Quinn asked.

"I'm confused," Kurt admitted.

"I think we all are," Blaine added, folding his arms over his chest. Santana rolled her eyes and remained hidden. She pleaded silently that Quinn wouldn't reveal she was here. Although she did feel horrible for putting a strain on Blaine's relationship.

"Okay so I've been talking to Rachel about how weird you've been acting over this past year and she followed you a few times without my knowledge but when she told me where you'd been going and those guys you've been talking to and taking money from and giving money too; well it got us concerned so I followed you today when you told me you had study group tonight and I know that's a lie," Kurt explained.

'Damn that hobbit! She's a pain in my ass even if she doesn't realize it,' Santana was quietly cursing at Rachel.

"Do you really think Blaine would cheat on you? He's an honorable guy," Quinn spoke up in Blaine's defense.

"Thank you Quinn but I think this is something only Kurt and I can deal with. I appreciate your support though," Blaine smiled at Quinn.

"So there is no guy? This is all just some crazy incident and I'm temporarily insane?" Kurt asked raising his hands in question.

"Who said you weren't already crazy?" Quinn asked with a snort. It took everything in Santana not to laugh along with her.

"There is no guy," Blaine assured Kurt. He stepped up and put his hands on Kurt's shoulders.

"Then what's with all the rest of it? What's going on?" Kurt asked.

Blaine shrugged, not really having an explanation, "I've just been helping some friends out. Nothing to worry about."

"Quinn? What do you need help with?" Kurt asked putting Quinn on the spot. Santana tensed up again not really sure how far Quinn would go with this.

"Um, well," Quinn hesitated, stuttering over her words,"Blaine has been teaching me some medical stuff." Santana wanted to slap herself or Quinn. That was a horrible excuse.

"Oh. Wait, I thought you were a business major?" Kurt asked.

"Brittany has started dancing again and keeps hurting herself. She hates doctors so Blaine has been teaching me some stuff and helping me take care of her," Quinn covered doing much better the second time around.

"Oh, well that's very nice of you," Kurt said with a shrug and then started laughing, "I can't believe I over reacted. I'm so embarrassed."

"It's okay Kurt, I would have jumped to the same conclusions," Quinn said. Blaine just remained quiet, afraid to mention how hurt he was over the fact that his boyfriend didn't trust him not to cheat. Granted he had been acting suspicious but he didn't think he'd been anything less than a good boyfriend.

"So, what was with all the money exchanges?" Kurt asked,still digging.

"I was trying to get you a surprise," Blaine fibbed with a half halfhearted shrug. He couldn't help that his feelings were hurt.

"Oh, well now that I know can you tell me?" Kurt stood therewith a dumb grin and Blaine just shook his head no. "Oh, well I'm sure I'll be really surprised. Promise, Rachel didn't see much so I really don't know anything."

'Excellent confession Kurt, now get him out of here Blaine', Santana really wished she could project her thoughts. She leaned against the wall and keep her breathing light. No reason to give Kurt any suspicion that she was here.

"Where's Brittany? I haven't seen that girl since graduation," Kurt asked.

"She's in her room," Quinn answered.

"Oh, is she in bed recovering? I can go say hi," Kurt said making a move towards the hallway. Quinn shot to block his way.

"She's asleep. It's best to not wake her," Quinn covered. She'd already headed into Brittany's room when she'd heard Kurt confronting Blaine in the living room. Brittany had refused to get out from under the bed. If something scared Santana enough to force her to hide, she wasn't moving. She tried pulling Quinn back down with her but Quinn had shrugged her off calling them both crazy. There was no need having Kurt find Brittany hiding under her bed. How the hell would she explain that? 'Oh sorry Kurt, Santana who is alive by the way, lost her mind for a moment and shoved us both under the bed and Brittany refuses to come out.' Yeah, that would go over well.

"We should probably go anyway. Kurt and I seem to need to talk. I'm just going to clean my dish really quick and I'll be right back," Blaine mentioned pointing towards the kitchen and giving Quinn a look. Quinn nodded and pulled Kurt over to the living room, proceeding to ask him who he was still in touch with from Glee. That was bound to keep him talking for a few minutes.

Blaine rushed into the kitchen and looked at Santana with concern and panic, "What the hell do I tell him?"

"It's okay. At least he doesn't know about me. Just spend some time with him. I'll be fine with Quinn and Brittany so you don't have to come around as much or in the middle of the night," Santana said with a dismissive wave.

"You're still my best friend Santana. Just because I won't be stitching you up as much doesn't mean I don't want to see you anymore," Blaine confessed.

"Then just tell him you're hanging with Quinn and Britt,"Santana shrugged.

"And when he wants to join?" Blaine asked.

Santana starred him down for a second before shaking her head, "He can't know I'm alive. He still talks to Rachel and whoever else. Word will spread that I'm alive and Steve will find out. I hate that you have to lie but I can't have you tell the truth."

"I understand. We'll just...we'll figure something outright?" Blaine asked.

"Of course. Now go be with your lady faced girlfriend," She said waving him towards the door. Blaine simply shook his head at the dig at Kurt but was glad for the normality despite the heavy weight of the truth rested on them. "Oh and get something for him from my account. That surprise you were talking about; make sure it's nice," Santana offered. She turned away from him before Blaine could argue.

"Are you ready Blaine or do you have a feast worth of dishes?" Kurt asked. Blaine shot out of the kitchen before Kurt could come looking for him.

"All ready. I'll swing by later to check on Brittany," Blaine said as he grabbed Kurt's hand.

"Thanks for helping her out and I'll see you later Kurt. Hopefully without you breaking down my door," Quinn said.

"I'll be more polite next time," Kurt promised and then they were gone and the door was being locked. Santana came out of the kitchen and made a bee-line for Brittany's room.

"Britt, it's okay to come out," Santana got on her knees and offered Brittany her hand.

"What the hell Santana," Quinn came storming into the room, hands on her hips. Brittany sat on the edge of her bed, worry etched on her face as she held onto Santana's hand. "Making us hide under the bed? One, what the hell good would that have done and two, why were we hiding?"

"I panicked. I'm sorry," She apologized.

"I want answers and I want them now," Quinn demanded.

"Quinn," Brittany's voice was soft but firm. She didn't want Quinn pushing for painful memories. She didn't want to scare Santana off.

"If it's dangerous for us with her being here I need to know. How else can I keep you safe if I don't know what we're up against?" Quinn asked.

"She's right. I can't keep this a secret. But you have to know, if I could keep it from you I would. I would never wish for you to know the horrors out there. The world is a dark place and sometimes the shadows follow you out of the darkest corners," Santana admitted.

"Then tell us what's going on," Quinn demanded. Santana nodded weakly and motioned for Quinn to take a seat. Quinn walked across the room and sat with Brittany on the edge of her bed. Brittany reached out for Santana's hand again as she began to pace across the floor. Santana shrugged it off and took a step back, still shaking her head.

Santana was convinced that they would never allow her to stay here once they knew and after the fear that had consumed her when Kurt had knocked on the door she wasn't sure she wanted to stay anyway. She'd gotten into this to keep them safe and if staying here put them in danger she wouldn't risk it.

"Let me start with what happened the night I was stabbed. Let me explain why I didn't come back," Santana started and with that she told them. Everything from Steve's threat of her paying him back to walking the streets of Lima trying to make a decision that impacted all of them.

"Why didn't you just leave? To run away from him and save yourself?" Quinn asked.

"I was convinced he knew about you two and if he didn't than he would. At the time I didn't know what he was capable of but now that I do I'm glad I made the decision I did. It kept you two safe from him. I would never want him to know of either of you. I would never want him to do to you what I know he is capable of," She answered and that familiar fear settled in her bones.

"What would that be?" Quinn asked, wanting to understand seeing the rare fear behind Santana's expression.

So she told them, every brutal detail. How Nolan was going to get her out of there and the day she went to their national choir competition. She told them what Steve did to Nolan and then what he did to her, every last detail and left both girls in a fit of tears. She told them how Blaine had found her and how she wished to die so no one would be hurt by her again but Blaine couldn't let her. She told them everything up to the day Quinn found her. She did so knowing that none of them could move forward without the truth being told. Blaine wouldn't tell her secrets despite her scars doing so. But she couldn't act so scared and force them to hide without telling them why.

"Why don't you just go to the police and tell them everything? Your body alone is evidence enough," Quinn asked.

"Because I would go to jail, for a long time," Santana answered.

"What?" Brittany chimed in coming out of her daze.

"I faked my death, which is illegal. There's a seven year statute of limitation for faking your own death. It's only been three years so I would be busted for that. Then there's the big one of how I was paid for my services," Santana answered.

"Okay, so gambling isn't that bad. They could work a deal for that," Quinn said, brows furrowed as she tried to understand.

"They might but not for prostitution," Santana said, folding her arms across her chest. She felt disgusted about herself every time she admitted it.

"What?" Brittany echoed her earlier question. Santana's heart broke just a fracture but it still hurt like it was the end of the world. The look in Brittany's eyes was sadness and it tore at her.

"Part of my bonus from my fights were based on my performance with Steve. How well I pleased him," She stopped, chocking on her words. It was hard enough admitting in her mind but saying it out loud; that was near impossible. "I accepted the money after sex. That's Steve's out. His means of taking us down with him. The police won't make a deal for prostitution. Not that it would do me any good," Santana admitted with a huff of disgust.

"What does that mean?" Quinn snapped.

"The city is corrupted. Some of Steve's larger investors for his operation is the Mayor's son and the Chief of Police. If I went to the cops Steve would find out it was me and I'd be dead before the cell was locked up for the night," Santana answered. The hopelessness of Santana's situation settled over all of them. Santana watched as they both sat there in defeat, Quinn with disbelief of the world and Brittany with unshed tears.

"Were you never going to tell us?" Brittany asked.

"Not from you. Not forever. I was going to when I had a plan," Santana answered, her voice small and her shoulders tensed around her neck.

"What plan could you have possible come up with?" Quinn asked.

"I don't know," Santana shrugged in defeat, "I really don't know."

**Authors note:**

**Sorry about the wait. Had this written days ago and was waiting on feedback from my beta. Looking to hear back from all of you! **

**Also be sure to check out my other fic if you haven't. Howl for Me. I'm so surprised of all the love for it already. Tis awesome and I'm on a writer's high. **

**Enjoy the update and don't hesitate to drop a review and hit up my ask box.**


	16. Chapter 16: Let me love you

Quinn gave Santana tight hug. She couldn't believe that such evil existed in this world and that one of her best friends had been pulled into that dungeon of pain and suffering. It was like the world's own level of hell to be trapped in before even dying. Santana had no out, no way to escape without any more pain and suffering. Not without help. Not without someone with power to take care of this situation and keep them all safe.

Quinn paced in her room, having left Santana and Brittany alone to work through some of their issues. She had faith that they would be okay. She hated the situation they were all in and she was going to keep her promise to keep Brittany safe no matter what. How could she do that? She was one person against a man you could call the devil. She ran her fingers through her hair and sighed in frustration. What could she do? The police were out of the question if Santana was right about them being involved. No wonder they hadn't shut the obvious location down. They were all too busy enjoying the entertainment.

She sat on her bed in defeat and stared at her wall of photos, looking over pictures of her and Britt from senior year. She had an echo of a smile on her face remember how supportive their cheer coach had been during that difficult time. Quinn and Brittany could have gone to her for anything. Quinn's thought about her old cheer coach and her connections to get things done and her miraculous ability to get out of trouble from her more dangerous and illegal schemes. Coach Sue did say she still had her contacts from her military days.

Santana was going to be pissed, but Quinn knew Coach Sue would be able to help. Plus, it wasn't like their old cheer coach was in New York so Steve wouldn't find out by word of mouth. She dragged out her laptop and went on a search for Coach Sue's cell phone number. Surely, if anyone would be able to help, it would be the world's second most evil person. Well, evil if you weren't in her inner circle.

***********

Steve slammed his hand down on the desk in anger. "What the hell do you mean you can't find her body? She was fucking dead. I checked myself for her fucking pulse. You had one job to do, and that was clean up the mess."

"I'm sorry sir. There wasn't a body there when we arrived. Plenty of blood though so I'm sure someone just disposed of it in a freak out. Maybe the landlord?" He was skinny with greasy hair and he trembled where he stood in the middle of Steve's office.

"I don't care what you think. I have a girl who fights off death like the common cold and her body is missing. You know what happens when her _dead_ body goes missing? She shows back up at my doorstep and gives me a headache. Sure, she has a great body, but she's a fucking huge liability now," Steve stood from his desk, chair flinging back from him as he stormed around the desk to spit in the drug addict's face as he screamed.

"I'll find her body. I promise," The skinny kid's body trembled in fear, flinching away each time Steve flexed.

Steve stepped back, taking a deep breath and centering his rage, "No. You're useless. I'll be sending someone else."

"I know I can be useful to you. Please give me another chance," The boy pleaded.

Steve smiled sympathetically, reaching up to pat both of the boys cheeks. He gripped softly at the boys jaw, "They'll be lucky to find your body." He twisted and bone snapped, the boy falling limply to the floor.

He turned to his guard at his office door, "Get rid of his body, standard drop, and find me someone who can take care of my situation. Also, I'm very horny so find one of the barbies and send them my way." He waved dismissively and plopped back into this desk chair, fingers tapping in aggression at his desk. He was sure Santana was dead, he'd killed her himself but that chica had massive death issues. He knew from the start that she would be his greatest asset and be able to bring his downfall. He should have put a bullet in her brain and if they found her alive, that is exactly what he was going to do. He'd do it with a smile.

************

Brittany sat on the edge of her bed and Santana sat in her computer chair. Brittany stared down at her hands, quiet since Quinn left them alone. Santana couldn't take her eyes off of her just in case she missed the moment that Brittany came to a decision and it left her with no warning.

It was important to give Brittany all the time to think this through. She knew everything now, not just how she got the physical scars but her mental and emotional scars as well. Her darkness had been brought to light and left bare for Brittany to examine and deem if she was still loveable. Her mind was already processing the rejection and what she would do. If Brittany didn't want her she really had nothing to live for.

The air in the room shifted as Brittany's shoulders tensed and her head shot up. Blue eyes bore into her own but the expression on Brittany's face confused her. She'd never seen Brittany look so...resolved. Her heart clenched convinced that this was it, whatever they were was over. She could understand. Her soul was tainted and stained. How could anyone love her?

Brittany stood and took determined steps to where Santana was sitting. She dropped to her knees and grabbed Santana's hands in her own. Just getting to touch Brittany again after so many years sparked every pleasant feeling in her body. She never wanted to miss that again.

"You are the most beautiful person I know. I don't care what you've done, or who you've done. I don't care that you think you're surrounded by this dark cloud that will ruin anyone that comes close. I'm in love with you. I have been since we were swinging on the playground and you caught me when I fell from the monkey bars. I will love you till the day I die and I know I will because I've loved you even when I thought you were dead. My heart only beats with you, Santana," Brittany's chin wavered and a tear slipped from the corner of her eye.

Santana's chest constricted, her own eyes burning as she herself tried not to cry at Brittany's declaration of love. Brittany was in love with her. Just as much as Santana was in love with her. She opened her mouth but nothing would come out. She didn't know how to form the words to tell Brittany just how she felt. She closed her mouth and took a deep breath through her nose not able to hold back her tears.

Brittany leaned forward pulling Santana's clasped hand to rest over Brittany's racing heart, "I will protect you. I will find away to make you see the beauty around you. I will love you till the day I die and I know that as fact."

"I can't let you get hurt because of my mistakes," She finally managed to whisper out one of her thoughts.

"Then don't leave me. Not again. Say you'll be mine, forever," Brittany whispered, pleading with her to see what they should have seen so many years ago. They are soul mates, destined to be with each other.

She pulled Brittany close, resting their foreheads together. Brittany wanted forever and Santana would do anything to make that possible.

"I've only ever wanted to be yours. I'll never leave you, Britt. I couldn't, not now when I finally have you," Santana choked out. Tears were freely pouring now as Brittany smiled in relief at their declaration of love and commitment.

Brittany reached up and pulled Santana down by her neck, connecting their lips together in a fusion of passion, comfort, and love. It was strong and pulsed between their lips and Santana knew she was home. Her soul felt whole again like everything was meant to bring her to this moment and she would suffer a thousand more deaths just to be with the love of her life.

Brittany pulled back, smiling and reconnecting their locked gaze, "I love you, Santana."

"I love you, too," Santana whispered. It was amazing, finally being able to say those words to Brittany. Nothing had been right in high school and then everything had gone terribly wrong. The thing about soul mates is they always find their way back to each other and fate made sure it happened.

She stood, pulling Brittany up with her. She smiled up the small distance they had in height and wrapped her arms around Brittany's waist, pulling them tight together. She just needed Brittany in her arms. Brittany hugged her back just as tight, arms wrapped around her shoulders, resting their temples together.

It settled in her heart and spread like wildfire. She and Brittany were finally together. Actually together. This had always been a faint dream she could never hope for but now it was her life. She pulled her head back and when Brittany looked down at her she wasted no time in capturing her lips just because she could, because it felt right, and she needed it like she needed air.

Brittany dropped to her bed, the sudden down pull startled her. She hadn't even realized they'd been shuffling backwards till Brittany's knees had hit the frame and toppled them back to lay on the mattress. She rested comfortably over Brittany, tilting her head to the side and deepening their languid kisses.

Soon it turned passionate and needy. Tongues dueled and danced while their lips swelled from the push and pull. Brittany's hips thrust up into hers as they both sought friction and when Santana moaned Brittany pulled back gasping for air and shaking her head.

"I forgot you're still healing. I don't want to hurt you," Brittany shook her head trying to gain clarity and being extra careful where she gripped at Santana's shoulders.

"It's okay Britt. I need to make love to you, with you," She smiled softly before leaning back down and kissing Brittany like she could tattoo her love across those soft lips. She could feel their heart beats rapidly pounding against each other's chests and not a breath of air could fit between them.

Brittany lifted her hips, effectively flipping them over and as gently as she could helped Santana settle onto her back in the middle of the mattress. Santana smiled, loving how concerned Brittany was being and making sure that she wouldn't be hurting.

Brittany's fingers danced at the hem of her own shirt and smiled shyly as she pulled it up and off, long blonde locks of hair bouncing on her shoulders after the material was removed and tossed somewhere in the floor. She reached up, running her fingers over the flat toned stomach that she was now presented with . Muscles twitched beneath her fingers and Brittany's breath hitched, eyes fluttering closed for a few brief seconds.

"I've missed touching you and being this close together," Santana confessed reached for Brittany's hand and pulling her back down on top of her. Their lips connected again and they kissed softly for long minutes. Brittany's hand reached down, tugging at the hem of her own shirt and Santana pulled back enough for her to pull it off. She was super careful, not wanting to pull at any stitches or bandages. Santana could see the hesitation there and pulled Brittany back down by the neck to kiss her worries away.

When she felt Brittany relax again and settle back into her curves she reached up letting her fingers dance around Brittany's bra straps and then finally went to grasp at the clasp. With one hand she pinched the clasp open and then reached to pull of the polka dotted bra and toss it someone where she figured their shirts were.

Brittany wasted no time in removing Santana's bra and even reached down to unbutton and pull off Santana's jeans till she only laid there with her underwear on. Brittany also took the time and removed her own jeans and she pouted, "I wanted to do that, B."

Brittany smiled and leaned down kissing her again, "You have a life time to look forward to ripping my clothes off. I wanted to do it this time." And whatever Brittany wanted Santana would give her. Not that she could complain since they were both nearly naked with shaking hands and pounding hearts.

Brittany kissed her softly before pulling back and kissing her way down Santana's neck to her collar bone. Her lips trailed lightly over her skin causing goosebumps and tingles everywhere. Every time her lips touched against a scar she would place a firm kiss there as if she could remove all the pain and suffering that lingered beneath the scar tissue.

She was trembling and quaking by the time Brittany reached her thighs and took in a deep breath before kissing at the bruising along her thighs. Brittany's entire being shook and she felt the tiniest drop of water near her upper thigh. She pulled Brittany up, running her thumbs lightly where tears were spilling.

Neither had words to say as they leaned toward each other again and kissed. Santana trailed her fingers down from Brittany's shoulder, between her breasts and to the band of Brittany's underwear. She teased her fingers beneath the elastic and when the muscles there trembled and Brittany's breath hitched in her chest she wrapped her fingers around them and pulled them down till Brittany had to take over and shimmy her way out of them, kicking them off somewhere.

She could feel the heat radiating between them and her lungs quit working as Brittany reached to remove her own panties as well. They stuck and clung to her awkwardly by how wet she was. Brittany smiled against her lips, still kissing her breathlessly.

Now they both laid bare and nerves settled in Santana's stomach. She couldn't hide how shaky her hands were so she brought one to rest around Brittany's shoulder and the other to tickle down Brittany's abs till they hit soft curls at the apex of her thighs. Brittany rested her weight on one arm, drawing her other hand down to slip past Santana's curls and rub leisurely at her folds.

Santana mimicked her motions and both of their breathing fell uneven and heavy against each other lips. Her fingers slipped past wet folds to rub circles around Brittany's clit. Seconds after Brittany remembered how to move she followed Santana's direction and then slipped her fingers to run along Santana's wet entrance.

She smiled against Brittany's parted lips and then kissed her sweet and soft, "I love you."

Brittany smiled and whispered, "I love you too. More than anything."

Fingers slipped inside each other and began a soft thrusting. It was heaven to feel Brittany so intimately again. Her inner walls were still tender but Brittany caressed her with softness and care. It didn't take much for warmth to spill through her limbs and bring her trembling over the edge, Brittany shaking and tensing above her in similar fashion.

They rode out their climaxes, and when they could breathe and their toes uncurled Brittany rolled off to the side, pulling Santana with her. She couldn't keep the smile off her lips as she watched Brittany, feeling the shapes that were being traced in the skin above her heart.

"Maybe we're both dead," Brittany questioned and it shook Santana to the core thinking of a dead and gone Brittany.

"Why would you say that?" Santana asked, her voice clearly trembling.

"Cause this is heaven," Brittany smirked knowing she was being completely cheesy.

"You're a dork," Santana chuckled.

"Yeah, but I'm your dork," Brittany shrugged.

Santana burrowed her nose into Brittany's neck, feeling the pulse against her cheek as she smiled and placed a soft kiss at the skin there, "It's all I ever wanted, Britt." Brittany hugged her tight, still wary of where her hands were to not tug at any of Santana's cuts. They sighed, slipping off to sleep together.

************

"Well if it isn't my favorite pregnant at sixteen ex cheerio. What do I owe the pleasure of this surprising phone call?" Coach Sue answered her phone.

"I was hoping you could help me out with something," Quinn asked pacing her bedroom and trying to mentally block out the moans from across the hallway. Apparently Brittany and Santana worked everything out or they were being their crazy high school selves and sleeping before dealing with their feelings. She really hoped Santana had her shit together and talked about feelings first.

"Has New York's poisoned sewer water turned your skin to scales and you're looking to fix that awful complexion you would never work on as my head cheerio?" Coach Sue asked.

"No. Someone is in trouble, big trouble and we can't go to police," Quinn started explained.

"Did you finally off that insanely loud and platypus nosed midget whose voice still haunts me in my medically induced coma every night?" Sue asked, voice dripping with concern and sarcasm. It was defiantly something Quinn missed of her former cheerleading coach.

"No but someone is caught in a mess and the chief of police is a part of that mess and it could get this someone killed," Quinn was really wanting to skirt passed the vague details but she needed to know first if Sue could help them.

"What's going on Quinn?" Sue asked, dropping her insults and sound genuinely concerned.

"Santana's alive," Quinn blurted and held her breath for Sue's outburst of shock or something.

The line was dead quiet for long minutes. Just when she was about to ask if Sue was still on the line Sue spoke up, "I'm on the next flight there. Do not let her out of your sights."

**Author's note:**

**So I know this is long overdue but everyone has been demanding updates for Howl for Me. (Which if you haven't read...it's good. Peeps like it.) Of course after the drama from the last chapter I needed a change of pace and churned out this update. **

**Anyway; some things are starting to happen in this fic. Coach Sue is back and our ladies finally had a feelings talk...then proceeded with those feelings. So thoughts? Comments? I can't wait to hear them. **

**If your new to my writing or haven't followed me yet (wigster07. Tumblr. com) **


	17. Chapter 17: Coach Sue to the Rescue

**I am so sorry everyone! I was sure I updated this weeks ago. Thanks to that anon on Tumblr to bring it to my attention that it was not updated. I apologize for the wait. I have no idea what happened but without further ado, here is what you've all been waiting for. (Please ignore any mistakes, I didn't send this one off to Miranda to edit)**

Warm. It wasn't normally how she got to wake up. Typically it was with a pounding head or body, most of the time both. And she would be cold. Chilled down to the core of her bones and it would take a long shower or four cups of coffee before she could feel anything other than that numbness that would settle over her body. Most days she welcomed that feeling; to be numb. It meant she couldn't feel the bad and she'd always welcomed the lack of feelings. She could deal easier with the shit fest of her life that way.

Today however, she woke up warm. An arm was wrapped around her waist, a firm body snuggled close against her back. She could feel the warm puffs of breath against the back of her neck and she smiled softly. She hadn't slept for long, her body wouldn't let her. Her mind was racing with what happened last night between her and Brittany. They admitted how in love they were with each other. Then they had made love. It was perfect and her mind couldn't really process that even with the evidence of feeling Brittany's warmth against her all night.

The breathing against her neck shifted and the arm around her waist tightened. She smiled even more as Brittany woke up and placed soft kisses at the flesh inches away from her lips. Santana hummed, not even realizing she had till Brittany lifted up on one arm and looked down at her. "You're happy." It was a statement of truth but Santana's eyebrows furrowed together confused at the declaration of how she was feeling. "I'm happy your happy," Brittany continued.

She giggled and rolled over onto her back. Brittany shifted to lean over her and with a small smile she sneaked a good morning kiss. Santana grinned as Brittany pulled back. She could sneak kisses like that whenever she wants. "You seem to be in a good mood yourself," She replied, her voice cracking from the early morning hours.

"Why wouldn't I be? I have you in bed with me and everything is finally perfect. This is all I've ever wanted," Brittany shrugged and kissed her again. She felt a pang against her heart. This was all they ever _both_ wanted. She had cost them so much time. She'd almost cost them everything. "Stop," Brittany demanded pulling back from her lips and looking down at her with sadness.

"What? I'm not that bad of a kisser," She joked and stuck out her bottom lip in a pout.

"Not that. I can feel your sadness and I don't want to be sad with you," Brittany smiled softly and Santana sucked in her bottom lip and forced a smile back.

"We won't be sad anymore. I promise," She reached up, stroking her thumb against Brittany's cheek before hooking her fingers into the back of Brittany's neck and pulling her back down to her lips. Brittany's body settled down on top of hers and the weight and warmth was comforting. They kissed for long moments, till their lips hummed as they parted for breath.

Sunlight filtered in through the blinds and creaking could be heard through the walls. Quinn was up and moving around. She was suddenly conscious of how naked they were and the stickiness between her legs that would never surprise her with Brittany's body pressed so close to hers. Her hands gripped at Brittany's back and pressed their chests tight together. She felt a thump against her breast and she gasped at how hard Brittany's heart was beating.

Brittany pulled back and looked down at her again. Her brows were crinkled and left a wrinkle down to the top of her nose. Blue eyes bore into hers and she felt everything spark back to life inside her. She would never fall to the darkness in her life so long as she had those bright eyes to guide her back.

A knock came at the door and they both froze. Not a breath passed their lips even as another knock came at the door. "Okay. I know you both are naked. I heard you all night long. I have breakfast made so come eat once your clothed," Quinn spoke through the door. They only breathed again when they heard Quinn shuffle away down the hall.

They stared at each other for a few seconds. She couldn't fight the feeling bubbling up in her chest till it erupted out in a fit of giggles. Brittany looked down, shocked that she was giggling about Quinn busting them. Before, Santana would have freaked. She would have frozen and denied it till her face was blue. But there she was giggling like this was normal. Brittany couldn't fight the build up as well and soon they were both red in the face from laughing so hard.

Brittany was pressed into her, face in the crook of her neck and hands twitching at her shoulder and in her hair. She was palming whatever flesh she could while trying to catch her breath. She hadn't laughed this hard since she was a preteen. Then she'd been with Brittany too. Only they weren't as naked together during those times. It was before things had become what they are now. It was when she started to fall in love.

They finally stopped laughing and Brittany lifted back up on her elbows to breath better. "We should get dressed. Quinn will think we're going at it again," She suggested.

"Well with all that laughing she'll realize how much fun she's missing out on with the lack of sex she's having," Brittany fired back and rolled off of her.

"Poor Quinn," She replied. She sat up on her elbows and watched as Brittany pulled on some shorts and a tee. Brittany just looked good no matter what. With clothes, without clothes. Brittany turned with a smirk and tossed some clothes in her face.

"Get dress or it will be poor you," Brittany teased. She rolled out of bed and her smirk died when Brittany didn't take her eyes off of her body. Her scars were contrasting to her dark skin and hard to miss. She dressed as fast as her arms would allow her. Soon as her shirt was pulled over her head she was startled by how close Brittany suddenly was. Brittany wrapped her arms around her and pulled her close. "You are so beautiful and I love you so much," Brittany whispered into her ear.

"Don't Britt," She whispered. She swallowed and took a deep breath, "It'll be okay. I'll be okay."

Brittany leaned down and kissed her, arms wrapped tightly around her shoulders. Brittany pulled away and leaned their foreheads together. "I love you, Britt. More than anything in this world. I love you," She whispered against Brittany's lips. She could feel Brittany's smile and then they were kissing again. Confirming their love for each. Making all the pain in the past few years mean nothing because they were finally admitting their feelings and living in this world. They would survive this.

Brittany laced their fingers together and led her out of the room to the kitchen. The smell of crisp bacon filled her senses and she sighed in a deep breath. They rounded the corner to find a set table filled with a basket of biscuits, and a plate of bacon and eggs. Quinn was pulling out the orange juice and turned from the fridge to catch them holding hands and grinning like idiots.

"Good morning you two," Quinn smiled at them and brought the juice to the table. Quinn motioned for them to join her. Brittany practically skipped over to the table and pulled out both chairs. She couldn't help the giant smile on her face while watching Brittany motioned for her to take a seat.

She sat down and Brittany helped her slid up to the table. Brittany sat with a bounce and Quinn passed them the biscuits while loading her own plate with bacon. Santana knew it was a distraction so Quinn could hog the best pieces of bacon that had been eyed as hers since Quinn started cooking them. Normally she'd called Quinn out on this but today she was just to damn happy to stir any drama.

They divided the mass of food between the three of them and started chowing down. "So you two had sex last night," Quinn broke the silence and Santana chocked on her juice. Her nostrils burned as she tried to catch her breath. She glared at Quinn who was trying so hard not to laugh at them. Brittany bounced again in her seat and smiled.

"We did and it was awesome," Brittany answered. Quinn shook her head, not really shocked that Brittany would simply comment on her comment.

"Awesome huh?" She asked, smirking.

"Best I've ever had," Brittany grinned back and slowly brought her fork of eggs to her puckered lips.

If she could blush; she would be. "Wow, the best huh? I can't even think of the best I've ever had," Quinn added jam to her biscuit.

"Cause Puck is all you've ever had and that's not worth remembering," Brittany shot back. Santana looked back and forth between them and couldn't stop the smile on her face. She tried really hard not to laugh.

"Puck wasn't the only one I've been with," Quinn defended looking stunned that they switched the sex breakfast talk back onto her.

Brittany's face scrunched up as she thought that over, "Hmmmm..." Brittany took some bacon and nibbled for a few seconds.

"Okay, fine! Puck is the only one I've been with," Quinn rolled her eyes and snatched some bacon off Brittany's plate. At that point she couldn't fight off the laughter anymore. Brittany quickly joined her and after a few huffs Quinn joined in as well.

"Okay, so enough laughing about my lack of love life," Quinn snapped out of the laughing fit first and glared at them both. She coughed and brought herself out of her giggles and returned to eating her breakfast. Brittany looked over at her and a smile slowly grew over both of their faces. Brittany leaned over to her and softly kissed her. She tensed for only a second but then melted into Brittany's embrace. When Brittany pulled away it took a moment for her eyes to flutter back open.

"Isn't that sweet. You two love birds are ruining my breakfast," Quinn cocked her head to the side just as Santana remembered from high school bitch Quinn.

"Then pass over that stockpile of bacon you've got," Santana challenge with a raised eyebrow.

"Nope. My bacon," Quinn raised her knife up as if to fend Santana off from her bacon.

"That's what you think," She smirked and shifted in her seat as if she was going to make a play for Quinn's plate. A knocking at the door distracted them and Quinn sat up in her seat before eying the two of them and then getting up from the table.

"Quinn, don't. Let me check who it is," She said feeling the spike of adrenaline and need to protect her people.

"It's okay San. I know who it is. You two keep eating," Quinn pushed down on Santana's shoulder till she was seated again. Santana took her knife and twisted in her seat. She made sure she was directly between the doorway and Brittany. Voices were muffled through the wall but Santana was sure Quinn just invited whoever it was inside. Was Blaine back?

Quinn came around the corner and smiled at them before frowning at the knife in Santana's grip. "It's okay, S."

"Who is it?" She asked, not wanting to take any chances.

"Just me, Sandbags. You have some explaining to do," Coach Sue came around the corner. She was still as intimidating as ever. She stood tall, with her hands on her hips. She was dressed in a solid black track suit with the collar flipped up. She looked older and Santana could swear she saw something other than hatred and revenge in her coaches eyes. Coach Sue stalked forward and Santana gulped. "Up," Coach Sue demanded standing an inch from in front of Santana and towering over her.

She jumped to her feet, dropping the knife back on the table by her plate. She tried not to fidget as she held Sue's gaze. She jumped in surprise when arms wrapped around her and her coach pulled her into a tight hug. She swears she heard the old woman gasp from the contact. When Sue pulled back she folded her arms across her chest and glared down at her. "How dare you! How could you just run off and get yourself killed? Didn't I teach you better than that? I taught you almost all my secret killing ways. Was cheer leading practice just not enough of an distraction? Did the waste of space school just not have enough losers for you to slushy?"

"It wasn't anything like that Coach," She tried to reassure Sue.

"How could you leave us like that? You run to your family when things get tough. I would have made that bleeding ear hobbit pay for her distasteful words towards you. Why didn't you just come to me?" Coach Sue asked. Santana swore she saw a shadow of a tear but she wasn't going to point that out to her almost soulless Coach.

"I just went to blow off some steam. Things got out of hand," Santana explained.

"Why didn't you come back to us? I could have helped you," Coach Sue asked.

"How could you have helped me when I was doing my best to protect Brittany? I would have only gotten everyone hurt. It was best to happen the way that it has," Santana defended.

"So it was best that you've shattered all that was good about you? I disagree. I could sit here all day and tell you why you were wrong. That you should have come to me and that you shouldn't have let these two believe you were dead for so long. I'm going to help you now and we are going to give you a life again. No more running," Coach Sue went to sit down at the table and Quinn pulled out a spare plate. "I'm not eating this filth. No wonder you squish why you walk. You're all grease and no Head Cheerleading Champion that you once were."

Quinn shook her head and put the plate back in the cabinet. They all sat back down with Sue at the table. "What do you suggest we do Coach?" Quinn asked.

"Well Quinn you were right to call me and tell me what is going on. I have connections still with the FBI and CIA. I've made a few phone calls while my private jet was fueled up with the stolen gas that Emma uses to slick that monkey's hair with," Coach Sue said while poking the bacon as if it was diseased.

"Wait, you called her? Quinn!" Santana looked at Quinn with shock. Her being here was meant to be secret. If it got out that she was alive or suspected to be alive then they were dead.

"Don't be mad at her Queen Latina. We are going to bring these bastards down and then you will come back to Lima to live out your contracted obligations to the Cheerios. I still own you and your fantastic splits for two years of failed duties," Sue said with nonchalance.

"What contract?" Santana asked confused.

"The legal binding document you signed when I promoted you to head cheerio," Sue answered.

"You didn't make me sign a contract," Quinn commented.

"I think we've gotten off track. Coach, how are we going to save San?" Brittany asked sitting on the edge of her seat.

"Ah, my sweet sweet Brittany. We are going to send all of you who know Santana is alive to witness protection, after Santana tells the feds all they need to know to bring down this bastard. When you are are all safe you can come back," Sue explained.

"No. I will not let them give up their lives for me. There has to be something else," Santana shook her head, sitting back and crossing her arms over her chest. She never wanted them to have to go into hiding like she had. She wouldn't allow their lives to be ruined anymore.

"I'm not going to risk losing you San. If this is how Coach can help, then we let her help," Brittany leaned over and reached for her hand.

"I won't let you all give up your lives for me," Santana reaffirmed her deceleration. She was already coming up with a plan on how she could do this alone.

"Whoever this man is, won't hesitate to kill you as soon as he finds you. You only live so long as you're useful. Now you are a liability to him and he will kill you. No magical revives or coming back from bullet between the eyes. You've been lucky so far. Let's not test when your luck runs out," Sue advised.

She unfolded her arms and took Brittany's hand in her own. She couldn't possibly have anymore luck left, not now that she finally got to be with Brittany. Now more than ever she had to think of her. He would find out about Brittany. He just had his ways and then she would be dead and unable to protect her anymore. Perhaps it was time to bring in the law. Even if it meant she would get in trouble as well; at least Brittany would be truly safe.

"What about me? I faked my death. I've broken so many laws and hurt so many people. I'm no better than the man who put me in this position," She asked looking back at Sue. Something flashed behind those eyes but she couldn't place the emotions she just saw from her ex coach.

"We've struck a deal. They bring this man and his underground down; you get to go free with a clean slate," Sue answered her question.

"It's a good deal, San. Take it," Quinn advised.

"If I do this, you two have to go into hiding with me. That means no more school, or work, or any of your friends. I couldn't ask you two to do that," She shook her head.

"You're not asking. We are telling you to. I want a life with you San. I want our own place, and marriage, and little babies. I want a future where you don't freak out when someone knocks on the door or you have all these bruises and cuts and near death moments. I want the life we should have had," Brittany pleaded with her, her eyes begging for Santana to make the deal.

She wanted to give Brittany all of that. The longer she envisioned that dream, the more and more she wanted it. But most importantly she would do this to keep Brittany alive. "Okay."

"Outstanding," Coach said while pulling out her phone. A call was made and before Santana could tear her gaze away from Brittany's there was another knock on the door.

**Author's note:  
**

**A bit of a cliff hanger. This chapter leads us into a time jump. The next chapter will pick up the aftermath of them going into witness protection. Perhaps only a few more chapters till this wraps itself up. I do have a continued part 2 planned for this but I might take a break and focus on Howl for Me for a bit. Of course, who knows what I'll be inspired to write at any time. **


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